My true self, I suppose...
Lying dormant in the dark
hidden behind the easy,
hollow words
words that lack
words that slack
words that fall onto ears but fail to even spark

what truly sparks the heart
are words that live
words that breathe
words that float on the wind through mountains
words that are whispered by leaves in the trees

Exotic, melodic
they fall from the tongue with excitement
bringing merriment
or pulling on your heart strings
words that make you think
words that dive down to the depths of what you're feeling
and rescues you from the pain you've been keeping
Setting you free

Nothing is the same as it was
when it was just you and me
watching the days fly by

Now every time I need to see your face
the memories are all I have to get by

You were supposed to grow old with the rest of us
You weren't supposed to leave without saying good-bye

It's so strange
life without you near
I smile, but with emptiness
I need you here.

so much has changed
you wouldn't recognize who I am
though I know that you'd be proud
waiting 'til the day I get to heaven
to pick your face out of the crowd

so difficult...
difficult to sit like this
remembering you
feeling just how much you are missed.

Start a fire in your heart
and throw all the painful memories inside
watch them burn
watch them burn
until there's nothing left of that life
all you can do is wish them well
let karma take control
you made it out of hell
rise from the ash
and spread your wings love
a new beginning awaits
new people
new places
don't be afraid to start again
shine bright and illuminate the night
dust off the embers and take flight

The words
The words in my head
Forever stuck in my head
I've tried
Oh! How I've tried
Again and again
To have those words spill from my pen
To light the world and inspire a smile
To bring out the dark, torturous and vile
To share all the pieces of myself
With the words that rise and fall
They beckon
They call
They taunt me
And haunt me
Begging to be layed on a page
And I have no choice
No choice but to obey.

I am not my body
there is no "me"
there is only a soul trapped within this flesh
trying desperately to reunite with its other half.
The two met briefly in this life
and just as quickly as they came together,
they were torn apart.
One half survives in this world
and the other, in the next.
How long can one go on living without the other?
2 years seems like a minute, feels like an eternity.
Oh divine spirits make them whole!
Make them whole so that they may find peace.

That feeling you get that won't go away
A world full of color splattered with balck and grey
Paint on a smile and march through the day
Touch up the corners when they start to fade
Dear, tender heart time it will take
To heal your wounds and embrace your fate
To love and live again for your own sake
To lust and love within a realm you create
Worry not of what "they" might say
Be true to youself and pave your own way

I'm still searching
searching for the pieces of myself
that fell away like autumn leaves
Plucked by the strong wind that I once called love and scattered about the sidewalk.

Little by little, they crumbled under the harsh and unforgiving footsteps.
I watched my dreams get torn apart
until there was nothing left to do but light the match.
I stared into the flames as they burned away.
I  stayed until there was nothing but ash.
l swept them up and put them in an urn on the shelf where my heart used to be, so I can remember what was, as I try to figure out what could be.