How strange it seems
that my feelings should be
so deep
so strong
so pure.
With each passing day,
my heart swells at this sight of you,
smiles at the thought of you,
and when you leave, it aches to be near you once more.
It's unexpected, in the most beautiful way.
You are the epitome of what I deserve but felt was out of my reach.
The way you look at me
lights a fire in my soul
the way you kiss me
makes me come undone...
More than the physical,
I am in love with your mind, the way you speak, your heart...all of you.
Yes, I am in love with you.
I feel all of these things,
all of these things with the words on the tip of my tongue and the front lines of my heart.
I can't let the words escape my lips.
It's never quite the right time
I fear that you'll run...
It's never quite the right place.
I didn't think that I would get here so quickly.
I didn't expect to love you so easily and so completely.
But I do.
I absolutely adore you.

I will walk the scorched sands of the earth with you
Side by side
Hand in hand
Mesmerized by the flames as they dance around us
Covered in ash and surrounded by golden embers
Hell will come and go…
We will face our fears and emerge victorious
like a  phoenix rising from the ash.
We stand tall, unscathed and full of strength.
Come hell or high water, we will make it through
It won’t be an easy road, of this I am sure
But we won’t have to travel it alone.
We’ll get through the worst of it all
And look back with a smile
We’ll see the beauty in darkness
And we’ll keep on goin
Side by side
Hand in hand
Inch by inch
Mile by mile.

Am I the only one who dreams
of leaving behind the material things
of going somewhere we can just be
everyday in the sun wild and free?

Why does it seem such an impossibility
to do away with what's not a necessity
to take part in the simplicity
of not keeping up with society?

Is it too much to ask if we
can take a day or two to let ourselves be free
to let the electronics and media be
and just like children frolic in the grass so green?

The words
The words in my head
Forever stuck in my head
I've tried
Oh! How I've tried
Again and again
To have those words spill from my pen
To light the world and inspire a smile
To bring out the dark, torturous and vile
To share all the pieces of myself
With the words that rise and fall
They beckon
They call
They taunt me
And haunt me
Begging to be layed on a page
And I have no choice
No choice but to obey.

I am not my body
there is no "me"
there is only a soul trapped within this flesh
trying desperately to reunite with its other half.
The two met briefly in this life
and just as quickly as they came together,
they were torn apart.
One half survives in this world
and the other, in the next.
How long can one go on living without the other?
2 years seems like a minute, feels like an eternity.
Oh divine spirits make them whole!
Make them whole so that they may find peace.

Seeing the way things have changed
Makes me feel a bit strange
Are we coming or going
Or are we just playing the game
I picture the day in my mind
When you say you love me
Leaving all worries behind
The day you put a ring on my finger
And ask me to be yours forever
On the outside I’m quite optimistic
But deep down I’m frightened to death
I find that I don’t know how to behave
Not wanting to push you away
When all I want to do is take you into my arms
And protect you from all harm
Yet there is little that I can do
But sit and wait patiently for you
And though these words may never reach you
I rip out my heart and wear it on my sleeve
For only you to see.

Leti, my Leti
my beautiful little girl
your smile so big and happy
your hair dark and full of curls.
Leti, my Leti
my precious little girl
So full of life, so full of love
you're everything that's ever mattered
My entire world.
Leti, my Leti
Life, without you, has no meaning
The days never end.
But I push forward, waiting...
for that day in heaven...
Waiting for that day I will see you again.

Twisted like vines
my mind wonders to other worlds
Post-apocolyptic society
No rules, No worries, No anxiety
Everyone does exactly what they please.

Along with my "crew"
we, the outcasts, rule.
WE are the untouchable.
WE are the untamable.
WE are the  unforgettable.

But oh! Who are you?
And why are you here?
You certainly are new to these parts my dear.

Now what shall we do?
Shall we lock you up?
You won't get out anytime soon.

Maybe, to spare you would be nice.
But WE remember your words,
and they were not at all kind.
Maybe you should think twice
before judging our so-called "sick" minds
that just happen to be twisted like vines.

"Slow down", she said.
"We're all just so restless,
We can't seem to sit still.
Moving too fast...
Just to throw it all away."

No one seems to think
for themselves anymore.
Bound ever so tightly
to the crowd.
Oblivious to the weight
that's dragging them down.

The best of intentions
are rotted away in the end.
Lamenting poor decisions,
and the way time was spent.

We're just fading away.
Believing in the mainstream.
Fading away...
Nothing's what it may seem.

How we crush our emotions,
until we are numb to the core.
Sedating ourselves,
always wanting "something more".

I’m free falling
Into the abyss that is your heart
Weightless and free
Wrapped in your warmth
Obsessed with your touch
My feelings for you build like ocean waves
Each time they come crashing down
I feel myself falling deeper and harder for you
I can’t deny this feeling
I won’t hide it.
I see the depth of your heart
I feel its pain
I feel its strength
For it resonates with my own
Like our hearts are calling out to each other...

I fear I’ve said too much
But forgive me if I hold you a little tighter
I just never want to let you go.

I am not an option
I am a **** good choice.
Despite my scars and insecurities,  
I am a prize!

I built the barricades to keep people out.
And I want to let you in.
But I can't make myself vulnerable around you.
All the love I still have for you,
all the love I long to show.
you make me feel like I'm just an option.
Like you could take me or leave me and it wouldn't make a difference.

To think...you mean the world to me and I have allowed this.
I've allowed it; it's the only way I could keep you.
I need you more than I'm willing to admit.

After all that we've been through, you make me question my own heart.

But every day I must push onward, putting myself first.

I am not an option.
I am a **** good choice.
Despite my scars and insecurities,  
I am a prize!

Insignificant conversations
Faux-friendly smiles
The agonizing transition
Into a dull and lack luster routine
My reality: no job will ever be
As full of joy and excitement
No job will ever be as rewarding
No increase in salary could ever replace
The love so freely given
The love that gave me purpose
MOM is the greatest job of all
MOM is the only title that fits
MOM.
MOM was me.

When did I lose it?

Where did I hide it?

Could you help me remember?

The place that I left it?

Where I last felt it lingering...

Lingering just behind me.

I've strayed too far,

Far from where I left it.

When was the last time that I held it?

I swore I could feel it,

Rising up beside me.

Ready to...

What?

Oh, my confidence is missing.

The pain still exists
Love is not a punishment
Love is not suffering
Love is not revenge

I was forgiven
For a time
Until he demanded that I pay for my crime
Deprived me of all feeling, he did
Together in the same room
Yet, alone in silence we’d sit

Obsessed with my suffering, he was
Finding reasons to upset me without real cause
Bait me with love then steal it all away
Day and night
Night and day
Years went by on that merry-go-round
Wishing he would let me go
Begging him to stay

He let me believe I deserved to suffer
Providing no answers when pressed
“Why do you treat me like this?!”
Met with only silence
At wit’s end
Staring at an emotionless face, I’d sit.

And I did deserve a consequence
Simply leaving would have been a better end
But he needed me to be full of self-loathing and shame
An obedient dog, I became
Hoping that he’d see
Just how devoted I could be
Still he never came around
Only kicked me while I was down

I am not who I was
And shall never be her again
I’ve learned from my mistakes
And become a master of self-restraint
I would not be who I am now
Without the experiences of then
New beginnings are always just around the bend.


I must keep it in my heart that…
I deserve so much more.
Love is honesty
Love is a healer
True love never wears thin.
Learn from the past
Build a beautiful future.

Another day, another dollar
another chance to scream and holler
about how the things we have are never enough
or about the friends that don't stay true to us
but if you look at the big picture once in a while
you'll discover the things and the people that make you smile.

Oh, what a difference a year makes
Take note of the changes
Of what has stayed the same.
Tears threaten to unravel me
As I reflect…
We’ve made it farther than most
And still have a long way to go
You are the best companion
My heart has ever known.
The love and compassion you exude
Warm my soul
My spirit renews.
It is I who is in awe of you
You love me in my lowest moods
You help me find  the best way to move
And in my darkness I wish you knew
The depth of all my gratitude.
As we continue down the road of life
I will always choose to fight
For us
Our right to bask in the light
Of love and harmony
For joy and serenity.

Start a fire in your heart
and throw all the painful memories inside
watch them burn
watch them burn
until there's nothing left of that life
all you can do is wish them well
let karma take control
you made it out of hell
rise from the ash
and spread your wings love
a new beginning awaits
new people
new places
don't be afraid to start again
shine bright and illuminate the night
dust off the embers and take flight

Through all of my faults
You’ve decided to love me
To cradle my heart in the safety of your hands
Your love revives
Your love restores my faith
And belief that love conquers all.
And though I am a wounded animal,
Traumatized by the abuse of others,
Your patience with me
And the extraordinary care you take
Lessens my fear
And causes my love for you to blossom
Like the most beautiful and precious flower
Of your heart,
My sweet and humble love,
I vow to protect it
To nurture it
To calm the wounded animal behind your eyes
Whose pain reflects my own
And even as the words flow from my pen,
I find it difficult to describe exactly what I feel for you
No amount of words or love songs is equivalent
To my emotion in depth and strength
And for all my fears
I carry with me all of my hopes
For our love to always stand strong
Unparalleled,
For it to continue to grow and flourish
With passion, respect, compassion and faith.
Oh,
I yearn for it with everything that I am.

I don't want to think
these terrible things
these terrible things
I think in my head
the questions I dare not ask
for fear of an answer
that shatters my dreams
fear that you will leave me
I drive myself through madness
though at times it seems
it's all in my head
these terrible things I think
I fear the ultimate consequence
has yet to come
Karma's repayment
for the terrible things I have done.

I had an angel,
and I know that she was real.
A bless-ed angel
that helped me to heal.
I tought her how to laugh,
and she taught me how to love,
and when my days were bad,
she gave the best hugs.

My very own angel,
helped me to move forward.
Such an inspiring angel,
always kept me on the right path,
even when i was unsure.
She learned so many things,
in so little time.
So smart, funny and pure,
I am glad that she was mine.                  

But God has taken her away,
my heart, now an empty shell.
Her absence leaves me paralyzed
there isn't much more to tell.
God took away my angel without a proper goodbye.
Took away my hope for the future,
leaving me to watch as my hopes and dreams die.

Tell me those things
those sweet, enchanting things
that make the mountains and the rivers sing
the delicate melody of a romance unfolding

Days are wasted contemplating the possibilities
trying to fight off the fear that lies beneath
the miracle of life unfolds
so much beauty to behold.

When the sky begins to fall
When the waves of the sea rage against the wind
And the journey becomes rough
Trust in me
I will help us stay strong

When the clouds darken the sky
And the thunder roars,
The wind howls and the rain pours
Trust in me
I will help us stay dry

When the sun is high
And the sky is clear and blue;
The birds sing in harmony;
From our cozy home, we have the perfect view
We are in this together
And I have faith in you

My love is here,
It is yours to take.
I will never abandon you
Nor will I turn the other cheek.
On our best days and our worst days
I will be there, now and always
To be your peace of mind
When times are hard
And we need that little push,
If we trust in each other,
We will find our way home
Back to love
Back to hope
Side by side
With love in our hearts,
And your hand in mine.

I’m vulnerable beneath your gaze
Exposed
Every part of me laid bare for you to see
My heart,
The most fragile of things
Sits delicately on my sleeve
Calling out to you
Reaching for you
We’ll hide away
In a safe place
Built from the loving foundation
That you and I create.

There's something that's built up inside of me
beckoning, beckoning: "Come, set me free!"
I feel it growing stronger, filling me with need
"Let me go, and your mind will be at ease..."
"You've built me up, now break me down! There's a new world to be seen!"
So, I take a deep breath...
Exhale, and release...

Cherish…
The word that comes to mind when I think of you
And the way that you look at me
Love…
Echoes within each word you say
The sound resonating within my soul
An infatuation with the way you speak
Passion…
Trails from your fingertips
As they glide across my skin
Taking me higher and higher
And bringing me down again
Safe…
Wrapped in the warmth of your arms
Peaceful and free
I am home
In your arms
I am home
Love…
You and all the things that make you wonderful
Your mind and the wisdom you share
Your heart and the strength you project
All the ways you show that you care
Your ambition and your drive
To create and nurture a better life
The contagiousness of your hope
Cherish…
Those sweet little things that you do
that reassure and support me
The tenderness you aren’t afraid to show
The emotions that pass between us
Like electricity flying through the air
Your eyes tell me you love me
And I feel it with every touch
You know just how to love me
And make my poor heart gush.

This feeling that I have for you
Beats fiercely within my chest
Growing all the while
Deeper into the rabbit hole I go
Savoring everything
As if tasting it for the first time
Wrapped in your love
I am free
Wrapped in your arms
I am secure
How did I get to be so fortunate?
To have found a love so pure
So strong
Loving you comes so easily to me
I can't believe I get to be loved by you
We can build something beautiful
You and I

I imagine a place, where the sunshine lives.
where the songs of the early birds pull us from slumber.
where love and joy fill the air; the very oxygen we breathe.
in the midst of nature's truth, nature's beauty...
all of life's meaning is laid out before us,
daring us to love,
and live,
to grow,
to discover the gifts we've been given.
we'll sit and pass the time underneath the shade of a great tree,
watching the clouds roll by.
skip stones on warm summer days
lay on the grass in the twilight gazing up at the stars...
hand-in-hand-in-hand
our hearts are full
You and I will
still gaze at each other all "googly" eyed
with smiles and love
and the stars above
in that place that we call home.

That feeling you get that won't go away
A world full of color splattered with balck and grey
Paint on a smile and march through the day
Touch up the corners when they start to fade
Dear, tender heart time it will take
To heal your wounds and embrace your fate
To love and live again for your own sake
To lust and love within a realm you create
Worry not of what "they" might say
Be true to youself and pave your own way

I'm still searching
searching for the pieces of myself
that fell away like autumn leaves
Plucked by the strong wind that I once called love and scattered about the sidewalk.

Little by little, they crumbled under the harsh and unforgiving footsteps.
I watched my dreams get torn apart
until there was nothing left to do but light the match.
I stared into the flames as they burned away.
I  stayed until there was nothing but ash.
l swept them up and put them in an urn on the shelf where my heart used to be, so I can remember what was, as I try to figure out what could be.

I watch
I wait
I close my eyes
And pray
For the struggle to end
For peace to begin
I pray to you
I pray to God
I'm praying more
Than i ever thought
I look for you
In the light
In the dark
You are my whole heart.

My true self, I suppose...
Lying dormant in the dark
hidden behind the easy,
hollow words
words that lack
words that slack
words that fall onto ears but fail to even spark

what truly sparks the heart
are words that live
words that breathe
words that float on the wind through mountains
words that are whispered by leaves in the trees

Exotic, melodic
they fall from the tongue with excitement
bringing merriment
or pulling on your heart strings
words that make you think
words that dive down to the depths of what you're feeling
and rescues you from the pain you've been keeping
Setting you free

My precious heart
I have to do something
You’re hurting
I can’t just sit around
I must present a solution
I must protect you from all harm
Live with me…
Come live with me
Share with me
Love with me
Wave good-bye to haunting memories and negativity with me
This is so soon, I know
But my mind is made up
And in my heart I trust
I want you to feel safe
You deserve to feel loved
All day
Everyday
Without a doubt

Ecstasy
Pure and untainted
Euphoria
Clean
Heavenly
Shakes me down to the core of my being
Outside the blurred lines of my vision
He is the light that guides me home
He is home
He is the place that makes me feel free
My heart filled with a new kind of peace
Free from pain
Free from anxiety
Just free to be me.

Nothing is the same as it was
when it was just you and me
watching the days fly by

Now every time I need to see your face
the memories are all I have to get by

You were supposed to grow old with the rest of us
You weren't supposed to leave without saying good-bye

It's so strange
life without you near
I smile, but with emptiness
I need you here.

so much has changed
you wouldn't recognize who I am
though I know that you'd be proud
waiting 'til the day I get to heaven
to pick your face out of the crowd

so difficult...
difficult to sit like this
remembering you
feeling just how much you are missed.