From the outside,
No love is present
And no love is received.

I am cold,
Stone hard.
I want to let you in
But is there anyway I can guarantee
That it will be okay?

I don't want you to see
The goons that lurk beneath.
You will run, turn and hide
It seems to be a common theme in my life.

There is no way that anyone can love me.
I am not pretty to look at
And am even messier underneath.
I don't deserve to be cherished.

Discomfort in my own skin
Has caused me to desperately search
For alternative ways to change me
But to no avail.

I have secrets that run like rivers
Through the depths and canyons of my soul.
Things I carry in suitcases
Everywhere I travel
Holding my breath that no one will open them
And that they will not burst.

Soon enough, however
I am going to burst.

I had my first kiss late last night
While I laid down in bed
You pulled me closer
As my heart beat faster
I didn't have time to pull away
or to think about what was happening
or even if my breath smelled okay
But I felt your lips pressed against mine
And nothing else mattered
It didn't last long
And I yearned for more the second our lips parted
You smiled at me
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling and realized
My first kiss was but a dream

She wasn't a religious girl
Lost faith a long time ago
She had been disappointed one too many times to believe
Told herself she'd never go back

And then she met a boy
Who shared her lack of belief
Every time she saw him it felt like heaven
But she reminded herself he'd eventually leave

This boy was more of a saint really
He was too good to be true
She waited for the inevitable heartbreak
Which was far overdue

He stayed by her side though
And she began to think about how
He was there when God never showed and
If it was possible to be an atheist who believed in angels

The thing I hate most about you isn't what you'd think
Sure the abuse is horrible
And you never could take a hint
But that's not what I hate most about you

I hate how you insult and bruise me
And then call it "love"
How you always compare me to my friends who I can never be
But there is still something more that I hate about you

I'm terrified that one day
I'll wear a ring on my finger, bound to someone I hate
And I'll have a girl who still has faith and prays
I'm scared that she'll become me and I'll turn into you
And that's the thing I hate the most about you

I woke up breathless and perplexed
The veil between reality and dreams hazy
I felt the ghost of your lips on mine
And then remembered they were never there to begin with

I fell in love with you,
it's true.
We were torn apart,
it nearly broke my heart.
We promised to hold on,
then one day you were gone.
I neither slept nor ate.
I was living a nightmare from which i couldn't wake.
Happy images of us fill my head,
then sad ones follow and I wish I was dead.
I can't get you out of my mind,
now I'm haunted and I bet you are just fine.
Someday when I'm strong,
I will move on.
I can't wait till the day I do.
I can't wait till I'm finally free of you.

If tomorrow never comes and time runs out
will I know?
Will I look back ,and in surprise with wonder flooding through my eyes and wonder where I am?
Will I still be a man or will I be mist
Will you miss me when I'm gone and then will the time that ran out carry on
If tomorrow never comes and I never see another day,
who will pray for me?

It's okay for me to wonder on the reasons why I might be gone,as age begins to take its toll,it seems that I have reached some milestone,attained a goal,
(I score at last when I have passed away)
Will you pray for me
Will you stand beside my headstone,head in hands,crying
or am I prying?
If tomorrow doesn't come and I do go,
will I know.

My head was rested on your chest
Your fingers intertwined in mine
Everything seemed normal again
But we were far from it
You weren't mine and I wasn't yours
We talked for hours
It was so hard to be that close to you but still know
That I did not have you
I wanted you to be mine again
I wanted the world to make sense again

You knew it would be my last moment there
You walked me out and kissed me goodbye
I didn't want to believe that this was going to be my
Last time kissing you
I got in my car and drove away
I drove away for the last time