Shivers that rattled fillings
My skin a prickle
This mind all hated
It's man flu

Pathetic in my voice
Aches to the bone
Chicken soup and hot tea
My man flu

I went to bed at eight
Dripped sheets still damp
I'm sneezing from the heavens
La man flu

Two paras at the ready
A quota almost full
This nose is running a marathon
Only man flu

I staying here
Downstairs can wait
Please give me strength
Man flu

Be the 4am awake
Turn my look
I turn my face
All alone

Hear the waking of the morn
Come the music
Let them caw
All alone

Empty bed was made for two
Crumpled half
Waiting for you
All alone

Now I wonder through the streets
No one talks
Tis my defeat
All alone

Be the blueness in the sky
Looking up I see the lie
Can't you see them
Hiding there
All the stars
Oh Twinkling shadows....
So I reach and grab your soul
Take you with me
Eat you whole
Lay with me
Come warm my bed
....home

Shadows everywhere
Following my past
Do I leave a stain
Is there really that much hurt

I can see them creeping out
Just a glimpse awaits
Hungry as they lurch
Drowning from my sadness

It's early and I'm searching for dawn
I've seen enough for the night
I can taste their thirst
And it's bitter oh so bitter

Light me awake
Hide all thats dank
Till the ticking of time
Comes looking for my fear

Sitting here to silent shout of spring
Birds echoing in my solomn mind
The view quite all stunning
A sun awakened
That earns a smile in my heart

Yet I cannot shake these downs
Beating without sound or scream
You know what I'm feeling
A bitten lip diverts that look
Oh what a beautiful sunset

I like my graveyard view
Rolling hills of shadows smoking away
Around me flying things buzzing for a fight
Will the bells sing me a song
Blossom of pink close enough to breath

They are here
People I knew ,people of old
Young that never lived
Old that wanted more
I don't wish to join then
I want to live

The Dribble

I woke up to the dribble
All slapping at my cheek
It wasn't very pretty
It made me feel quite bleek

My tongue just wasn't cutting it
It needed handed touch
The dribble wasn't shifting
Till backhand gave it love

So there I am still half asleep
This goo all on my hand
I wiped it on my girlfriends hair
I'm sure she'll understand

The light of the morn shadows my eyes
I can see trees whispering a rattle
Hear the chorus of dawn
Yet it feels to early for life to wake

Stretching my bones they creak from slumber
Aching muscles still raw
Body at rest to a minds party out

Welcome to the sleepless
We are the special ones
We hear your dreams
Catch your sounds

Surrounded by self inflicted paralysis
I thirst tea
Wondering if others feel the same
Do we all not move

Sleepless

It's early
I want to feel asleep
Turning at my pillow

I dream

Like a bullet to the board
I threw and threw
The impossible 180
Beyond all these thoughts

Week after week the team sighed
Hand covering faces
Shouts of oh noooo
Yet still I did throw

Ti's an honour to play
If only I was as good as before
My bullets not true
My score always blue

Then it came
A night as we know
I'm on my old usual
The 7s I show

It's nothing to shout
Until it occured
I threw like I knew It
All nervously I'm sure

Till 3 darts did happen
180 it's true
I couldn't believe it
And neither will you

Then to add to this tale
My son did inhale
His first in his life
A 180 last night

Impossible 180
A fait accompli
My longing a next time
We'll see eh maybe

Her eyes shone to porcelain
With a smile that devoured
Bronzed skin to a glistening crack
She was beautiful

I could only look from afar
Bite down on my lust
Bow my head
Dream of her scent upon me

Was I the fallen one
Madly in love with a sway
I couldn't think
Focus nor cry

The train left
Plumes of dust covered my face
She was gone
And I was forever lost

I wasn't ready yet
So much work to be done
Yet there he was
The black black crow

It was 3 in the morning
My bladder all so
Glasses abandoning my blur
Shadows awaiting me

And the shiver did come
Spine tingling my silver skin
The view quite the frightening
My rage boiled

The black black crow sounded
He didn't know I had it
My protector smiled
For I needed many years to come

Deep in my breath
The blow did its fire
Singeing black feathers floated the sky
In flight of his path
The black black crow moved on
To the next

Maybe I should do it
End the end
Would anyone want
Bleed tears from their heart
I doubt it

Take breaths be those last
No fortune to add
Seek all that is down
My last raise a frown

See I watched take his last
My dad wanten grasp
My fate not this way
A death watched touché  

Now how may I do it
A drunken glass pulpit
Some tablets a wash
Daggers a blast

I can't really say
My heads disaray
My mind be a blast
These thoughts all my last

All that was ...
Was not all that could be
Your face in my vision
This end that I see

I wonder what people would say upon my death

Would I be this great man of stature
Be so generous in life they'd stare in wonder
Would I be so loveable
Be the one you could hug at a thousand paces
Would I be the kindness of kind
Be so helpful in every way possible holding a thousand doors

I wonder what people would say upon my death
Would I be a name just forgotten
Be the one so annoying that I'd clear a room in seconds
Would I be cursed forever
Be hated for all that I gave to others till the last of my breath
Would I be so ugly
Be written in stone he did his worse go be the better man

I wonder what people would say upon your death

Your death isn't painfull
No linger to ones hurt
It comes and leaves you senseless
It's really awfully cute

See its nothing more than toothache
A hindrance of mankind
Like dead leg of your body
Screaming comes to mind

Let pain be left to others
A will you'll never hear
Missing smiles and laugh a lots
It's gone all nots to fear

So face your fears in waters breath
There's nothing to be scared
The pain is all for others mind
Unless you sing out loud

Tiredness creeping in
It's still the night
And I'm awake
She snores

The bell of St Paul's would be quieter
My cat on a zoom
The dog of next door rattling
Yet still
She snores

My eyes are wide open
These ears are all bled
The roof is all lifted
Yet still
She snores

The daylight is coming
The tweet from dawn birds
I'm so wanting sleep
Yet still
She snores

Oh please let me sleep
This madness fried eyes
Just one silent breath please
Yet still
She snores

Dawn has alarmed her
Was that all it took
I think I hear silence
Zzzzzzzzzz
He snores

When all you have is time

Laying there in the darkness of day
I feel the heat blister my skin
Thoughts wandering this life
Life taking my time

Ebbing away consuming my day
A lust for the truth
My mind be all confused
To be more than this
Time stealing this wish

Clock ticking the day
My mind falling away
One want for more time
A must for I cry
Give me a chance

Beautiful things are difficult
It's how we drove this world
Imagine what we could achieve
If love became us all

Religion gone it's not so real
All faiths denied but love
Wars of hugs and super smiles
Weapons drawn in good

A world of peace go be my freind
All money spent on kind
No hunger games just happiness
Long live the righteous life

These beautiful things are difficult
Yet in our palmed out hands
Just think next time you want to rage
Go solve it ...understand

I cannot change the hurt I am
A style been moulded
This life all had
It's how I roll to rock and sound
A party had my head a crown

It's what you get that most don't like
I'd drive away if that was kind
But for no ryhme I'd look right back
Turn full circle this hearts all tact
Bleed me out go fight the black

It's lurking all hidden in plain sight
Cloud upon cloud billowing behind
Yet as I turn my eyes drown this fog
Will it smother me in sleep
Turn me cold
Eat my breath

No apologies to shout my minds made all out
The balance is fine be madness to shine
Don't get me you see like most thinking tree
He's daft all not there a man in despair
I covet you all let my smile be your fall


It'll be the end this chosen path
One for the book of deathly blast
On a starry night you'll look up high
See me twinkle in your eye
Make you smile as memories fade
I lives this life in every way

How bright is your light of white and blue
Brided be blessed on fire anew
Some be green or the yellow of sun
Half be the in and shine out the dark
Ti's a beginning of the beginnings
Tickled snowdrops only mother to know
Our future is safe and so be the
Lighten candles of spring

I be silently shouting
But you don't hear
A screaming I'm feeling
No rescue my fear

And so be it
They don't understand
All echoed inside me
At peace all a lie

Silently screaming
Away I should run
These walls fight my feelings
Padded and worn

Silently screaming
I'm tired lost the will
I think I'm alone here
The bitter last pill

Sadness comes from a man's eyes
Rivers that fall to a waterfalls end
All bittersweet lost through gritted lips
Till the darkness comes

We do not cease to exist as time go's on
Anger only devours the moments
Fire only rages to ash in the wind
Till we become another

Our kindness is free it's contagious
Be the one to share in my smile
Pass as I do through your world
Till the darkness comes

They Thirst

My lips dribble to the wanted taste
A feeble buzz that grows within
My grasp hard and steady
It's early but who am I to doubt
They thirst

Golden fluid holds it's spell
The demon drink a rotting hell
Voices in my head rasping a taste
I cannot deny my heady haste
They thirst

It's the look you see
Sorrowed eyes that meet under the bloodshot lamps
All knowing the mirrors end
They thirst

Flow into me
Drown my weakness in the sound of the ghouls *****
His church be my next
They thirst

A last be my breath
They thirst

First in her hair she sat in silence
A quaintness behold
That charming smile
Held a life

And here I am
The nothing
Yet a promise
To her way

Only a writer writes the writer
A friendship almost to born
Their story to be told
Sees the writer write
their wall.

I say this from afar
A corner round the way
Don't shoot the happy  messenger
I'm here
I am the all

I could feel the winter creeping in through the windows
A white hue hung in the air
Fingers of ice ready to embroil me in it's pleasure
Yet I was warm and made of toasty
Yes
These are the good days

My roof was sound as the wind announced its arrival
I smiled a whistle
Singing the only creak to be heard as I opened a full cupboard
I was ready to devour
Yes  
These are the good days

Time does now tick as my age turns to grey
A smile of great memories
Crying sadness of old loss
My role to remember
A job to create such
I look down through the blur
These old hands all now wrinkled
The good days all gone

You think it's about you
Haven't got a clue
Wishing your importance
The usual crew

I live it on the edge
Made it my place
It's really quite beautiful
And so was you

You think it's about you
Haven't got a clue
You think it's about you
The usual crew

So now I sit there alone
Failing to fall
From the edge comes the call
Ending the all

You think it's about you
Haven't got a clue
You think it's about you
The usual crew

Sipping grapes to sigh
My love
our life
You think it's about you

Your words make you look ugly
That mouth all flabby
It's not too nice
You acted the mouse

Prance like that dancer
Sting like a bee
Your still so fooking ugly
Ugly you see

Where once was a flower
Pretty and light
Now stands such bitter
Crooked and spite

I won't let it
Stop me in sleep
I'll walk right over you
Your ugly ..I'm right

Read as you see it
Look in the mirror
Ugly you be
Like your words

So the music crackled
I'd had a start
No words to follow
No beat to heart

I didn't know it
A tune elsewhere
A party started
Crowded cheer

They sat around
And glowed their phones
Whilst I was raving
There's a party in my head

There's a party in my head
Dancing with the dead
There's a party in my head
Dancing with the dead

All I wanted was to hold
Wrap my fingers
Feel your close
Sway with me

There's a party in my head

It's not a switch you see
I can't just turn it on
Ok the smile is there
Yet inside I'm dead

The lifeless soul of the party
only if they saw through skin
No dancing out the story
A silence deep within

You'll see me laugh and smile
All drowned by gin and it
All missed a country mile
Vacant prancing ***

And ends another tear roles
As age decrees my old
Still dead all on inside
Waiting breaths the last fight

Tomorrow New Year's day
Go take my past away
I'm dead all said before
Last year my evermore

I could not wish a happy new year
from these tears
that drown me

So instead
I will bid thee all
a good night
before the wolves
Devour what is wanted
from their thirst

They gathered around me like spiders on a Web
My disappointment became their loss
Pages a few but not the many
As I had the patience to wait the call

Clearly they had no clue of the cutting of my words
A measly 400 is that was requested
So now they must suffer
Feeding the flame
Raging the dragon

Remember you was warned
Did you not read me
Could you not tell
The devil lives below you
My village be your hell

I feel my morning is stolen
No clearing of eyes
A cough in the distance
Inside all disguised

My Christmas has gone
And I don't know what's wrong
My Christmas has gone
And I can't hear my song

I know I should smile
Be part of the show
Drink lightly to laughter
Feign all surprised

My Christmas has gone
And I don't know what's wrong
My Christmas has gone
And I can't hear our song

Your presents still waiting
All wrapped in my mind
But now your no longer
That touch all declined

My Christmas has gone
And I know all my wrong
My Christmas has gone
All silenced anon

Drip drip drip bled my heart
Tick tick tick sounds the clock
Fear fear fear from those eyes
As time strikes it's chime

Do you scare what I scare
Does your end feel as I
The game we play is chaptered
Our history of all we made

I won't fly far
A Robins song we'll sing
As the sun rises
As the moon falls
Sing sing sing ...it's OK

The headaches became a scream
Gnawing at my innards
Washing out my soul
Enjoying the taste

My heart is fading
I can feel it's quell
Slowly dripping away
Cooling this skin to a chilling end

And out I stare
Wanting the more
To end it wrong now
Breath in taste the fear

Breath in taste the fear
Seal up beat my heart
Breath in taste the fear
Don't break my heart

Can you not see it in their eyes
Just look around
They've been fooled
And the film has started

Watch as they seek
Search for the need
In the palm of their hand
Controlled

Fooled by the few
They now walk without a look
Speak misunderstood as we all hear
Waiting for the siren
28

I too have been taken
Glued to my skin
Days all the numbered
Screen to the blindness

Days become the weeks
Weeks become the years
You know it's coming
28

Clouds wallowing a screaming shout
That unsettled me as I struggled to stir
What was that
A warning maybe
Or just the madness in my head showing its teeth

I wanted to wipe the misted window before me
Search the sound that pictured my mind
Sadness dripped from these eyes
I couldn't do it

Writers edge

6am and the darkness wallows
Sounds of life outside
Only silenced in my mind
Echoing
Bounding
Screaming on deafened ears

This shout for help
Numb to all but me
And my tingling skin
Ti's a wanting need
A tasted crave

My writers edge in force
As words pour
Yet the pages read empty
A day not yet ready
Let's begin

Wash away my colour

The wind comes in and
It's cold
They tell us lies
Yet
It fits the colour
Hides the truth that
Under
We are all the same

I wear this coat of me you see
A rainbow coloured skin
like yours it's me
Warm
And full of life ..full of freedom

Yet if
I could wash away my colours
Dance upon the rain
Dust my legs in puddles
Under all the same

My red is in my blood
It bleed like all on here
Our heaven be thy earth
This kingdom of insane

So  
Wash away my colour
Treat us all as one
That's what we live and die for
Our hope
A dream begun

To the person I've become
I like you a lot
That anger that became you
No longer rages

As life goes on its ending
I hope you read me well
So understand my wanton
I lived a mental hell

Yet peace becomes my coat
So made of colours many
I will wear it well
till
It bleeds my crimson death

You may see this coat of colours  
These words all in the past
Tis written on these papers
A life I didn't laugh

I like the future me inside me
It's better than the past
Yet time has come my enemy
To
Live it while it lasts

I wanted to take all your pain away
I failed
I wanted it to be all better again
I failed
Maybe my words of love and want and a future to come can help
Maybe

I wanted this week to end three days ago
I failed
I wanted the news but not those words
I failed
Your ache will become you
This challenge to beat all challenges to a future to come
I failed you

Tomorrow is your future
Tomorrow is your time
Don't bitter on the past as those memories will stay rightly as
Tomorrow is today

Grip it and fight it
Show your teeth at heavens door
Because you are the tomorrow
My future
And this world is depending on you
So be the you
Be the future

Strange way to die

My breath all fading
A mess behaving
The calm to end a storm
Raged and all forlorn
The end is number 9

Now 9 was wanting trouble
And trouble came his way
He thought he was a wise one
Ducking out this day
But little did he know this that
2 was in his wings
Waiting for that moment
Ready for its sting

I watched them fight above me
The gods were standing by
I climbed but kept on slipping
3 was by my side
So here I stay some longer
The numbers never lie
My 2 was fighting for me
My death from 9
Denied

Really Number 6

What have you done
Where is my sun
Have you hidden it
Taken all it's glow
July is shivering
Drowning in the rain
Give me back my sunshine
Take away the grey

I want to feel the warmth
Golden coloured land
Sun be in my vision
Buckets in the sand
Ice cream dripping down me
Sweat upon this brow
Give me back my sunshine
Calling number 9

Number 7

I could see the same old curtains
Taste their tang
Stale damp and worthless
Netting stained to match
This house once had joy
It once had love

And yet I walked past it most days
Never noticed the rotting windows
Nor the lack of life
So why today
Was it a reflection of me
Was I in fact just looking in the mirror

In my mind I'm 18 yet my body laughs a giggle
Creaks a groan
That glance of ones reflection
Catching a gasp of grey
Seeing lines and crevasses
From cloudy eyes in deny

So there it is
It's not deep
Not sad
Just an ebb I'm fading too
This number almost up
Seven

Pieces of Eight

The piece fits yet my heart cries a sorrow
Saddened and lonely as I walk the dusted path
Flowers trodden,grass all straw my heaven all a front
These tears a drowning pool

Last night was nearly over
This breath a rasp of roars
A fight on the continue
I live another day

So I must sparkle in this madness
Make every second count
You'll never know the ending
Blackness broken out

The dawn of another sparkle shines
Yet as my eyes stir I can barely see through the haze of a sleepless night
Are the birds singing of happiness
Or is that just my wish upon this world

Can one feel this lonely with so many friends around them
Should they see my smile all cracked and torn
No not ever
It's my mask I bore
And
It feels so heavy
Has Scrooge's friend been busy
I don't know nor care
Just pass me another sip
So I can forget the minutes past

Pulsing through my skin
Filling all those holes
The smile is here again
This mask my only friend
It's back
And so am I

So do not put away tomorrow
Live it like the last
A mask can slip to sorrow
And fade away to past

Do not hide from the clouds
Let the wind blow as it should
Don't become the stranger
Fallen and heavy
I see your mask

It's hurting today
A coming inside of me
And I don't know why

My feelings are grey
And my eyes hurt
Come breath a little out

Maybe the music will play
I'll dance on my heart
Will you watch me sway

Dance on my heart my love
Dance me away
Dance on my breath tonight
Tomorrow can wait

It's hurting today
My best all gone away
And I don't know why

Dance me away
Dance on my breath tonight
Tomorrow can wait

I can feel my body dying
And it's really quite annoying
An ache become a pain
As I wander to racing life
Old age

A grumble deep inside me
Keeps blowing and indeed does frighten thee
My mind so crystal
you could drink
A liquor so bitter be my quince

So now I wait a final call
Short breaths await my curtain fall
This heart is failing
My body raving
The dance of death
Dance the dance of death

Itch

The dawn had come
My fear still alive and wanting
It's crawl to an itch I couldn't scratch nor reach
So I lay to the sweetest sound of the waking blackbird
A song no words could ever meet
Oh I itch

Inhaling the calm yet deep inside I knew
It also knew and I was scared
I was scared to reach
Scared to test my inevitably
Oh how I itch

Licking lips I remembered last night's  golden red liquor
It thins my blood ..Loosens my mind to a dullness
Thus numbs this prickled skin that wraps my soul
Oh I itch

Shadows fading to a moonlight end
I needed sleep
Would this be it
I don't know
Silence on the outside
Fear creeping in
I can feel it Coming
Oh how I itch

The dullest of sounds in life
Piercing my mind
Drowning my sleep
Rain be it on cleansing me inside
The clouds look grey

It's summer in my heart yet here I am shivering
Watching lanes stream across these blurry eyes
***** skies sharing their tears
Quenching an ever thirsting land
Puddles waiting
The birds know

They sing a triumph of green
As I await the glow
Oh sun I need your summer
Shine your beauty
Awaken my smile from
The tortured poets department

My hand slips ...I feel it's grasp gone against those little morsels of time
It's not my face aging
just the mirrors my fingers scrape against as I write
Happy
New
Year

Be I brittle tonight
simple
sad
this lonely

Be I crackled tonight
edgy
Quiet
This tired

Be I me tonight
Waiting
Wanting
This lying

Brittle and cold
Cometh ready to snap
Branches of old
I fight thee