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So the music crackled
I'd had a start
No words to follow
No beat to heart

I didn't know it
A tune elsewhere
A party started
Crowded cheer

They sat around
And glowed their phones
Whilst I was raving
There's a party in my head

There's a party in my head
Dancing with the dead
There's a party in my head
Dancing with the dead

All I wanted was to hold
Wrap my fingers
Feel your close
Sway with me

There's a party in my head
4d · 33
Evermore
It's not a switch you see
I can't just turn it on
Ok the smile is there
Yet inside I'm dead

The lifeless soul of the party
only if they saw through skin
No dancing out the story
A silence deep within

You'll see me laugh and smile
All drowned by gin and it
All missed a country mile
Vacant prancing ***

And ends another tear roles
As age decrees my old
Still dead all on inside
Waiting breaths the last fight

Tomorrow New Year's day
Go take my past away
I'm dead all said before
Last year my evermore
4d · 27
No
No
I could not wish a happy new year
from these tears
that drown me

So instead
I will bid thee all
a good night
before the wolves
Devour what is wanted
from their thirst
5d · 96
Hell
They gathered around me like spiders on a Web
My disappointment became their loss
Pages a few but not the many
As I had the patience to wait the call

Clearly they had no clue of the cutting of my words
A measly 400 is that was requested
So now they must suffer
Feeding the flame
Raging the dragon

Remember you was warned
Did you not read me
Could you not tell
The devil lives below you
My village be your hell
Dec 2024 · 29
My Christmas has gone
andy fardell Dec 2024
I feel my morning is stolen
No clearing of eyes
A cough in the distance
Inside all disguised

My Christmas has gone
And I don't know what's wrong
My Christmas has gone
And I can't hear my song

I know I should smile
Be part of the show
Drink lightly to laughter
Feign all surprised

My Christmas has gone
And I don't know what's wrong
My Christmas has gone
And I can't hear our song

Your presents still waiting
All wrapped in my mind
But now your no longer
That touch all declined

My Christmas has gone
And I know all my wrong
My Christmas has gone
All silenced anon
Dec 2024 · 355
Robins song
andy fardell Dec 2024
Drip drip drip bled my heart
Tick tick tick sounds the clock
Fear fear fear from those eyes
As time strikes it's chime

Do you scare what I scare
Does your end feel as I
The game we play is chaptered
Our history of all we made

I won't fly far
A Robins song we'll sing
As the sun rises
As the moon falls
Sing sing sing ...it's OK
Dec 2024 · 49
Breath In
andy fardell Dec 2024
The headaches became a scream
Gnawing at my innards
Washing out my soul
Enjoying the taste

My heart is fading
I can feel it's quell
Slowly dripping away
Cooling this skin to a chilling end

And out I stare
Wanting the more
To end it wrong now
Breath in taste the fear

Breath in taste the fear
Seal up beat my heart
Breath in taste the fear
Don't break my heart
Dec 2024 · 33
Phone zombie
andy fardell Dec 2024
Can you not see it in their eyes
Just look around
They've been fooled
And the film has started

Watch as they seek
Search for the need
In the palm of their hand
Controlled

Fooled by the few
They now walk without a look
Speak misunderstood as we all hear
Waiting for the siren
28

I too have been taken
Glued to my skin
Days all the numbered
Screen to the blindness

Days become the weeks
Weeks become the years
You know it's coming
28
Dec 2024 · 29
Do it
andy fardell Dec 2024
Clouds wallowing a screaming shout
That unsettled me as I struggled to stir
What was that
A warning maybe
Or just the madness in my head showing its teeth

I wanted to wipe the misted window before me
Search the sound that pictured my mind
Sadness dripped from these eyes
I couldn't do it
Dec 2024 · 44
Writers Edge
andy fardell Dec 2024
Writers edge

6am and the darkness wallows
Sounds of life outside
Only silenced in my mind
Echoing
Bounding
Screaming on deafened ears

This shout for help
Numb to all but me
And my tingling skin
Ti's a wanting need
A tasted crave

My writers edge in force
As words pour
Yet the pages read empty
A day not yet ready
Let's begin
Nov 2024 · 111
Wash away my colour
andy fardell Nov 2024
Wash away my colour

The wind comes in and
It's cold
They tell us lies
Yet
It fits the colour
Hides the truth that
Under
We are all the same

I wear this coat of me you see
A rainbow coloured skin
like yours it's me
Warm
And full of life ..full of freedom

Yet if
I could wash away my colours
Dance upon the rain
Dust my legs in puddles
Under all the same

My red is in my blood
It bleed like all on here
Our heaven be thy earth
This kingdom of insane

So  
Wash away my colour
Treat us all as one
That's what we live and die for
Our hope
A dream begun
Aug 2024 · 96
Coat of Colours
andy fardell Aug 2024
To the person I've become
I like you a lot
That anger that became you
No longer rages

As life goes on its ending
I hope you read me well
So understand my wanton
I lived a mental hell

Yet peace becomes my coat
So made of colours many
I will wear it well
till
It bleeds my crimson death

You may see this coat of colours  
These words all in the past
Tis written on these papers
A life I didn't laugh

I like the future me inside me
It's better than the past
Yet time has come my enemy
To
Live it while it lasts
Aug 2024 · 111
This Future
andy fardell Aug 2024
I wanted to take all your pain away
I failed
I wanted it to be all better again
I failed
Maybe my words of love and want and a future to come can help
Maybe

I wanted this week to end three days ago
I failed
I wanted the news but not those words
I failed
Your ache will become you
This challenge to beat all challenges to a future to come
I failed you

Tomorrow is your future
Tomorrow is your time
Don't bitter on the past as those memories will stay rightly as
Tomorrow is today

Grip it and fight it
Show your teeth at heavens door
Because you are the tomorrow
My future
And this world is depending on you
So be the you
Be the future
Jul 2024 · 291
Strange way to die
andy fardell Jul 2024
Strange way to die

My breath all fading
A mess behaving
The calm to end a storm
Raged and all forlorn
The end is number 9

Now 9 was wanting trouble
And trouble came his way
He thought he was a wise one
Ducking out this day
But little did he know this that
2 was in his wings
Waiting for that moment
Ready for its sting

I watched them fight above me
The gods were standing by
I climbed but kept on slipping
3 was by my side
So here I stay some longer
The numbers never lie
My 2 was fighting for me
My death from 9
Denied
Jul 2024 · 263
Really Number 6
andy fardell Jul 2024
Really Number 6

What have you done
Where is my sun
Have you hidden it
Taken all it's glow
July is shivering
Drowning in the rain
Give me back my sunshine
Take away the grey

I want to feel the warmth
Golden coloured land
Sun be in my vision
Buckets in the sand
Ice cream dripping down me
Sweat upon this brow
Give me back my sunshine
Calling number 9
Jul 2024 · 142
Number 7
andy fardell Jul 2024
Number 7

I could see the same old curtains
Taste their tang
Stale damp and worthless
Netting stained to match
This house once had joy
It once had love

And yet I walked past it most days
Never noticed the rotting windows
Nor the lack of life
So why today
Was it a reflection of me
Was I in fact just looking in the mirror

In my mind I'm 18 yet my body laughs a giggle
Creaks a groan
That glance of ones reflection
Catching a gasp of grey
Seeing lines and crevasses
From cloudy eyes in deny

So there it is
It's not deep
Not sad
Just an ebb I'm fading too
This number almost up
Seven
Jul 2024 · 345
Pieces of Eight
andy fardell Jul 2024
Pieces of Eight

The piece fits yet my heart cries a sorrow
Saddened and lonely as I walk the dusted path
Flowers trodden,grass all straw my heaven all a front
These tears a drowning pool

Last night was nearly over
This breath a rasp of roars
A fight on the continue
I live another day

So I must sparkle in this madness
Make every second count
You'll never know the ending
Blackness broken out
Jun 2024 · 79
The Mask
andy fardell Jun 2024
The dawn of another sparkle shines
Yet as my eyes stir I can barely see through the haze of a sleepless night
Are the birds singing of happiness
Or is that just my wish upon this world

Can one feel this lonely with so many friends around them
Should they see my smile all cracked and torn
No not ever
It's my mask I bore
And
It feels so heavy
Has Scrooge's friend been busy
I don't know nor care
Just pass me another sip
So I can forget the minutes past

Pulsing through my skin
Filling all those holes
The smile is here again
This mask my only friend
It's back
And so am I

So do not put away tomorrow
Live it like the last
A mask can slip to sorrow
And fade away to past

Do not hide from the clouds
Let the wind blow as it should
Don't become the stranger
Fallen and heavy
I see your mask
Jun 2024 · 295
It's Hurting Today
andy fardell Jun 2024
It's hurting today
A coming inside of me
And I don't know why

My feelings are grey
And my eyes hurt
Come breath a little out

Maybe the music will play
I'll dance on my heart
Will you watch me sway

Dance on my heart my love
Dance me away
Dance on my breath tonight
Tomorrow can wait

It's hurting today
My best all gone away
And I don't know why

Dance me away
Dance on my breath tonight
Tomorrow can wait
Jun 2024 · 78
Dance of death
andy fardell Jun 2024
I can feel my body dying
And it's really quite annoying
An ache become a pain
As I wander to racing life
Old age

A grumble deep inside me
Keeps blowing and indeed does frighten thee
My mind so crystal
you could drink
A liquor so bitter be my quince

So now I wait a final call
Short breaths await my curtain fall
This heart is failing
My body raving
The dance of death
Dance the dance of death
May 2024 · 97
The Itch
andy fardell May 2024
Itch

The dawn had come
My fear still alive and wanting
It's crawl to an itch I couldn't scratch nor reach
So I lay to the sweetest sound of the waking blackbird
A song no words could ever meet
Oh I itch

Inhaling the calm yet deep inside I knew
It also knew and I was scared
I was scared to reach
Scared to test my inevitably
Oh how I itch

Licking lips I remembered last night's  golden red liquor
It thins my blood ..Loosens my mind to a dullness
Thus numbs this prickled skin that wraps my soul
Oh I itch

Shadows fading to a moonlight end
I needed sleep
Would this be it
I don't know
Silence on the outside
Fear creeping in
I can feel it Coming
Oh how I itch
May 2024 · 84
Dawn chorus
andy fardell May 2024
Dawn Chorus

I know they are ready
Yet the deadly silence waves at me
In my head the noise
Creeping around my body
I'm Awake

Blowing at the tree I see them
A dawn to come
A scratch to reap
Down my back in madness
I scream of silence
I'm Awake

Sing to me little bird
Bring my smile
For now I am ready
To live ...for a while
To dawn my sadness
I'm Awake

And so be it
One more day to fear
Notching away on wood
Sing my song little bird
Sing my song
I'm Awake
andy fardell May 2024
The dullest of sounds in life
Piercing my mind
Drowning my sleep
Rain be it on cleansing me inside
The clouds look grey

It's summer in my heart yet here I am shivering
Watching lanes stream across these blurry eyes
***** skies sharing their tears
Quenching an ever thirsting land
Puddles waiting
The birds know

They sing a triumph of green
As I await the glow
Oh sun I need your summer
Shine your beauty
Awaken my smile from
The tortured poets department
Jan 2023 · 226
Happy New Year
andy fardell Jan 2023
My hand slips ...I feel it's grasp gone against those little morsels of time
It's not my face aging
just the mirrors my fingers scrape against as I write
Happy
New
Year
Jul 2020 · 339
Brittle
andy fardell Jul 2020
Be I brittle tonight
simple
sad
this lonely

Be I crackled tonight
edgy
Quiet
This tired

Be I me tonight
Waiting
Wanting
This lying

Brittle and cold
Cometh ready to snap
Branches of old
I fight thee
Jul 2020 · 278
The Beaten
andy fardell Jul 2020
Tis my moment
Pure black
I can feel the grinding
All blind

And suffer my rage
Disappointed
This end I shall seek
Be it blown
i
Jan 2020 · 95
The Poet and the Painter
andy fardell Jan 2020
We met upon a crispy sky
All blue amongst the grey
Another day in paradise
Tis just our simple way
It could have been my writing
We knew it was his art
The chat amongst the coffee
The coming of our start

Such painted works
A gasp of breath all locked away from view
It kept the folk from knocking there
His peace an artists pew

Now some of you may know this chair
But I've seen what it means
Its stains of life all laid on view
Comes safely watched
You know!
The penguins stare.

Its in my grasp ,its in his too
All bubble wrapped each day
The me
Our lives
A new day dawned
Its just some crazy play

Yet
I wish I had a pound or pence just hanging round to paint
But then I'd be an artist too and not the artists mate
So off I must its 4 am
A poets work tis done
Jan 2019 · 345
Poetry In Motion
andy fardell Jan 2019
I watched as he etched
Blue colours so fine
A face that he painted
All hidden and light
Looking and staring he knew not I write
The man and his drawing
I studied his plight

Looking once more in my study
My itch
I needed to look at his drawing
So rich
The man he did scribble I see not his face
Intriguing my wanting
My look out of place

Now do I approach him
A tap or a smile
The man and his drawing
A wandering while
Do I disturb this master at work
The etch of the finest
Da Vinchi
I errk
Jun 2018 · 386
I Find Thee
andy fardell Jun 2018
Long be the wind
lonely in its tail
shining out the sun
I find thee

Be thy shadows as I lay  
follow in my wake
a winters tale to come
I feel thee

Silence comes
inside
screaming out a gale
longing for your reach
I want thee

This house does creaks
my mind in all
a shudder
To quench this tainted thirst
I need thee
Jun 2018 · 407
Shiver
andy fardell Jun 2018
As the night turned into days and the days turned as black
This yearning never fades
Itching and scratching as I go
Devouring the fever of gold
Thus quenching the thirst yet missing these lips

Behind me lays the abandoned
Milk and Honey for the rich
A place so warm and wanting
A place I shall never seek again
Tis my wanton

The Shiver comes
Only the moonlight darkening to warm me
So I will wait
Till the sun and the moon both rise
So I can love again
Mar 2017 · 1.3k
Daffodil Moon
andy fardell Mar 2017
Can you see them swaying
Under the glowing silver moon
Perfuming the dying embers of a winter near past
Shadowing the frost
Colouring the dead  

Did you hear that sound
Broke in the silence of March
Spring has sprung another life to this world
Small white fluffy clouds
Bouncing along in a sky of green

And in today I too felt the warmth of life
A sun stretching its arms
Glowing my face with it's smile
Showing me a path
Fading away my black
Mar 2017 · 586
The Wait
andy fardell Mar 2017
The world was different back then
And so was I
Wanted words to be spoken
Screamed from a silence
Some crafted in smiles
Many fallen from tears

I've waited with burning hands
And desire
Hidden my thought's
Washed out all my dreams
Knowing this not well
One more look in the mirror

They look tired
Sad
Yet knowingly calm
For there is beauty in this time
Waiting to be found
Waiting to be loved
Sep 2016 · 619
Fallen
andy fardell Sep 2016
As the sun dusts my skin
For it is I that waited
Hoping

Comes the wetness from tides
Fallen are the tears
Wishing

In no effort in given
All wasted in time
Again

I lay in the broken
Heart torn apart
Forever
Sep 2016 · 1.2k
The Slug and My Ghosts
andy fardell Sep 2016
The wailing ghosts  
Laughed at my sadness
Humorous in their intention to weaken me the more
I stayed awake in the earthen hour
Battling the clegg of thy cometh
To tell thee ones tale
  
Wash
They fly through me
Scream me awake
Stolen my wishes
Gone be my dreams  

So becomes the chatter in my head
Weak to the mind
I follow in stumble
Leave all
Comes behind  

It's now I must face them
The slugs chase in I
White trail
Their misfortune
My desolate mind  

The madness is in me
The ghosts have all won
I'm falling to pieces
My heart hears the gun

Bang!
Jul 2016 · 735
Sliding Doors
andy fardell Jul 2016
These now wrinkled hands no longer feel your skin
Lips departed
From eyes that water the deserted dreams of my broken reality
Take my breath away
Steal this heart
For its use is gone
And I am lonely

The page is blank and my stare into the unknown
Turns to silence
Slowly and surely the door slides to a close
Creaking a smile at my sadness
Oh so cold do I shiver
Oh so cold beats my heart
For she was the one
Jul 2016 · 853
Rainbows
andy fardell Jul 2016
I wish I could write a thousand rainbows to your heart
Sing you a million colours from the sky  
kiss away your sadness
As we lay

Wouldnt that be nice
Being so right
From a world full of wrongs
Let me paint you my song

Can you hear what I see
Can you feel
In the you
My love ....
Jun 2016 · 779
You are the One
andy fardell Jun 2016
I'm thirsty
Yet no liquid quenches these forgotton parched tears
Tis the sugar of my soul that seeks its redemption
A wanton pleasure of mind
To waken such lasting slumber

It is you my love that has rejoiced me
Your taste that does me complete
And that warmth
Oh that beautiful warmth
I so so miss

And in this night that become day's
I long for your reach
Come kiss me my choosen
******* salted skin
For I am the waiting
And
You are the one

Let us sleep
May 2016 · 565
The Writing on the Wall
andy fardell May 2016
The clouds outside cried for my sadness
Tears of failure pained upon the ***** window of my heart
Come the granite grey of day
And that's not enough

Silence from the outside
Noise from the in
No more shall these hands touch
No more shall these lips speak

So this will be my last
Bleedeth me
No more
Stay the lonely till I pass
Comes written on the wall
May 2016 · 676
Smile at My Heart
andy fardell May 2016
Forlorn and empty inside
The raging storm leaves only the cold wet tears of time
God knows I tried
So so empty inside
God knows I've tried

Maybe the next world will smile at my heart
Take my arms
Show me another way
Banish my pain
Kiss my broken soul

Till then
Darkness take your feast
Consume me in bitterness
Quench me in your drunken thirst
Death come quickly
Apr 2016 · 573
Remember Me-Well
andy fardell Apr 2016
They said that time would heal
But memories are here
In my heart
And I am bleeding out

Tear upon tear cannot cure me
Hand upon hand
Never calms me
From a raging No inside

Come now
It's only the few that remember
Only the few that recall
A story of life as we live it
Remembrance of how we are small

One's time will come to go join him
A time when nothing is all
Till then I continue this living  
So remember me
Remember me all
Apr 2016 · 590
An Old Freind
andy fardell Apr 2016
How could I not smile
For the sun shone
Leaving raptuous heat upon my spine
Blinding dazzles fell upon my yellowing eyes
Yet
Inside me only darkness lives

It bleeds it's coldness into my thought's
Washes it's bleakened wishes over my mind


My old freind had returned
Apr 2016 · 544
Missing You
andy fardell Apr 2016
Life feels very empty right now
Maybe its the stars shining in this desolate void of blackness
Could it be the silence of my echoes
No
It's the missing of my love

My beautiful is sailing
Therefore my heart sigh's in lonlines
Oh i miss you
Yes I do

Ripped and torn i lay thinking
Hot blows in sadness as I sweat
And my reach scrapes the cold pillow of air
Cos your not here
Yet you are there

Tis I that comes near crying
Tis I that calls your name
Tis I that sadens your silence
Tis I that calls your name

My beautiful
My love
My everything
I love you x
Jan 2016 · 481
The Spell
andy fardell Jan 2016
My wrinkled finger felt weak
Betrayed and lonely
No more movement
No more tomorow

The last tear fell into tracks
Where many had come before
This one felt different
No one was going to stop the fall
No hand
Smile
Or fake promises
The sea parted and the waves spoke
Let me scream

I dived into a silence
Quiet
Lonely
So very cold
And this will be my home
Til the mermaid returns singing
Her spell
Nov 2015 · 803
Remembrance Sunday
andy fardell Nov 2015
Remember

Remember what they fought for
Remember why they fell
Remember all the killings
The living life in hell

Remember what they did for us
Remember who they were
Remember all the people
For us did fight and fall

A day to show our pride
A day to bow our heads
A day to mourn our family
Lest we forget
Nov 2015 · 1.3k
In Agro Belgico ...
andy fardell Nov 2015
Alexis Helmer died a true hero
Like all that became
To save our future
Today I will remember him

It is now our turn
Our responsibility
Our role
To ensure we never need another rondeau

For last night I saw poppies
Fall and float from the sky
Tears from the fallen
Our Remembrance
Nov 2015 · 572
Life
andy fardell Nov 2015
The day was dull
Wet
Aching
That's how I feel too

Could it be so bad
Am I singing sadness
When all is in bloom
Of course

For that's how I see
Read
Feed off the earth around me
Tis how I write

For once I wish I could
Lift my head
Smile at the world
Change my fear

Outside the doting sparrow enters the thicknes of the hedgrow
Bugs gathered
Young waiting
Yearning
To eat the death of another creature
So life goes on
Nov 2015 · 822
Dear Palestine
andy fardell Nov 2015
The elkess
Cowers from the light
All dressed for the feast
Not going nowhere
Yet

Shoot boys shoot
Cos thats an order
We know best
Read our bible

Let me take your land
Feed our lambs
Laughter in slaughter
One day
Your Daughter
Oct 2015 · 719
Eighteen
andy fardell Oct 2015
The sign of a man is not defined by his age
A man is defined
By his love
His compassion
His care

My son is already this man
A real man
Where age and wisdom
Comes flowed in his grace
And I be the honoured

For I am lucky enough to be his father
His friend
To see him grow
Become the man
I love to know

Live out your life son
Live on your dreams
So proud I am
You turn the age
That on this day
Become
EIGHTEEN
Oct 2015 · 554
Waiting Room
andy fardell Oct 2015
Staring across I looked
I mean I really looked
It was them
The sick
The waiting
Their end
A place where the silence in subtle laughter
Fed the gurgling dread

Old amongst the young
Age against time
Eating away
Tempting a finality
Choosing an end

As dead eyes looked on through me      
I felt alive
Awake
Eager in my burst to scare away the dead
The devil smiled
His war was winning
A fate foreboding
The storm had come
Oct 2015 · 603
The Laughing Sun
andy fardell Oct 2015
Effects of an early rise spawned my view
Eager in my need for knowledge
I sprung
Yet worry formed a brow
Concern upon concern quivered me
I had been here before

For then it was to late
Too harsh
All sad
A gone to far
Only tears
For my memory

This time a smile
Be healed
Sorted
Complete
For many moons to pass
Upon the laughing sun
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