A final cough.
The last bit of ***** escapes my lips…
Doesn't matter how much I drink.
Thoughts of you still linger

When I stumble to my car
When I veer towards home
When I finally trip onto my bed…

No matter how far I travel
Your face.. your smile..
Is right behind me.

I can't even give the next one a chance
When your ghost still haunts me..
Seven years later
And I still dream of chasing you.

Only to wake up when there's no hope left
In catching up to you.

And here I lay
Listening to the same
God. ****. song..
Fighting back tears..
For the one person I wish
Was standing next to me tonight
Is most certainly locking lips
Holding on tightly
To someone else
Because they were ready.
They didn't have any shell
To cast off like I do.
They didn't need someone
To give them a hand
And help them up to their feet.
Not a question in my mind
You went to sleep tonight nuzzled
Deep in their chest
Peacefully asleep
Knowing you were loved.

And here I am
Wondering how long
Would it take
For a heart to break
From just enough broken heartstrings.
For I've lost count
As to how many
******* chords were struck
And they all sang
Such a mournful melody
Wishing they were no longer struck
With such promise.
Only to break..
Over... and over again..

It could very well be
The amount of pain I'm in
Tonight.

The shortness of breath..
Struggling to swallow
One more gulp of air.

The flush red complexion
Hinting across my face, chest, and shoulders.
The years of erosion in my eyes.

I see all of this in my reflection,
And yet..
..For a fragmentary moment..

I caught the glimpse of someone I aspire to be.

Every time I think of someone
I think of them dancing.
I think of us dancing together.
And with each one they have their own dance.

I can imagine their excitement,
Their sweet laughter
And how much they are just living
The moment.

If only I knew how to dance
I wouldn't be forced to imagine
What it would be like to see them smile.
If I knew how I would dance all night.

Seems no one can prove me wrong.
And I keep tripping over myself..

Glimmer of hope falsely announces itself
And, of course, my eyes light up at the possibilities..

This time, as always, seems different..
.. As always.. I'm left naked. Vulnerable.

Beautiful surfaces reflecting
The brilliant bright light of day.
Serene landscapes capturing
What may not ever be seen again.

An artist devoted to his work of art.
A lifetime of practice
Stealing
An instant of time in his still life's.

What achievements
They have made
With their craft.
Such a shame

He's only killing himself and others with his masterpieces.

I eat the dead..
I carve up the pieces
I sink my teeth into
What. Once. Was..

Sometimes I hesitate,
But I cannot stop
This hunger that seethes
Deep down inside..

Clawing from within
Demanding I appease
Its voracious needs
And uncontrollable hatred

I've become something
I wish not to be.
No one can have sight
Of this display of submission.

Deep down there is but only one fear..
Never finding my next victim.
Unable to consume their flesh.
Thus I must consume my own.