I have found many
Of whom I remember once envying
I find not the least bit interesting.

Growing up and wishing,
Wanting, yearning to know how
They carried on. Lived.

Comparing myself to everyone
Growing up- I know- is wrong.
For I was never focused on Me.

Now that same focus, finally,
Is without err where it should be.
Until now I couldn't Live.

It took me twenty four years
To understand. I am perfectly
Fine without all the answers.

Simply put, my actions merely reflect yours.
You may not remember, but that isn't important today.

Reaching out to someone only to have them look crossly
Back at you.....                        Now you know.

Let me make it clear I do not mean you any harm.
And I surely don't mean you any help..

I would like to see the day..
The day when I am excited
to wake up in the morning.

When dreams are nothing.
Nothing more
Than simple dreams.

Not an escape.

Until then all I want
Is for the sun to sleep
And never wake up.

-
One word I don't bother using.
Not to imply that it is of no value..
When I do carry it and say it, well
You know I mean it.

He feeds me his food sometimes. Even when he knows good and well I'm not supposed to have any. He gave me his bed to sleep on all day, but I share it with him when he is home. He loves to hold me close at night. Sometimes, if not all the time, I growl at him to stop bothering me to cuddle close to him. A midst my growling he just shushes me and kisses my nose.
      I've finally got him on a routine. I sit at the door and he knows it's time for a walk. I'll walk him as far as he will go. As much as I wanna trot off he insists on a quiet pace. He also likes straight lines.
      When I hear the door being unlocked I will sometimes see if it is him. Being stuck at home all day is boring, so I get all excited when he comes back. I'll nibble at his hands constantly to tell him I love him. And to play. He's good at playing when I can get him to play.
      I guess it is safe to say that without my human I would not be here. And without me he wouldn't be here either.

I woke up with the words
"I need help"
falling out of my mouth.

This is bad.
I know I need help.
Now I really need help.

I am without sanctuary..