I wish there was an easier way of handling it.
To be always tied to a constant current of worry and doubt
provides no time to breathe, relax, and surround myself with
the ones I love.

Because of how I've left myself without a future
I am left stranded. No one to run to. No one to
reach.

Days seem to slip and flick by as they do
on a boring novel. Nothing worth remembering
and nothing really for waiting anxiously for.

The only pieces I remember are the ones that
fell out onto the floor.
I don't think I am even left with a spine anymore
now that I think about it.

I'm almost wishing I could just skip to the end.

It's been a while since I have held you
You haven't changed much.
Still poised as ever, sharp with your words.
You make it quick.

I didn't expect to ever see you again
But I have been thinking about you.

Ever tell someone you love them?
Holding it in not wanting to rush the thought
Let the word appear on its own
Enjoy what you have

Ever hear that they don't think it's going to work out?
You never saw it coming. A blindside.
They've been feeling this way for some time.
And you never even noticed

If you could shed a bit of light
A glimmer of hope
You tell her
"I love you."

Ever have someone cry because you said that?
Gasping for breath
Her voice echoing against the walls
Her sobs reach into you even through the phone.

I know what eternity feels like
When the one you love doesn't want you to love them.
When they break down, upset over letting this happen.
Her cry echos in my head to this day.

It doesn't really change anything.
I can't purge myself of this.
Even if I were to forgive and forget
I strip away all that I am.
Without any of these vices
burns, scars, grudges
I have nothing left.

I have nothing left.
All my life I have let myself
be consumed with what hurts me.
Don't be like me.

Fossils in the mouth
of heaven
They claw their way out.
Leaping from the ledge
Halos around their neck.
Their remains hang
but their screams descend.