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sometimes,
           i wish i'd die
just to prove myself right
 May 2013 Anastasia M
JM
It's only you,
my dearest, my darkest;
it's only your
soft voice I hear
in the small hours.

These lilac bushes breathe
your name and the soil listens,
remembering everything.

It's only a whisper
of rose oil and
amber, of silk and
skin.

Just a whisper.

It's only you
in the small hours.
And a woman who held a babe against her ***** said, "Speak to us of
Children."

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit,
not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you
with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that
is stable.
 May 2013 Anastasia M
Barb
I peeled back the mask and gazed into
the endless portals that made up my eyes
Dipping fingers into the pools of water
cheek bones
piano keys
teeth
self-discovery
The water rolls down my fingers
but I can’t seem to get it off my skin
It clings to me and stings
This water is holy and I am paper thin
A demon lies within
I whisper to myself
A reminder to hold myself at night
but not too tight
do not wake my sin
Crack me open
But gently
I will spill
A pool of galaxies
Infinity
And everything that makes up each and every one of you
Something deeper
Something beautiful
I don't know your winter hats
I don't go to your school
I don't see you from September
To the end of June

But I know how you row a boat
And how you scrape your knees
And we know the best train tracks
For squishing all our pennies

You're the better swimmer
You're the better dancer too
You always win at badminton
(But I win at Taboo)

Share our favorite movies
On those dank and rainy days
That make us feel like thunder
As the skies are set ablaze

I know your mom, I know your dad
I know the dog you used to have
I know the cottage makes me glad
Cause that's where I know you.
 May 2013 Anastasia M
JM
Luna waxes, wanes.
Blood. Water. Our passions tide.
Gravity's death grip.
 May 2013 Anastasia M
JL
Blue Eye
 May 2013 Anastasia M
JL
I have love for you
Rooted in my jawbone

Your secret perfume
Convection heat in a back seat

I want your thin fingers
Tangled in the web of my ribs

I want to lose you
In the honeycombed purple layers of my heart tissue

I will cradle your head on my sternum
Letting my lungs do the work

If only
Your elbows were not so sharp

Then I would crave the dig of your fingernails
Your pastures of hair
The butterfly tremble of your lips

Speechless- words no longer hold the weight
My tongue on the novel curves of your sigh
Tasting the twenty summers of your growth

Trembling due to lack of oxygen
Trembling at the onset of lust

The kneading want of knuckle bones
Drawing me ever closer to the colors of light

Static in the stereo of the
Cerebral cortex

Bunched nerves
Shocked into submission
By your bleached bone canines


Open and breathe
The quick pinch endocrine valves
Releasing steam


Drape me with your skin
Wrap me up in your pulsing warm veins

I bleed blue
On every day of the week

I am deafened
By the rage of your heartbeat

I am stricken dumb
The symphony of your eyelids
Swelling in my chest a familiar lust

The wind from your eyelashes
Could blow us out of this winter
And right into spring

All the days of the year
I bleed blue

The dedication of your palm
On my cheek
Warms me like a leaf in sunlight

Peel me layer from layer
You will find no lies in between the pages

I am your machine
Waiting to be properly lubricated
I cannot wait for our first day under the sun
I can't wait to get you out of the fluorescent lights
Of the Assembly line
We will journey together to forgotten realms
And sleep beneath the strange constellations
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