With tears
And sorrow
A house
Becomes
A funeral home

I'm shaking
And doubting what I once knew
My hearts breaking
Because all I think of is you
I know I should be
As happy as I've ever been
But what you don't see
Is that the Universe owes me something

For some odd reason
This grave aura has consumed me
And I'm wheezing
All I'm trying  to do is breathe
I'm convinced that what's in store for me
Is a lifetime of regret
An eternal heartbreaking
My hands just won't stop shaking

I've been called
Super feminine
In my emotions
And my lack of apprehension
To express them
I don't know what it is
Why people are this way
Why can't it be just be imple enough
For people to feel comfortable to say what they mean?

I've been
Accused of being gay
Felt unmasculine
But for me there's no other way
To go about living
Without saying what I mean
Meaning what I feel
But it seems
People like me are far inbetween
The general population

However, I'll say this
I'm thankful for the time I live in
And for the people I know
For the places I've been
The things I've seen
Because I know this is what matters
And this is what makes me me
I wouldn't change a thing
I wouldn't eliminate a word said to my face
Because I know for a fact
A cold, hard fact
That all these things
All these amazing, wonderous, beautiful
And terrifying, horrific, disgusting
Things are all just pieces of the equation
My equation

After all this time
All this thinking
My head pounding
Throbbing as my heart's sinking
In the crimson seas
Of yours and my inbetween

Are you mine?
Am I yours?
Did I pass the sign?
Or did I arrive too early?
Am I yours?
Are you mine?
Because I can't shake the feeling that I'm running out of time

All the times the clocks ticked
Thoughts of you lift my consciousness
You're some other-worldly being
You're the target I forbid myself to miss
I don't think I'll ever forgive myself
If I somehow manage to **** this up

Don't forget
To check in
On yourself
When things
Disintegrate

I've never dreamt
Of people that I love
So when you ask me if I dreamt about you
I didn't want to tell you yes.

When I was little,
I used to light fireworks
Now I find myself,
Lighting cigarettes
And I'm developing
All of these bad habits
Your tongue is in her mouth
And you take photos
Go away
Happiness is meant for you
I think I'll just stay here.

I* became insane, with long intervals of horrible *sanity.

Finding myself
Imagining you
Doing things
You say your
Doing