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And earth is its own god,
A very confusing thing to wrap our arms around and call home.
I try, but its never worth breaking my back over..
I point the finger at myself once more.

I admire this bird I had once seen..
All shunned to a cage,
but still managing to sing.
It was so hopeful...although most of the day was him staring at himself in a mirror that was placed inside his forever trap.
He was fighting to stay sane.
That bird and I, we aren't so different.

There is a horrible longing tattooed in my mind, for some divine sign.
Some worth.
I feel as though we all look for it.
Its in our curiousity, only to be let down.

Forward ill go...
Just believing in what I believe,
In hopes ill find another who believes in most of the same.
(Note to Self*)
Godspeed Darrion.............Godspeed.
 Oct 2013 Amy Denison
R
shes so tired.
you can see it in her eyes.
and yet she dares to take
college courses and dares to
wear her weird spock ears
to school.

she goes to soccer every day till
6 and still does her homework.
she wakes up at 6 every day and
tries her hardest to get some
sleep at night.

she over thinks (sign of intelligence, right?)
everything and she is kind of a
perfectionist when it comes to school.
shes been slacking with her artwork and
reading but she still drinks green tea everyday.
she just wants to live and to stop being
so afraid of everything.

and her daddy issues slowly get
worse and she shelters herself from
any sort of affection, which is not
okay because she knows that so many
people care for her, right?
dont they?
......

right?

her panic attacks have been getting
worse but she hasnt cut in awhile
and she tries so hard to be
proud but its so hard because
she can barely even breathe
anymore.
 Oct 2013 Amy Denison
Anna Vida
The life of a teenage girl
Is tumultuous.
She lives thirty lives in 7 short years
Combs her hair with a shaky hand
That turns still and calloused as time goes by.
Every year colored with
Black tears from too much mascara
And lipstick on teeth from untamed laughter
And dark circles under eyes from too many late nights
And scars from everything beautiful and ugly that ever touched her.

Her hands are so full
From every boy who ever intertwined his fingers with hers
And left behind whatever he did when he was finally gone.

And the ventricles of her heart; so swollen
She feels as though she may collapse under the weight of her heart.

And written in every vein,
Every capillary,
Every lobe,
Every nerve,
Are all the consuming ways in which she loves all that she loves.

And her stomach is scarred from that churning feeling;
That nauseating, stinging, consuming feeling.
That speeds in and out when she's enveloped by fear,
Or love,
Or hatred,
Or heartache.

And on her skin,
The scent of her family;
The ones bound by blood, and the ones bound by destiny.
The ones who made her strong and taught her to love.

So here's to family:
That chaotic wake up call
That didn't show its light until she realized just how bright it truly shines.
 Oct 2013 Amy Denison
Lizzy
The smell of burnt goodbyes
and strawberries
surrounded her

Battle scars displayed
down her arms
up her legs
across her hips

The smile on her face
didn't match
the blue in her eyes
and the red on her skin

She had lost the war
Her mind turned purple
and it all went black
 Oct 2013 Amy Denison
Lizzy
One day when you're lost
And you do not want to live
Just remember me
 Oct 2013 Amy Denison
Lizzy
We got close.
I liked you.

I told you my story.
I liked you more.

You told me your story.
I loved you.

You got a girlfriend.
You loved her.

I became more depressed.
I smiled for you.

You made me promise.
I promised.

You're just another person I will promise to get better for.
But that really just means that I'll hide it better next time.
I think you know it, you just don't want to say it.
 Oct 2013 Amy Denison
Lizzy
Bracelets on her wrist
             are an unspoken sign
                          she's at it again
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