Ask me what's wrong,
I'll just say I'm fine.
But nothing's fine,
Not even close.
But I can't tell you.
I can't tell anyone.
I felt bad for drowning my pillow,
So I told him,
But right now,
That's the only one I can trust.

I miss the summer.
The hot weather,
The carefree atmosphere.
The smell of flowers,
Mixed with nail polih,
And grilled chicken.

I miss meeting handsome boys who don't speak English,
And watching everyone else kiss him,
Except you.

Though some moments were sad,
Frustrating,
And others were happy,
Carefree,
A cloudless sky,
I miss the summer.

Maybe it's not the events I miss,
Maybe it's not the weather.
I don't miss the season,
Summer.
I miss who I was.

And there she goes.
When will I learn?
Another nice guy,
Who she doesn't deserve.

Once again,
Why am I wrong?
But knowing her,
This won't last long.

algae infested,
they are both as shallow and
as deep as I am.

calm post-winter green
peppers the suburban scene
but I do not rest

It reminds me of:
the green eyes that once smiled,
So I called it love.

And the cold blue eyes
that left me jealous and weak.
he robbed me of spring.

A breath of fresh air in a sea of fumes.
A burst of light in a world layered with darkness.
The hands at my throat are gone.
That choking,
That sinking,
The suffocation has ended.

I'm insecure about a lot of things.
I've got a lack of self-confidence beyond compare.
Never will I ever tell anyone,
Because all they do is remind me of why.

I walked along,
The well lit path,
And sang a little song.

I inhaled the trees,
The flowers,
And the fresh and cool spring breeze.

Soon the sun,
Began to set.
But it wasn't dark,
Completely yet.

And he left me.
In the dark.
Lost and confused to fend for myself.

He left me,
So now I am alone,
Wandering in the dark.

In the early morning hours,
She's tucked in.
Wide awake and dreaming,
Of some place she hasn't been.

In the early morning hours,
She'll count sheep.
Too many thoughts and people,
To distract her from her sleep.

In the early morning hours,
She will sigh.
Questioning existence,
And the never ending 'why.'

You lit the first spark, and that was all it took. I was ready to believe that I was ready for love. I was not.
2. You were the first flame, but I stood too close to the fire and it singed  my insides to the point that I felt like nothing more than ashes. Worthless
3. You unhinged my previous thoughts for awhile, and replaced them with your soft lips and warm eyes.
4. You caught me at a good time and helped me stay there for a couple months, but you grew up, while I remained stationary.
5. I found myself at home in your arms, between the trees, and under the stars.
6. I met you in the midst of a hazy summer and I have yet to decode what it is that you mean to me. But like all lost lovers, we're bound to find ourselves no longer misplaced.

And I could shout it to the world,
And you still wouldn't hear.
I could push you away,
But I'd still want you near.
Foolishly I fall.
I never seem to learn.
Everyone seems happy,
When will it be my turn?

I know I shouldn't feel this way,
I know that you're not good.
But I can't bring myself to say,
Though I know that I should.

I told him I'd come.
I told him I'd be there for him,
unlike how he wasn't there for me.
I feel bad.
Two wrongs don't make a right,
But I  guess he needs to pay,
For how he broke me...
But I was genuinely happy to be able see him again,
And the only person I'm hurting by not coming,
Is myself.

They warned her about him,
But of course,
She didn't hear,
For her mind was elsewhere.

She felt as if she were floating,
Flying high throughout the sky.

Then he cut her down.
And she fell,

Hard and fast,

And all they said was
"I told you so."

But her feelings hadn't melted,
And her spirit hadn't died.
So she went back to him,
To give him another try.

And she flew and flew,
Until he cut her down.

And all they said was:
"I told you so."

You didn't even realize you said it.
And it's fine.
...I guess...
It's little things like that,
That tear me apart inside.
But you didn't realize.
No one does.
It's fine.
...I guess.

I used to always think it was them.
I thought I hadn't done anything wrong.
I believed that they were the ones missing out.

But now I know.
Now I know that it was me *the whole time.

I like you a lot,
And I don't know what to do.
All I know is that,
I'd wish you'd want me, too.

Your eyes sparkle,
And make my heart skip a beat.
Every conversation,
I wish I could repeat.

From being so broken,
This step is a leap,
And when I fall for someone,
I always fall deep.

Advantage and not,
All at the same time,
But I know that I wish,
That you could be mine.

please don't
tell me
that i'm
dreaming
all i ever wanted was to
dream another sunset with you

if i
roll over
when it's
over
i'll take this cali sunrise with me
and wake up with the fondest memories

The cottonwood fell from the skies and covered the grass

Like snow

It smelled fresh and young, like summer

Like you

Like the winter that barely lasted, the snow melted too soon

You were gone too soon


I'll never forget the night I heard.
That
Was the night
It snowed.

You know what I never understood,
Still don't,
And never will?

Why do we try harder on the things we're bad at?
In the end we'll be better...
But imagine everyone trying hard in everything we're actually good at.
We'd all be better.

Okay is less than great

Do we want a world of okay people or great people?




But it's not up to me...
So whatever

i wish i could match words to my feelings
because they can't understand the music
so they can't understand at all

Was it something I did?
Was it something I said?
Cause now boy,
You've got me out of my head.
I don't want to like you,
But I know I still do.
So I'll face the music,
And  keep singing love songs.

It'***** or miss,
And now you know.
You either love me back,
Or let me go.

And sometimes in this crazy maze of life we get misplaced,
and we lose ourselves.

Later they say,
Later.
It gets better,
Trust us.

You said you were sorry.
Then you said it's my fault.
So why should I accept that,
If I know you'll just do it again.
Why should I trust that?
Why should I accept anything less than the truth?

I don't know what I was thinking.
No, don't apologize,
It's not anyone's fault.
Just me...
hoping...


That's all.

And their happiness makes me sad.
I don't want to be 'that one girl who won't just let it go.'
But I can't let it go.

Some problems
are untouchable.

With good intentions,
You mess with it,
And it gets increasingly worse.

You try and try to save it,
but only end up in
a downwards spiral
of insanity.

Somethings are better left alone.

The hardest part of letting go
is knowing that all you can do is watch.
Watch all of your work,
Disappear.
Watch him walk away.

It's liberating,
The truth.

Telling what matters the most,
To those who matter the most.

I was in the dark.
Had myself convinced that I was hopeless.
I guess without a goal to move towards,
There was no point in trying.
I was lost in a sea of confusion,
Blinded by the darkness.
But now I see a light at the end of the tunnel,
And it's not a train.

And you'd tell me everything.
You'd let me in on the deepest, winding secrets of your mind. The dark twisted paths that sometimes dead ended or continued for eternity. You brought me to the places that smelled musty of old memories and to ever going trains of thought.

And you'd tell me everything.
Big things, little things, anything you wanted to,
And I was more than happy to listen.

My friends think it's silly.
They don't get how I feel.
My friends don't believe me.
That this love is real.

My friends think it's silly,
How heartbroken I feel.
My friends don't believe me
That my feelings are real.

They weren't.
I should've listened to my friends.

To make flowers grow,
It takes a little rain.
To heal and get better,
It takes a little pain,
But when it’s always raining,
And you’re always hurt,
You can’t help but feel worthless.

Don't listen to a word I say,
                         The screams all sound the same.
                  Though the truth may vary,
    This ship will carry our bodies,
Safely to shore.

Wide eyes,
Big heart,
Bigger dreams.

Don’t let life,
Just pass you by.
Get your head out the clouds,
Chin up towards the sky.
Don’t sit around crying,
Cause he’s not the one.
Go find someone better.
Yesterday’s done!
So take what’s offered,
And remember to give.
Live to remember,
But remember to live.

The snow has melted.

Why do I feel so cold?

The ideas are there,
I should just follow through,
Because so many routes,
Have lead me to you.
The wheels are turning,
But still I don’t move.
Can I do it?
Oh, how I’m longing to know.
Will I make it?
Oh, how I’m longing to go.

Searching for what isn't obvious.
Everyone has a story,
That they'd like someone to listen to.
Searching...
Looking...
When I look into their eyes,
Who is really looking back?

He has a girlfriend.
I don't know if I should laugh or cry...

it's a terrible thing
when we lose the ones
we need the most.

If only you could tell,
If only you could know.
I call your cell,
But nobody's home.
It is you that I lack.
I miss your presence beside me,
But I know you're up there,
To watch and to guide me.

I listen to loud music,
On full volume.
And I like it.

People ask me how,
Why,
Or what I hear in that yelling.

It's quite simple.
After being so lost, for so long,
Sometimes it takes literal screaming to crack my surface.

So I listen to loud music,
On full volume,
And I like it,
Because I can feel.

i might fall flat out on the pavement
or i might fall head over heels in love with the idea of love

but i've so much to learn
and so much to feel

and i'm both eager and terrified

Like who you're with,
And like who you are.
Make a wish,
On a shooting star.

To achieve your dreams,
Don't push or shove,
Love what you do,
And do what you love.

And I guess we've all just hit a new low.
Rock bottom ain't as deep as it goes.

I like the way you scrunch your face,
When you hit the high notes.
And I like that little hole,
On the right knee of your jeans.
I like those beautiful blue eyes,
That scan the crowd every night.
But most of all,
I love the way that you light up the stage,
And how obvious it is that it's exactly where you belong.

i fluctuate along the boundary of complete control and utter chaos
equations and imagination
the reality opposed to the uncharted territory in my mind

There's something about Luke that draws me in.
Maybe it's his sandy hair,
Or his pale blue eyes,
His bright smile.

Perhaps it's the way that boy plays the guitar,
Or his gentle laugh.
Maybe it's his voice,
And how he reminds me of the summertime.

sometimes i lay awake in the dark
and my mind creeps to the places we've been.

various concert halls,
(both on stage and in the house)
restaurants,
bars,
basements,
attics,
dark.

and i wonder the significance of each.
until i see you.
you and that stupid little grin you make when i say something dumb because i'm nervous to talk to you.
or the way your cheeks light up red like a sunset,
replacing fair skin with blush.
that moment when your eyes found mine and we both glowed.
the luminosity filled the room until the darkness seemed bright.

and just thinking about it,
alone in my room,
i smile a little bit

and i can only hope that you do the same
when your mind creeps
and stumbles upon my face.
that stupid little grin i make when i know that i'm right.
or the way that i know every word to every song
and the way that my eyes light up when i see you walking towards me.
replacing dull eyes with light.

Loving you is a song I've never heard.
I'll try my best to learn the words.