Hey guys!
It's been awhile, but I'm back. I've come to terms with the things that were troubling me. I started a new account but I never really wrote anything good on it...

Well that's all.
I'll be posting here again.

-AMT

Life is like a book,
But you can't go back,
And you can't skip a head.
You can turn the page,
You can twist the plot.
But you can't skip to the end.


You're the author.


*Keep writing.

Together alone,
How could it be?
How does that make sense?
Together alone,
Supporting each other,
For when he breaks your heart.
We are alone,
But we are alone together.

Was it something I did?
Was it something I said?
Cause now boy,
You've got me out of my head.
I don't want to like you,
But I know I still do.
So I'll face the music,
And  keep singing love songs.

It was stupid.
So stupid.

My whole life, I'd been hoping that this dream would come true. Through the toughest of times, I'd tell myself "It's okay, someday..."

But what am I supposed to do now?
Dreams of 'someday' lay shattered on the kitchen counter.
I want to disappear.

Shot down by those who were supposed to support me.

Never once did it cross my mind that they were all lying. Never.

But who are we kidding?
Little girl with a big idea.

And that's all it'll ever be.
*An idea.

They tell her she's an old soul.
Understanding beyond her years.
Her smile is tainted with sadness,
Pillow is stained with tears.

Yes, she's an old soul.
Knows things she was never taught.
She's got this streak of kindness,
The kind that can't be bought.

Seven billion people in this world,
And we pick the ones we can't have.

He'll  hate me if I do,
I'll hate me if I don't.
I am only one person,
Just doing what she won't.

He's thousands of miles away,
Across the ocean.

The planets are light years away from each other.

We make up a tiny little piece of our galaxy,
Which floats amongst many in this vast universe.

And suddenly,
The distance isn't so far.

Dear Future,
Oh! How I wish I knew of your winding secrets.

I'd do anything to know.

Endless nights thinking of my outcome.
Needless to say, I have some questions.
Do I marry someone nice?

Us...me and him...
Please, tell me it works out?

How will I look?
Am I successful?
Please.
Please.
You know the answer, all I've got are questions.
?

And I look forward to the day I will be able to wake up and be whatever I'd like to. When I can be with whoever, whenever, doing whatever we please. I look forward to the day I'll be able to look in the mirror and not worry about what stares back;  to the day where I can chose what I'd like to learn and how I'd like to use it. I simply cannot wait for the day I will wake up and go to sleep feeling happy to be where I am and who I am.

He's out there,
And he's amazing.

And she sat in her bedroom,
And thought about him,
And wrote this poem.

Maybe it's for real,
But we know its a joke.
But they're cute together.

And I don't mind.

So we'll sit.
Watch the 'love,'
Watch the cars,
As they quickly drive by.

Thanks for girls,
Thanks for the guys.
Thanks for everything.
Life’s a surprise.

Thanks for the stars,
That twinkle at night,
Thanks for the comfort,
And thanks for the light.

Space is raining,
The sky is our hood.
So thanks for the bad,
And thanks for the good.

Everyone grows up wanting to be somewhere they're not.
Anywhere but here.
In this town, those who stick around are the ones who succeeded, the ones who gave up, and the ones who never tried.

The sunlight hits him,
Making his dark eyes a warm shade of brown.
His hair's a mess,
Mine is worse.
I don't care.

Because for a split second,
Nothing else matters.

I always like to think that having a boyfriend would make my life better. That all of a sudden, there would be someone to help me through the tough parts of my life...
But in reality, it'd be so much worse because I don't have time for myself, let alone someone else.

Ask me what's wrong,
I'll just say I'm fine.
But nothing's fine,
Not even close.
But I can't tell you.
I can't tell anyone.
I felt bad for drowning my pillow,
So I told him,
But right now,
That's the only one I can trust.

It's me against you.
Head to head.
We both want the same thing,
But only one can win.
We are not pouncing,
We are waiting.
Waiting...
Just waiting...
To see who,
Will surrender first.

I dreamed that I kissed you.
You were as shocked as I was.
"I'm not sorry," I whispered as I walked away.

Didn't go the way I had wanted...
But then again,
What does?

I like you a lot,
And I don't know what to do.
All I know is that,
I'd wish you'd want me, too.

Your eyes sparkle,
And make my heart skip a beat.
Every conversation,
I wish I could repeat.

From being so broken,
This step is a leap,
And when I fall for someone,
I always fall deep.

Advantage and not,
All at the same time,
But I know that I wish,
That you could be mine.

If its not broken,
Don't fix it.
If there isn't a problem,
Don't solve it.
Let life take its course,
Because you can't change the future.

I was in the dark.
Had myself convinced that I was hopeless.
I guess without a goal to move towards,
There was no point in trying.
I was lost in a sea of confusion,
Blinded by the darkness.
But now I see a light at the end of the tunnel,
And it's not a train.

He loves her. He loves her. The words sting. All of the gifts. Everywhere we went. Everything we did. It meant nothing to him. He loves her. He loves her. I don't want to be jealous and I refuse to say it. I can't. Maybe I'm just upset that its really over. I haven't seen him in so long. Even if I do, he loves her.

Breathe. It's over.
Completly, 100% over.
When he looks at you he sees nothing but human. Nothing...
Anymore...



Maybe...



He loves her.
She loves him,
*But so do I?

If you aren't playing fair,
Then why should I?
And besides,
He's the one who called first.

I'm burrying my fears,
For there's no reason to be afraid.
I'm marrying my anger,
I'm dancing in the rain.
I've finally decided,
That I am good enough.
I'm gonna live my dream,
And I'm never waking up.

And there it was again.

As I entered the room, our eyes met, yours icy cold, mine on the edge of tears, and for a moment I thought you knew. I'm not sure what it was... A mixture of disgust, shame, pity, and maybe a bit of understanding. What gave it away? How do you always know exactly what goes one deep within my thoughts?

We'll talk about it tomorrow,
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
Day after day,
The same reply.
And I accept it.
We'll talk about it tomorrow,
Even though we're both well aware that we won't. .

I would never break a promise,
But you,
You’re not me.

"Everyone goes through this,"
They say 'comfortingly.'
Maybe they go through something like this,
But not this.
They don't get it.
No one does.
Sometimes even I don't,
But the burning...
It's changing me.

I want this so bad,
And everything wants so badly to hold me back.

It's awful,
What happened....

It was a normal day.
The sky was blue,
The grass was green.
We woke up,
Brushed our teeth,
Went along with our lives.
Little did we know...
Little did they know.

The worst part is,
It could've been any of us.

And I don't think
I'll ever
fully
understand
how
some girls
can just
throw

it
all





away.

Stone buildings,
Fashion,
Music,
Tea.

I'm on my way.

Later they say,
Later.
It gets better,
Trust us.

You’ve told me the same story,
Over and over.
‘We’re just friends,
Only friends.’
Well the story’s getting old,
And it’s starting to bore.
I should’ve finished it,
Six chapters ago.
So I’ll close the book,
And start a new one.

I like you...
Or at least the you in my head...
I like you...
Not one tear have I shed.
I smile at your picture.
You smile back at me.
Then I remember,
You don't really breathe.
You're not real at all...
You're just a poster on my wall.

I'd like to say it's all complex,
But I know that it's just me.
I just want to fade out.
But I can't bring myself to leave.
I'd like to sleep for my whole life,
But it won't go away.
So **** indecisive
Can't bring myself to stay.

That ten seconds,
That you looked into my eyes.
The whole world stopped.
And everyone else disappeared,
Except us.
Those ten seconds,
Awkward.
But beautiful.
Ten seconds of flying.
Ten seconds of no thought.
And as we turned away,
The thoughts came back,
And we were back on the ground.

If you really hated me that much,
Then why’d you stick around?
If you really liked me that much,
Then why’d you bring me down?

We used to be so close.
Now we’re so far away.
We don’t even talk anymore.
And if we did,
What would we say?

But now it’s clear to see,
How much your hate has grown.
You try to avoid me,
And make sure your message is known.

If you ever really were my friend,
You’d know who I am.
If you ever really were my friend.
You would give a ****.

But you don’t,
And you won’t.
So we’ll sit here in silence,
About ten feet away.
And we’ll sit here in silence,
Because there's nothing left to say.

My friends think it's silly.
They don't get how I feel.
My friends don't believe me.
That this love is real.

My friends think it's silly,
How heartbroken I feel.
My friends don't believe me
That my feelings are real.

They weren't.
I should've listened to my friends.

If only you could tell,
If only you could know.
I call your cell,
But nobody's home.
It is you that I lack.
I miss your presence beside me,
But I know you're up there,
To watch and to guide me.

Please get out of my mind,
For my thoughts feel unsafe,
With you wandering through them.
I don't want to say I feel this way,
And I can't say it,
But I know it's true.

All I ever wanted was to be wanted,
And now I feel more useless than ever.

So thanks for wasting my time,

And no, we can't be friends.

And this feeling- it's a choking sensation. It's this feeling of being held back.
Helplessness.
Trudging through each day, regretfully awaiting the next, I try and I try, but can't seem to care, can't seem to improve.
My opinion is no longer valid and I am no longer allowed to do what I love. I no longer have control.

What I love vs. What I should do

We see what's in the light.
What cowers in pure sight.
We see behind the fog.
We can guess of what lies beneath the curtains,
Of the monsters beneath our beds,
And sleeping in our closets.
What hides within the storm?
We cannot see what we don't know.
We can't see what's lurking in the shadows.
We aren't afraid of the dark,
We're afraid of the unknown.
Don't turn the light off.

*Not tonight

Crowded basement,
Come as strangers,
Leaving as new found friends.

If only everyone would say how they felt...
The world would be a lot better...
Or a lot worse!

She's clueless.
Clueless and empty.
I know it,
She knows it,
We all know it.


*Why doesn't he?