If I died tomorrow,
I'd want my ashes to be spread around the world.
Even though I'm not there,
I could visit the places I wanted to go.

He'a a tornado. He's enchanting to watch, he leaves me dizzy for days, but he blows me away whenever I try to get close.
And he's a hurricane. His impact is powerful, it warns that I hide. But I drown in his eyes whenever I try to speak.

Us together feels natural.

*Us together is a disaster.

Trillions of miles away,
There are millions of other galaxies,
Billions of planets.

I like this...
Makes my problems seem extremely small.

I fell for a predator,
I was the prey.
I was head over heels,
But now I’m done with your game.
You’ve had your fun,
But now I am through.
But 4 words will bring me back,
And those words are ‘I love you, too.’
So I would like to thank you,
For breaking my heart.
Because now both of us,
Have a fresh start.
So now you are free,
To be with whoever,
But I know I’ll still,
Love you forever.

And I can't fight it.
I know how I feel, but never would I say it.
I,
I can't.
But I care about him.
Truly,
Deeply,
Care.
And her?
She wants a hand to hold,
An arm for her shoulder,
And open arms for her embraces.
And he cares for her.
Truly,
Deeply,
Cares.

And so do I,
But differently.
She's his,
He's hers,
She's my best friend,
And I want him to be mine.

The classic story that ends in two friends agreeing to never fight over guys.
So we won't fight over guys,
*But how can I fight how I feel?

I don't know what I was thinking.
No, don't apologize,
It's not anyone's fault.
Just me...
hoping...


That's all.

My head is spinning round and round,
My heart is beating fast.
Waiting for some closure,
To finally come at last.
I'm nauseous from your roller coaster,
I want the ride to stop.
Just as we go down a hill,
We climb back to the top.
This never-ending roller coaster,
That you put me through,
Isn't going to stop,
'Till I get over you.

So there I was,
Not knowing what to do,
Upset that I'd,
Never see you.
Scrolling through pictures,
In the background you sit.
Glancing at my phone,
Can't stop smiling at it.
I thought we were over,
I thought we were through.
I thought that I'd,
Never see you.
But there's still hope,
For you and me,
I just need to find time,
To wait and see.

Eleven turns to midnight.
Midnight morphs into one,
One to two.

Two becomes 3, who is swallowed by 4.

If only my brain would shut up.

You know something’s wrong,
When the only song,
Is a sad one,
Full blast on repeat.
You know something’s wrong,
When your only happiness,
Is at the times,
You are asleep

You know what I never understood,
Still don't,
And never will?

Why do we try harder on the things we're bad at?
In the end we'll be better...
But imagine everyone trying hard in everything we're actually good at.
We'd all be better.

Okay is less than great

Do we want a world of okay people or great people?




But it's not up to me...
So whatever

I said I’d pay.
I said I’d handle it.
All of it!
So why can’t I go?!
I’m not asking if you will,
No, I am asking if I can.

We all want someone who will kiss our flaws away,
And fix us,
But that doesn't exist,
Because how could someone love you,
When you can't even love yourself?

As we danced tonight,
I felt unsure,
About how I felt,
And how things were.
I don’t want to dive in headfirst again,
For I know that we’ll end up awkwardly ‘friends.’
So much to do,
So much to rehearse,
Maybe I should just dip my toes in first.

And all I can do is think about you.
AlI can do is dream.
All of the calls, that I didn’t let through.
And all that I say, I don’t mean.

You've made me angry,
You've made me sad.
You've made me happy,
You've made me mad.
You've made me jealous,
You've made me blue,
You've made me think,
So much about you.

I've made you happy,
I've made you sad.
I've let you down,
I've made you glad.  
I've made you strong,
I've made you weak,
I've witnessed your lowest,
I've witnessed your peak.

You've made me feel,
All of the above, too,
But most of all,
You've made me love you.

You've broke my heart,
I've heard you lie,
We've said hello,
Now say good bye.

i wish i could match words to my feelings
because they can't understand the music
so they can't understand at all

A lot of things I should've done,
More that I wish I hadn't,
But tomorrow's a new day.
It's never too late to turn the page.
Never too late,
To change your ways.
So put your head up,
And do as you should.
Cause it's a new dawn,
It's new day,
It's a new life,
And I'm feeling good.

Like who you're with,
And like who you are.
Make a wish,
On a shooting star.

To achieve your dreams,
Don't push or shove,
Love what you do,
And do what you love.

I'd go out of this world for you.
I'd chase you through the stars.
Though they seem so very close,
They really are quite far.

I'd walk with you through galaxies.
Through lands we've never seen.
Places where the grass is blue,
And where the sky is green.

We'd roam around the universe.
'Together,' we would pledge.
Anything for you, my dear,
I'd follow passed the edge.

She accepts the love she thinks she deserves,
I'll sit down and wait because I'm not really sure.

I wish that I could just TALK to him, that I could just walk right over and let the words run out of my mouth and into his thoughts.
I wish that he would just TALK to me; that our conversations could be captivating and not ending at hello.

Sighs because everything is too quiet.
How I miss the feeling of feeling.

I will not kiss up to you.
I will not do what you want me to.
I will never ever come back.
I promised that I wouldn't do that.
And I'll pretend the feelings aren't there,
Cause I know that I shouldn't care.
I remember sleepless nights,
I remember all the fights.
You expect me to be at your door,
I will not do that anymore.

My heart says yes,
My head says no.
My head says stop,
My heart says go.
I know who you want.
I know it's not me.
So what the hell,
Do I think I see?
It makes no sense,
And my head says no.
My heart says yes,
Don't know where to go.

Don’t let life,
Just pass you by.
Get your head out the clouds,
Chin up towards the sky.
Don’t sit around crying,
Cause he’s not the one.
Go find someone better.
Yesterday’s done!
So take what’s offered,
And remember to give.
Live to remember,
But remember to live.

I'm all done.
So why aren't I glad?
No more work.
Why am I sad?
I'm not gonna miss it,
That I can guarantee,
And I turned in my hardest...
So what's wrong with me?

Good for you...
Good for him, too...
Not good for me,
But that's okay...
It's not like my feelings ever mattered.
Go,
Have fun.
At least one of us can be happy...

My ears are constantly ringing.
It's my mind,
Trying to match a sound to this awful silence.

They're out there.
I know it...
You just have to wait,
As they've been waiting for you.
They don't know you exist.
They know you're there,
But they don't know you....yet.
I like to take action,
And I hate how this time,
I just have to sit back,
Live life,
And let nature do its thing.

She cries cause she didn't make the shots.
I cry cause I didn't take the shots.
She scored,
I didn't.
You win.
I lose.
...Always.

Monday, February 27, 2012
I just wanted to say to everyone to please stop bullying. Today in a town not so far from mine, a boy was bullied so much that he brought a gun to school and shot five people. 2 are dead, 3 are injured. Please stop bullying people! It's not cool, it's not funny, it's not anything that could possibly be good! Not only does that person feel the pain, but just as what happened today, others feel it too. It's not fair that a person was bullied and 2 people had to die for it. So all I can say is please, please, please stop bullying!

Chardon, you are in our thoughts and prayers.

I told him I'd come.
I told him I'd be there for him,
unlike how he wasn't there for me.
I feel bad.
Two wrongs don't make a right,
But I  guess he needs to pay,
For how he broke me...
But I was genuinely happy to be able see him again,
And the only person I'm hurting by not coming,
Is myself.

Why do I even come back to you,
When all you bring me is pain?
Why do I even think of you,
When all you do is make me insane?
Your love is like poison,
And I think I’m addicted.
Your heart is like gold,
But for me it’s restricted.
Why do I even talk to you,
When all you do is talk about her?
Why did I even fall for you,
I thought I knew for sure.
Your love is like an ocean,
And I think that I’m drowning.
You don’t even know,
How it’s your fault I’m frowning.
But I’ll keep coming back,
Until the last words are spoken.
Yes, I’ll keep coming back,
Until my heart is all broken.

I know I'm young,
And I know I make mistakes,
But I didn't ask you what I should have done
I asked you how to fix this.

i walk the woods behind my house
and though you no longer walk them with me,
i feel you there.
and though half of our memories are gone,
replaced with a daycare center and a parking lot,
they still exist in my mind.
and in my subconscious,
you're still here.

Kiss my grandfather’s picture,
Turn out the light,
The tears begin to fall,
12, the clock strikes.
Goodnight.
…..Yeah right.

Questioning your motives.
Dying to get rid of me?
It's working.

I saw myself fall,
Fall for you all over again.
I was so happy.
We were so happy.
But I'd never admit that in real life.
Never!
On the surface I hate your guts,
But really I like you...
A lot.
I know I love the you I saw in my dream,
But truthfully,
I haven’t seen the real you in months.



*And I hate that.

On the outside,
I fake to look tough.
I tried my hardest,
And it wasn't enough.
When will someone finally see,
What all of their comments,
Do to me.

"Your hair looks frizzy,"
I woke up at 6 in the morning to do it.

Not played in a game,
I'm the only one who showed up to practice.

B on my math homework,
Spent all weekend doing it.

On the outside I fake tough,
To hide the tears of not being good enough.

I had another dream about you,
First one in a while.
I was pleasantly surprised,
Because it made me smile.
I'm not sure where we were,
Or who we were with.
Not sure if you mentioned her,
But we were happy,
*And we were together.

And here I am again...
Been here so many times.
Why did I think you'd care?
Why did I think you'd pick me over her?

Is it because she's prettier?
Pretty...and shallow
No depth.

So yes,
Sure she's pretty.
So pretty, but so empty.

I need to leave.
I need to go somewhere the helps me,
Not hurts me.

I need to push.
I need to get myself out there and be seen,
Not ignored.

Something needs to happen,
I hope you can understand.

He's 99 days away.
2397 hours.
So close.

Not everyone's going to like you,
Agree with you,
Or support you.
Not everyone's going to accept you,
Love you,
Or trust you.
So surround yourself with those who do.

You.
You bring me so much happiness.
I smile when you glance at me.
I smile when I dream about what we could've had.

You.
You bring me so much pain.
I hate it when I glance at you.
I dream about what we don't have.


I love you
I hate you
I love you,
I love you



He loves me,
He loves me not,
He loves me,
He loves me not.
*He loves me not.

It bothers me.
You think I’m so simple.
So young, so innocent...
So....Clueless!
But I’m not.
I have felt heartbreak,
I have felt pain.
I’ve felt what it’s like,
To live in the rain.
I know what love is,
And I’ve said a ‘bad’ word.
I’m not so little anymore.
And I think it’s time you heard.

Hey guys!
It's been awhile, but I'm back. I've come to terms with the things that were troubling me. I started a new account but I never really wrote anything good on it...

Well that's all.
I'll be posting here again.

-AMT

And you'd tell me everything.
You'd let me in on the deepest, winding secrets of your mind. The dark twisted paths that sometimes dead ended or continued for eternity. You brought me to the places that smelled musty of old memories and to ever going trains of thought.

And you'd tell me everything.
Big things, little things, anything you wanted to,
And I was more than happy to listen.

Together alone,
How could it be?
How does that make sense?
Together alone,
Supporting each other,
For when he breaks your heart.
We are alone,
But we are alone together.