I don't mind being alone on Valentines Day.
I can't be bothered.
Besides,
If it's really love,
It won't matter what day it is.

Call it what you want,
But I wouldn't consider us as 'friends.'

Often people with addictions face relapses.
Turn around,
To end up right back where they started.
Well I'm not addicted,
But everytime I convince myself not to love you,
I look into your eyes,
And there I am.
Right back at the start.
*If only you felt the same way about me.

I know we’d just met,
I know I shouldn’t have trusted you.
But I did.
And I let myself fall...
All over again.

I know we’d just met,
I know I shouldn’t have believed you,
But I did.
And you never showed up...
And I fell.
All over again.

Broken glass heart,
Shatters on the pavement,
Because the ones we love,
Aren't as perfect as they seem.

I can't seem to find words to describe how I feel anymore. I just can't do it any longer. All they do is want and ask, but I've got nothing left to give.

You call me up.
It's like a broken record.
You say that your heart hurts,
Cause you can't get over him getting over you.

February,
The hardest month,
Approaches a close.

Did I tell anyone?
Yes.
Did they care?
No.

For some strange reason,
I always feel like everything would be better,
If you were still here.

And the spark turns to a flame.
It grows.
Hotter and hotter.

Setting this room ablaze.

The whole sky will be black.
BlackAndRed.
And soon smoke will rise,
Up,
Into the atmosphere.

And nothing,
Nothing
Can contain this passion,
This desire,
This conflagration,
This fire!

Nothing can put out the flames,
Deep,
Deep
Deep
Deep
Within.

I like him.
He likes her.
Happily ever after,
But I get burned.

It *****
A lot.
But its just a couple more weeks now.
We're gonna be just fine.

And the glass.
It has broken.
Shattered.

The pieces lie helplessly undone,
On the floor.

You can't ever fully put it back together.
Sure you can glue the big parts to each other.
You can paint over the cracks,
And you can attempt to fill in the holes,
But it will never be the same.

And maybe you'll cut yourself as you clean up the mess.
Maybe a shard will slip into your delicate little finger.
But you will heal.
You will...

And whenever it gets tough,
Just remind yourself that we're one day closer,
To it all being over.

"I'd be more of a morning person,
If I got to wake up next to you."
Instead of slapping my alarm until it shuts up,
And dragging myself into the shower,
I'd roll over,
And look into your eyes.
Just laying there...
Staring and forgetting the rest of the world.
You'd smile and say "Good morning!"
Yes... A very good morning.

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZZZ!
I roll over to state at my pillow.
"One day..." I say as I hit my alarm clock until the buzzing stops.
I hop out of bed and trudge into the bathroom
I study myself in the mirror.
Frizzy hair...
Plain pajamas...
I continue to stare.
"...Good morning..." I say to my reflection.

11,958,000 people affected yearly,
In the USA alone.
46 children a day,
Who may never return home.

Sons and daughters,
Mothers and fathers.

*We need to cure it

Wasting my time?
That's what you call this?
It's poetry!
It's self expression!
It's what I do when I'm not allowed to come right out and say it!
It's my escape!
It's my escape from you
Because you'll never read this,
Cause it's just a 'waste of time.'
Maybe there are 'more important things,'
Yeah... To you!
But this is my life!
It's how I've gotten things off my chest for years.
And I'm not about to stop now!

I want to know your inner self.
I see you from a far.
I want to know how you really feel.
Want to know who you are.

On the outside you're fake-happy,
But I know you really aren't.
I want to know you truly.
Want to know what's in your heart.

People say you're rude,
But I know that you're kind.
I really want to know you,
Know what's on your mind.

I really care about you,
And I hope you know.
I really want to see,
The parts that you don't show.

The sun sets,
Another day past,
I can finally close my eyes,
At last!
One day I will fall,
Or I'll go down some way,
And I can just pray,
That today's not that day.

And finally the clouds are clearing up
When I wake up maybe I'll be strong and I'll
Just look around and scream that I know I am so enough
Those days of rain are finally paying off

And I want that message to be from you.
Even though you and I are from two different worlds,
Even though I'm going to say no,
I want to be wanted.

I want what I can't have.

Should I write it in a letter?
Must I sing it in a song.
Because I think I liked you better,
Before we grew so strong.

Should I write it on my forehead,
Is there something I can do?
Perhaps I should just say the words that start with
I love you.

I let somebody know,
But they weren't who they're supposed to be.
So now you can't ever get close to me.
I'll push you away.

Singing is my way out.
It's like breathing.
It's natural to me.
I know I'll never make it big,
But I can't stand not trying.
You just have no idea how much I want this.
It's killing me.

This isn't fair.
You use to call me your caterpillar.
But I've grown up, so let me fly.

I don't sleep at night.
I'm stuck on a one way street to failure,
And I stay up wondering, how can I turn this around?

*How can I turn this around.

Can’t turn my back,
Can’t look away.
Can’t take a break,
Because today could be my day.
Can’t ever give up,
Can’t turn around.
Can’t look to the sky,
Or look to the ground.
Can’t catch my breath,
And can’t waste time crying,
Cause life is too short,
So take your time flying.

One hundred and thirty one days.
Feels so long,
But short compared to how long I've waited...
131 days until I see you for real.

We were inseparable.
We were one and the same.
But we weren't careful.
So who should we blame?

And we wake up,
Saying 'It will work out.' 'Somehow,' 'Surly!'
At the end of the day,
We both know this isn't working.

We're drifting apart.
We bring out the worst in each other.
We know it's not smart,
To be around each other.
It's dangerous,
It's war.
But I know,
For sure.
We're drifting,
Apart.

I'm still me,
But now I'm improved.
I'm still be,
The girl you always knew.
But now I'm better.
I'm nicer.
I'm less judgmental.
I am forgiving,
And I apologize.
I'm sorry for wronging you in the past.
But I've finally turned the page,
At last.
I'll forgive you,
For whatever you've done.
Because tomorrow it will still,
Be a rising sun.
I've grown up a little more,
I'm ready to see,
What this world has in store.

All is paper thin
These temporary feelings
Nothing built to last

I walked along,
The well lit path,
And sang a little song.

I inhaled the trees,
The flowers,
And the fresh and cool spring breeze.

Soon the sun,
Began to set.
But it wasn't dark,
Completely yet.

And he left me.
In the dark.
Lost and confused to fend for myself.

He left me,
So now I am alone,
Wandering in the dark.

Poetry and music...
A window into someone else's soul.

I tried to be more open.
All I wanted was someone to understand,
But I always pushed people away.
So I tried to open up.

As a result I've only further broken my heart,
And now have reason to keep others out.


*It's been 13 days of this new year,
And all I want is to disappear.

The snow has melted.

Why do I feel so cold?

This town is suffocating me.*
Words that are heard more often than not,
Never felt so real.

Number 1:
He's got beautiful dimples and the most wonderful smile I've ever seen... Like, ever. Library guy. Talked to him for like 5 minutes, but I'd relive those 5 little minutes any day. I don't really know him, but I'd like to get to know him. Only problem is that we never seem to be in the same place at the same time.

Number 2:
We are so alike. It's almost scary! We're into the same kind of things and seem to get each other. We tried and it didn't really work, but I believe that the feelings are still there. Only problem is that  he's got a girlfriend and he's head over heels for her.

Number 3:
We've known each other for like.. Ever. I've always liked him. Through every little crush, every little fling, I've never stopped thinking about him. He's beautiful. Drop.Dead.Gorgeous. He's smart. He's talented. But all he wants is to be popular and he often loses himself. Only problem is that everyone else feels the same way about him.

Which problem would I like to solve?

And we all just wanna grow up.
And we all just wanna act tough.
Because we think that if we grow,
Our problems will soon go,
But little did we know,
Little did we know.

This time it will work out.
This time it's different.
This time it's special.
She said,
every,
time.

And there she goes.
When will I learn?
Another nice guy,
Who she doesn't deserve.

Once again,
Why am I wrong?
But knowing her,
This won't last long.

The distance between us,
Is very large.
Not by walking,
Not by car.

And I'd travel the distance,
You know I would.
I'd travel the distance,
If I could.

But you're so far away,
Doing great things,
I know...
While I sat in my bedroom,
And wrote this poem.

The winter months approach,
The sun has given up,
For our cold hearts freeze the light in others.

We hide indoors,
And beneath layers and layers of coats.
Blankets wrap us in the last bits of hope,
That for some odd reason,
We continue to cling to.

The floor has given up,
The walls are caving in.

The crack grows larger.

We will fall.

But surely in the spring,
We shall all bounce back,
But for now,
It's too cold outside for angels to fly.

I was hanging on to something,
That wasn't really there.
It caused unnecessary pain,
That I could no longer bare.
So I let go of you,
As you did to me.
Our relationship was not functional,
Something I didn't see.
When ever you came to mind,
I used to feel pained,
But there's nothing I've lost,
And nothing I've gained.

It's not a big deal unless you make it one.
You can get out of things if you pack up and run.
But just cause you're gone doesn't mean this is done.

Grew up on a cloud of confusion.
We grew up far too soon.

Days of simplicity,
Now nothing more than a thought..

The fog is thick,
And it feels like forever.


All we have left are the memories.

I like him,
He likes her,
She likes him.

I should just get out of the way...

And I pushed them all away,
So they wouldn't see my face,
While I cried.
Because words they had to say,
Have just gotten in the way,
So I'm 'fine.'

The snow starts to fall,
But does not yet stick.
The air smells of frigid,
And my coat becomes thick.
The delicate snowflakes,
Always a charm.
It's getting cold.
And I need your warm arms.

Surrounded by family and friends.
Nothing to do,
Nowhere to go,
Peace.

Breathe
The weekly suffocation is over...
Well not over,
But paused.

Breathe
Savor it,
Enjoy it.
In a week and a half,
My everyday craziness will resume.

But for now,
I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

I've come to terms with a few things:

Sometimes life *****.
Sometimes life is unfair.
Sometimes isn't forever.

I miss your smile,
I miss your smell.
I miss the secrets,
You'd never tell.
I miss the days,
You would read me books,
But before I knew it,
I was reading them to you.
And then you were gone,
And I couldn't make it through.
Now I look at your picture,
And remember the fun.
Wishing you could be here,
To see what I've done.

Tea is hot,
Mouth is young;
Full of haste,
Small burnt tongue.
Old wounds heal,
But you will reopen;
Built fortification,
Only to be broken.

If I died tomorrow,
I'd want my ashes to be spread around the world.
Even though I'm not there,
I could visit the places I wanted to go.