My whole world was falling apart.
Homework,
Theater,
Track...
Everything.

Then he smiled,
And for a second,
It was all okay.

I like you.
Or at least I like who I am when I'm with you.
When I look into your eyes,
I'm on a different planet.
I've always liked you...
Even before everyone else did.
I still do...
And I don't know if its worse if you know,
Or worse if you don't.

Heart is heavy.
Just want to sleep.
Don't want my alarm clock,
To shout its morning beep.
Why can't I be like Sleeping Beauty?
Sleeping her life away,
And then when she does wake up,
A handsome prince awaits.  
But what if she didn't love him?
That would be quite the plot twist.
What if she didn't like him?
Cause things that perfect don't exsist.

She cries cause she didn't make the shots.
I cry cause I didn't take the shots.
She scored,
I didn't.
You win.
I lose.
...Always.

So there I was,
Not knowing what to do,
Upset that I'd,
Never see you.
Scrolling through pictures,
In the background you sit.
Glancing at my phone,
Can't stop smiling at it.
I thought we were over,
I thought we were through.
I thought that I'd,
Never see you.
But there's still hope,
For you and me,
I just need to find time,
To wait and see.

Living in a bubble.
Unaware.
Laughing at everything,
Singing every chance she gets.
Handles things nicely,
But cracks under pressure.
Loves music.
But usually she's her own audience.
No one believes in her,
For her dreams aren't easy to reach.
She's not the best.
She's not the worst.
She isn't right.
She isn't wrong.
She isn't pretty.
She isn't ugly.
She's more than meets the eye.
She's concussion prone,
And she likes to run.
She couldn't cook if her life depended on it.
Fear doesn't knock her down,
But it shakes her.
She hasn't a clue what to do,
If accidents occur,
But she is me,
And I am her.

It's a cold and lonely world.
People can get lost.
Crazy things can happen,
Some at quite the cost.
People can be influenced,
Doing things they don't want to.
We can get confused,
Thinking wrong's right thing to do.
7 billion people.
It's easy to just exsist.
But I want more than that.
Instead, I want to live.

Have you ever wanted something,
So bad,
That you dream about it every night?
It makes you so happy,
And so sad to think about.
It won't be easy.
The forces that hold you back,
Aren't going to let go.
They're like a brick wall,
But still,
You continue to ****** yourself at them,
Closer to your dream.
Whether I tip-toe closer,
Or I am thrown backwards.
I don't want it,
I need it.
I'm not a wanter,
I'm a dreamer .
*What are you?

I want to know your inner self.
I see you from a far.
I want to know how you really feel.
Want to know who you are.

On the outside you're fake-happy,
But I know you really aren't.
I want to know you truly.
Want to know what's in your heart.

People say you're rude,
But I know that you're kind.
I really want to know you,
Know what's on your mind.

I really care about you,
And I hope you know.
I really want to see,
The parts that you don't show.

Sometimes,
Turning the page is just what I need.
Sometimes,
It's best to sit back and let others lead.
Sometimes,
Getting lost is really good to do.
And sometimes,
It's best to just start over new.

It's awkward.
Or maybe it's just me.
I don't want you to know.
No, not yet.

I can't sacrifice the time I don't have.
And I can't give you what I haven't got.
But I'm not gonna tell you a lie...
Because I like you a lot.
I have all along,
And if only you knew.
All of those years,
That I faked hating you.
A mask.

Often people with addictions face relapses.
Turn around,
To end up right back where they started.
Well I'm not addicted,
But everytime I convince myself not to love you,
I look into your eyes,
And there I am.
Right back at the start.
*If only you felt the same way about me.

I miss the summer.
The hot weather,
The carefree atmosphere.
The smell of flowers,
Mixed with nail polih,
And grilled chicken.

I miss meeting handsome boys who don't speak English,
And watching everyone else kiss him,
Except you.

Though some moments were sad,
Frustrating,
And others were happy,
Carefree,
A cloudless sky,
I miss the summer.

Maybe it's not the events I miss,
Maybe it's not the weather.
I don't miss the season,
Summer.
I miss who I was.

That ten seconds,
That you looked into my eyes.
The whole world stopped.
And everyone else disappeared,
Except us.
Those ten seconds,
Awkward.
But beautiful.
Ten seconds of flying.
Ten seconds of no thought.
And as we turned away,
The thoughts came back,
And we were back on the ground.

I'm losing things,
I'm falling over air.
Forgetting my books,
Forgetting to care.
Getting sick,
From all the rain.
Losing focus,
You're dancing on my brain.

I'm burrying my fears,
For there's no reason to be afraid.
I'm marrying my anger,
I'm dancing in the rain.
I've finally decided,
That I am good enough.
I'm gonna live my dream,
And I'm never waking up.

I'm still me,
But now I'm improved.
I'm still be,
The girl you always knew.
But now I'm better.
I'm nicer.
I'm less judgmental.
I am forgiving,
And I apologize.
I'm sorry for wronging you in the past.
But I've finally turned the page,
At last.
I'll forgive you,
For whatever you've done.
Because tomorrow it will still,
Be a rising sun.
I've grown up a little more,
I'm ready to see,
What this world has in store.

A lot of things I should've done,
More that I wish I hadn't,
But tomorrow's a new day.
It's never too late to turn the page.
Never too late,
To change your ways.
So put your head up,
And do as you should.
Cause it's a new dawn,
It's new day,
It's a new life,
And I'm feeling good.

My heart says yes,
My head says no.
My head says stop,
My heart says go.
I know who you want.
I know it's not me.
So what the hell,
Do I think I see?
It makes no sense,
And my head says no.
My heart says yes,
Don't know where to go.

I like you a lot,
And I don't know what to do.
All I know is that,
I'd wish you'd want me, too.

Your eyes sparkle,
And make my heart skip a beat.
Every conversation,
I wish I could repeat.

From being so broken,
This step is a leap,
And when I fall for someone,
I always fall deep.

Advantage and not,
All at the same time,
But I know that I wish,
That you could be mine.

Whenever I see him I blush,
And to talk to him I'd rush.
But all the girls like him, too,
So my dreams go flush.
He doesn't even know,
Cause it's more than a crush.

We all tried to say he was bad.
We all thought he was mad.
We were wrong,
And I'm finally accepting that.

I've always felt this way,
But never wanted to say.
But I like how I feel when I'm with him,
And I'm finally accepting that.

You didn't even realize you said it.
And it's fine.
...I guess...
It's little things like that,
That tear me apart inside.
But you didn't realize.
No one does.
It's fine.
...I guess.

I'm a time bomb,
But I don't know when I'll explode.
I could tell you everything,
And you'd never truly know.

I'm the secrets I'll always keep.
I'm the gap between my teeth.
I'm the branch that's always out of place.
I'm the purple eyeliner,
Running down my face.

I'm my best friend,
And my worst enemy.
I am nobody else,
Except me.

11,958,000 people affected yearly,
In the USA alone.
46 children a day,
Who may never return home.

Sons and daughters,
Mothers and fathers.

*We need to cure it

They warned her about him,
But of course,
She didn't hear,
For her mind was elsewhere.

She felt as if she were floating,
Flying high throughout the sky.

Then he cut her down.
And she fell,

Hard and fast,

And all they said was
"I told you so."

But her feelings hadn't melted,
And her spirit hadn't died.
So she went back to him,
To give him another try.

And she flew and flew,
Until he cut her down.

And all they said was:
"I told you so."

It's me against you.
Head to head.
We both want the same thing,
But only one can win.
We are not pouncing,
We are waiting.
Waiting...
Just waiting...
To see who,
Will surrender first.

Go on,
Side with her.
You always do...
Everyone does.
She could do the wrongest thing,
And somehow it's always my fault.
So go on,
Side with her,
And when I quit,
It'll be too late,
To be on my side.

On the outside,
I fake to look tough.
I tried my hardest,
And it wasn't enough.
When will someone finally see,
What all of their comments,
Do to me.

"Your hair looks frizzy,"
I woke up at 6 in the morning to do it.

Not played in a game,
I'm the only one who showed up to practice.

B on my math homework,
Spent all weekend doing it.

On the outside I fake tough,
To hide the tears of not being good enough.

I'm floating in the background,
Fading in the shadows.
I'm everyone's back up plan.
But when will it be my turn,
to step out of the darkness?
I put all of my effort,
but what for?
It's never good enough.
*I'm never good enough

He plays the piano skillfully.
Not many people know.
His friends do not approve,
So he let it go.

She used to write songs.
But she would never share.
She kept them all a secret,
Cause she thought no one would care.

So they locked them in a dungeon.
Far, far away.
And their secret talents,
Never saw the light of day.

Someone told us we weren't good enough,
*And we believed them.

"The perfect couple,"
Everyone would say,
As they saw us together,
Day by day.
"They'll never break up,"
Everyone would insist...
If only he knew,
That I exsist.

All of the right guys fall for the wrong girls,
For the wrong reasons.
What am I doing wrong?

I like you...
Or at least the you in my head...
I like you...
Not one tear have I shed.
I smile at your picture.
You smile back at me.
Then I remember,
You don't really breathe.
You're not real at all...
You're just a poster on my wall.

Carefree clothing,
Nowhere to be.
Long hair flowing,
Just being me.
Writing poems in the sand,
To be taken by the tide,
Getting a tan,
In for the ride.
Summer,
It's my favorite season.
Summer,
For all of those reasons.
Summer.
Just sitting with my friends,
Summer,
Why does it have to end?

Why are my dreams unreachable?
And everything to learn's unteachable?
What I want I can't get,
And I can't even try yet!
You always tell me to organize my time,
But number one on your list,
Is different than mine.
"What happens to a dream deferred,
does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?"
Yes I think,
If that means the dream is done.

I know I'm young,
And I know I make mistakes,
But I didn't ask you what I should have done
I asked you how to fix this.

Nobody seems to know,
The sadness I undergo.
And no one wants to help,
When everything I touch explodes.
I feel so worthless.
So hopeless,
So helpless,
As she complains about the life I wish I had.

The distance between us,
Is very large.
Not by walking,
Not by car.

And I'd travel the distance,
You know I would.
I'd travel the distance,
If I could.

But you're so far away,
Doing great things,
I know...
While I sat in my bedroom,
And wrote this poem.

I'm all done.
So why aren't I glad?
No more work.
Why am I sad?
I'm not gonna miss it,
That I can guarantee,
And I turned in my hardest...
So what's wrong with me?

Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why are my dreams highly unlikely?
Why are these questions unanswered?

I'm pushing myself,
Farther than I should.
I'm about to go over the edge.
*I'm taking you with me

Good for you...
Good for him, too...
Not good for me,
But that's okay...
It's not like my feelings ever mattered.
Go,
Have fun.
At least one of us can be happy...

Watching,
Waiting,
Awkwardly in the background.
My friends flirt the night away.
Sure,
I'll dance a little,
I'll talk,
But I don't know these guys...
At all.
But there's no point in warning them,
They're too headstrong.
So I sit and watch as my friends break their own hearts.

The sun sets,
Another day past,
I can finally close my eyes,
At last!
One day I will fall,
Or I'll go down some way,
And I can just pray,
That today's not that day.

Torn are my muscles,
Torn is my heart.
Torn is my life,
I'm falling apart.

Ask me what's wrong,
I'll just say I'm fine.
But nothing's fine,
Not even close.
But I can't tell you.
I can't tell anyone.
I felt bad for drowning my pillow,
So I told him,
But right now,
That's the only one I can trust.

I'm glad for you.
You were never happy there anyways.
I'm just sad for the future...
But I'll pack up the tears,
And put the pity party on hold.
Time to say good bye.
Even thought I'm smiling,
Deep inside I'm crying.
I'm dying.
Things will never be the same.
At least your happy...

Old dreams have run out,
New dreams have dried up.
I tried and I tried,
But it's never enough.

My eyelids hang sleepily,
My movements are slow,
Don't know what to do,
Don't know where to go.

I'm definitely not happy,
But if I'm sad,
What for?
I surrender,
Because "Nothing's fine,
I'm torn."