I always believed it was my fault,
When it was completely yours.
Because I thought I loved you,
And did not love myself.

The worst kind of reply is none at all,
Because it gives me time to rip myself apart.
And list all the thing’s I should’ve said,
And all the things I did.
Why build someone up just to let them down?

I like the way you look at me.
I like that you search for eye contact.
I like your ****** expressions,
And the shape of your smile.
I think I like you.
A lot.

I cannot romanticize anymore,
For my brain is fresh out of 'bright blue eyes' and 'kind smiles,'
Forcing me to look behind the beautiful smiles,
And understand that I can't have you.

I cannot romanticize anymore,
For that rosy shade of optimism has faded from my glasses,
Forcing me to look at people closely,
At who they are,
And not who I'd like them to be.

Knotted little flowers strung through her hair, like a daisy chain. Each bud, a different innocence to prey on.

How did something so lovely turn so lost?

Maybe I'm caught up in what used to be.
Maybe I'm stuck in what never was.

It's late.
Don't waste your time,
Not on me.

I know you think I'll come around.

I won't.

It's late.
Don't waste your time,
Or at least not on me.

I know you think you're in love.

You're lonely.

It's late.
Stop wasting your time,
Please, not on me.

I know you think you know me.

You don't.

So please,
It's late,
Don't waste your time on me.

Caught between what I'd like to do,
What I can do,
And what I'm forced to do.

Oh god, where do I even begin?
Maybe with his eyes.
Blue. Bright blue, staring into mine. And yeah, he's on the stage, and I'm in the crowd, but they're blue. Bright blue.
Maybe with his hands.
Skilful. Elegantly skillful, over the keys, the strings, the drums. And yeah, he's on the stage, and I'm in the crowd, but they're skillful, elegantly skillful.

Maybe with his mind.
Maybe with mine.
Maybe with how we think alike,
Or how I feel like he gets me.
And yeah he's on the stage, and I'm in the crowd, but he knows and I know and if only one of us would stop being so shy and awkward and just talk to one another.

I've fallen into this hole on my own.
Don't kid yourself,
It'll never happen

But I can't let go.
*Where do I even begin?

I'm not one to wear sweatpants in public.
It's not like I shame others for wearing them,
Or that I don't enjoy the comfort of that fuzzy inside part,
It's just there's something ****** enough inside of me that prevents me from exposing this level of comfort outside the safety of my home.

So if you ever see me in sweatpants,
Assume that all hell broke loose and that something went terribly wrong.

If I look mad:
Run.
Don't even consider stopping.
run
I bite.

If I look like I haven't slept,
Well you're probably right,
I probably haven't.

And if I appear to be sad and/or (probably) crying,
Don't talk. Just be there and listen to me complain.
And if you're having a 'sweatpants day,'
I'll be there for you as well.

I keep telling myself that I can do better,
While wondering why I don't.

All I ever wanted was to be wanted,
And now I feel more useless than ever.

So thanks for wasting my time,

And no, we can't be friends.

you're a really nice guy,
but our conversations lack depth.
when I talk to you,
I feel like I'm drowning



*in the kiddie pool.

I used to criticize people,
For being shallow,
For being empty.

But I, too,
Have dried up,
And now remain with nothing.

please don't
tell me
that i'm
dreaming
all i ever wanted was to
dream another sunset with you

if i
roll over
when it's
over
i'll take this cali sunrise with me
and wake up with the fondest memories

this is for the times that I miserably failed at flirting
and ended up awkwardly stating something ****** and irrelevant

sorry that I wasted your time.
sorry that I wasted mine.

Every step he took,
Was with a careful kind of grace.
His lips were soft and warm,
And never would anything pass through them,
Other than words of kindness.
I miss him,
And his accidental beauty.

I've come to terms with a few things:

Sometimes life *****.
Sometimes life is unfair.
Sometimes isn't forever.

I listen to loud music,
On full volume.
And I like it.

People ask me how,
Why,
Or what I hear in that yelling.

It's quite simple.
After being so lost, for so long,
Sometimes it takes literal screaming to crack my surface.

So I listen to loud music,
On full volume,
And I like it,
Because I can feel.

The last thing I thought of,
Before the goodbye,
Was the warmth of your lips,
And the sun in your eyes.
My pliable mindset,
Is a waste of your time,
I'm not looking for answers,
Just looking to find.

I'll conjure all my thoughts,
And I'll try to unwind.
Sit still and relaxed,
Just to pass time.
I'll battle with grace,
At least on the outside.
While the hole in my chest,
Fights the war with my mind.

Walks late at night,
Through the dark woods,
And whatever I do,
I feel up to no good
And I can't find the footing,
Of where I once stood,
I have fallen and broken,
More times than I should.

I'll conjure all my thoughts,
And I'll try to unwind.
Sit still and relaxed,
Just to pass time.
I'll battle with grace,
At least on the outside.
While the hole in my chest,
Fights the war in my mind.

Hey guys!
It's been awhile, but I'm back. I've come to terms with the things that were troubling me. I started a new account but I never really wrote anything good on it...

Well that's all.
I'll be posting here again.

-AMT

I like the way you scrunch your face,
When you hit the high notes.
And I like that little hole,
On the right knee of your jeans.
I like those beautiful blue eyes,
That scan the crowd every night.
But most of all,
I love the way that you light up the stage,
And how obvious it is that it's exactly where you belong.

It *****
A lot.
But its just a couple more weeks now.
We're gonna be just fine.

This town is suffocating me.*
Words that are heard more often than not,
Never felt so real.

To whoever holds your heart right there.
You hold my world so handle with care.

The girl standing in front of me,
Is just an empty shell.
You used to be so funny,
But you dragged her strait to hell.

Going back on hiatus... Sorry guys. Just feeling really stuck again. I don't have much to say and I'm really doubting my writing and music. I feel like I've set a kind of standard for myself and every time I don't hit that mark, I get really frustrated and end up quitting and being upset and it's honestly not worth it anymore. Writing and music are two things that I really enjoy and plan on always enjoying, but if I don't take this break, I might find that it's becoming unenjoyable and quit for good and that would be tragic because I'm really not so great at much else. So this is temporarily good bye... Again... I'll be on now and then, but just not posting for a while.

It's not a big deal unless you make it one.
You can get out of things if you pack up and run.
But just cause you're gone doesn't mean this is done.

Every argument,
Is sink or swim.
No compromise, ifs, ands or buts.
And the winner is whoever can talk louder,
Shove their opinion farther down the other's throat.
Talking to you is hardly sinking though.
It's drowning,
And rather quickly.

And I guess we've all just hit a new low.
Rock bottom ain't as deep as it goes.

I let somebody know,
But they weren't who they're supposed to be.
So now you can't ever get close to me.
I'll push you away.

And I wonder if he waited for me,
In the way I waited for him.
I wonder if he gave up on ever seeing me.
I wonder if he left early,
But was always too late.
Well here's where my story will come together.
Here's where I get my happily ever after.

Saw him again...
Too awkward to say hi...
Probably doesn't remember...
5 in the morning...
Asleep on the basement floor...
Casually wave...
*Guess not.

Pretty sure that if we were 100% all the time, none of us would talk to each other.

What happened to us?
And please tell me why.
Since when was it okay to just let people cry,
While they smile on the outside,
And utter mere lies.
We're all so broken,
But yet, we're 'fine.'

Nothing really scares me.
Not the dark, not the light,
Not animals, not bugs,
Not ghosts or scary movies.

We're both pulling.
Even if I pull harder,
I end up with the rope burn.
And suddenly I'm pushing you away.
You know too much.

And that terrifies me.

I don't know what happened.
I don't know where that came from.
I don't know why I did that.
I don't know how I expected you to react.
I don't know why I hurt you.
I know that I'm sorry
And I don't know why that's all I can say.

Even if I apologize,
I know,
There's still a hill to climb,
I know,
That I will never quite convince you.

Even if I apologize,
I know,
That's not enough sometimes,
Although,
It's all I have to give you.

My life is a rollercoaster.
I'm on my way up,
Meaning this is going to be a hell of a fall.

I wish that I could just TALK to him, that I could just walk right over and let the words run out of my mouth and into his thoughts.
I wish that he would just TALK to me; that our conversations could be captivating and not ending at hello.

Should I write it in a letter?
Must I sing it in a song.
Because I think I liked you better,
Before we grew so strong.

Should I write it on my forehead,
Is there something I can do?
Perhaps I should just say the words that start with
I love you.

My thoughts are a tornado in my head.
The words I wished to say have not been said.
Time;
It moves at such a pace and I fail to keep up.
Smiles;
Fill with comfort, but don't last quite long enough.

My mind is just a blank slate that I drew.
I try not to remind myself of you.
Time;
It moves so slowly and I want it to speed up.
Smiles;
Yours is great, but it won't last me long enough.

My thoughts are a tornado in my head.
The words I want to say, I have just said.

I can't seem to find words to describe how I feel anymore. I just can't do it any longer. All they do is want and ask, but I've got nothing left to give.

Hi people!
This isn't a poem, it's actually just a message that I wanted to post to ask a favor of a few of you. This website has provided a place for me to voice my opinion, organize my thoughts, and has given me listeners for my two-in-the-morning rants. All of you guys are great and I'm so happy that I decided to join. Anyways.... For my language arts class, we are doing a project about poetry where we have to find, as well as write poetry. I wanted to include writing from here because I feel like you guys are real people who I can communicate with and more importantly, relate to. Please comment if you would be okay with me including your poetry in my project. Also, another piece to the project must include a bio of the writer, so if I do use one of yours, I'm going to need a short little paragraph about you, doesn't have to be too detailed, just what you do, what you enjoy ect. So yeah... that's it. Hope to hear back from you!

Thanks so much,
AMT

Didn't go the way I had wanted...
But then again,
What does?

And I look forward to the day I will be able to wake up and be whatever I'd like to. When I can be with whoever, whenever, doing whatever we please. I look forward to the day I'll be able to look in the mirror and not worry about what stares back;  to the day where I can chose what I'd like to learn and how I'd like to use it. I simply cannot wait for the day I will wake up and go to sleep feeling happy to be where I am and who I am.

Sighs because everything is too quiet.
How I miss the feeling of feeling.

Don't listen to a word I say,
                         The screams all sound the same.
                  Though the truth may vary,
    This ship will carry our bodies,
Safely to shore.

And I pushed them all away,
So they wouldn't see my face,
While I cried.
Because words they had to say,
Have just gotten in the way,
So I'm 'fine.'

They ask why I gave up.
They ask why I let them win.
Constantly nagging at why I let it happen.
What did I do it for?
I didn't do it for him,
I didn't do it for her.
I did it for me.

This time it will work out.
This time it's different.
This time it's special.
She said,
every,
time.