And he's funny, if I walk into a room, and he's there, he'll always make me laugh. Sure, if we walk down the hallway together, we won't hear whisper's of they are so cute. We also won't hear whispers of that won't last long either. And he makes me happy, he makes me feel good about myself. So right now, for  me, thats enough. So yeah, I'm not the one,  but I'd rather be the reason for his smile, than the reason for his heartbreak. Maybe my mind will change later, but right now I like they way things are. I'm satisfied. He makes me happy,  and I like that.

even in the darkest despair
there is always a path to the light

everything torn can be mended
everything shattered can be fixed

through time and commitment
nothing is truly broken

after everything that happened
we would both move on
as if all this never happened

oh, how I wish that were true

I try to forget, and I try to let go
when our eyes meet when we pass each other by
I know I can never forget

how I wish I could forget...

I am lost in a maze of thought
Even when things seem normal outside
There is too much to think about inside

Every feeling is meaningless without thought
The more you think, the more you feel
And yet the deepest thoughts are made from feelings

Thought is an ever-growing puzzle
You find and put together piece by piece
But the picture just keeps getting bigger

And It was like there was a fire in the underbelly of my heart, that I  had waited so long for. On the winding path that I constantly found myself lost in, I had found a reason. I had been lingering, hoping for some sort of inspiration, something to believe in, a map, a key. The uncertainty and curiosity that I tended to find myself tangled in, became my muse. Although I grasp tightly on to my reason, I doubt it will last long. I am known for losing things.

Early in the morning, I open up
But not completely- no one would understand
Only I, no one else
Not even the people closest to me
They think they know me the best.
But aren't you forgetting you're the ones who let my sprit down
The pain you gave me was for the best
The day was done. I cried it all out...

I went inside my lonely little bud
And I sat in a dark, lonely corner-
waiting for something to hit me
Everyone abuses me- emotionally and physically
They don't care how they make me feel
For all I am is a little flower
Opening up to the world

Life's a house of horror,
And death's a bitter chill
Love's 1000 floors of hell
With just a second of thrill.
The only way to stop it,
Is to forgive those who've done you wrong,
But it only starts again
When you finally move on.
Suffering is supposed to end
It gets better, of course.
But even Cinderella
Could fall off Prince Charming's horse.

And I was perfect, to him at least, I was a heads up penny, a single ray of sunshine in a dark room. He told me how it was amazing how I was not already someone else's labeled piece in this silly game of love. He saw me how I wanted to see myself. And every moment we had was perfect, a perfect reproduction of what I had imagined it all to be. But like I always do, I ruin everything. He started to fall in love with me, as I fell out of love with him.