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454 · Jan 2022
Obituaries
am i ee Jan 2022
93, 94, 95

watching the obituaries
when will it come?

for the one I love?

the one who gave
birth to me?

years flow by

ups and downs
so many forgotten.

tears and fears
washed away by time.

silently we sit,
content,
now

and perhaps
for all of time.
452 · Mar 2016
empty months
am i ee Mar 2016
no little snores in the middle of the night
nor any as i read or write

deafening quiet
no sweet breathing to keep me company

no patter of paws
across the floor

or lapping from bowls of water....

no knocking at the door
in the dark of the night

owl and fox
out back, nocturnal delight

you left me so suddenly
can't believe it is really still true

but you sent me a new
little friend to love just like i did you...
449 · Aug 2015
tiny toad
am i ee Aug 2015
little toad
no larger than
a fingernail.


perfectly camouflaged,
invisible,
until you jump!
448 · Sep 2015
lucky lucky agent 99
am i ee Sep 2015
yesterday's chase
and confusion diminishing,

whew!  
made it out alive!

cool, beautiful soft morning
arrives

it truly is

a

HOKEY POKEY mother frosted flakers!

yes!

HOKEY POKEY mother frosted flakers!
you sweet little crunchy frosted flakers...

what say you?  any of my kind gentle loyal readers....
how's that for one fine Hokey Pokey... now don't y'all be hurtin'  my feelin's now by making funna me...  give it a day or two or so.... then let the games begin!   love to all... *~
446 · Jan 2016
night drive
am i ee Jan 2016
3 am

waxing moon
high in sky
growing each night

empty roads
passing lights
cold frozen water
covering asphalt

water main break
a sign of cold winter

a fox sits off to
the side of the last street
eyes ablaze
yellow

hunting
watching
being

when will i
simply
be,

devoid of
the
mess
of
modern
civilization?
444 · Aug 2022
sad times
am i ee Aug 2022
fearful

worries about what
might happen


times have changed

sad


people watching
expecting the worst

what has happened?

these are sad times

$500,000 for security
for fun!

rather crazy if you ask me.

I shall return to silence
to solitude
to stillness

humans?

who needs them!
442 · Aug 2015
blue lizards
am i ee Aug 2015
movement
on a rock

little creature

with an intensely
blue tail
am i ee Sep 2015
high test premium fuel
keeps me rolling along
smooth & fast & FAT.
in 665 haiku
434 · Jan 2016
falling moon
am i ee Jan 2016
full and orangy
you sink quickly
as morning comes

don't go so quickly...
i'm sorry i slept

the night is ours
i missed you so many
times

you are my peace
my balm
my love

keep my puppies
happy
till i join you all.....

the sun has
risen

the people crawl
out of their little spaces

the night is mine
just for you & me

oh & the snow truck
& driver from Jamaica
whose truck was stuck
in this snow

three or four hours
he waited for his
buddies to help

such a blizzard this
place did have

seven, lucky 7
trucks were stuck
during the night

drivers waiting
digging them out
with little shovels

feet cold
sox wet

oh the *******
will soon begin

where were you
all you little
warm & asleep
little peeps?

very asleep
whether awake or
asleep

why did you not
bring this man
this cold Island man

a nice big shovel
from your
little little house

some did
& stayed to
dig

& stayed to
watch his
buddy set him free

& stayed to
cheer as he & his
truck

made it back up
the big hill
got a running start

& HURRAY
they made it
ALL the way up!

my moon
high in the sky
soft light
watching all

watching all
go by

i love you moon
i shall see you soon!
love the night, love the moon, love the solitude... love the silence
am i ee Sep 2015
Dear kind gentle reader,

just a note to share with you
my wonderful day with you all,
truly the most extraordinary,
and most fun day we’ve seen
in a long while

far surpasses those
those wildly laughing
burning with heat so strong
i could have sworn it was
the time for me to depart
depart the beautiful world & life
for i swore it would not take too
long afore i would be in my grave
for all of the laughin
all that laughin taking
me to my grave

to return to this lovely & blessed tale,

a family of four walked by,
and stop to talk to bark &
talk with puppyhead,
then at me, 

wood wood
wood wood
a lot of that was a goin on

as they wandered on,
we lickety-split got our tether,
tethered together,
we ran out the gate,
to catch  our new found
little fun mates,

two little angels with
eyes so sparkling blue
and curls of honey blond hair,

and one little wild man,
loud and fast
of which nothing was scary,
but himself,
himself of
less than 3

and their large hulking
huge smiling giant of a man,
their wonderful papa

puppyhead and me
Wandered along with
our new friend pals
crissing and crossing
and
crossing and crissing paths

stopped at a magical spot,
hung and slid and swung
so we did
magic ***** and trees as tall
surrounding us all

on our jaunty way back
such happiness was sung

truly a magical day indeed.

as a special magical delight,
puppyhead and me
did discover, the answer to
the mowers and blowers
and beepers

three tinkling voices
chattering along,
mercifully drowned out all
the annoying stuff

dear reader
however, I must confess,
while these little darlings,
have come up with the remedy
to all of the ruckus

i’m a still gonna need
to *** me a new pair of ears
now
along with my new pair of eyes
and now even
more than ever
bless their loud singing
and chattering little hearts


farewell kind readers,
do not fret
for we shall be back
if not yet, then again
almost immediately

blessed blessed night to all….
from
my puppyhead & me
424 · Aug 2015
3 am ii
am i ee Aug 2015
rain falling
on the moon
great ape washes

collecting raindrops
dipper of fresh water
thirst quenched
423 · Jan 2016
night... cold gentle rain
am i ee Jan 2016
a January night
a gentle rain falls
cold and wet

soft winter earth
drinks from heaven
cleansing, peaceful

tears fall across the globe
from death
from loneliness
from fear
from sorrrow
from guilt
from laughter
from hunger
from frustration
from weariness

night falls
dark envelopes the ground
quiet descends
peace prevails

a new day will dawn
for now
rest is all that
calls
am i ee Sep 2015
the question of God's existence
finally put to rest.

or was it?

the big fat bus,
with the big fat yellow bootay,
turned her thoughts
to other existential
mysteries.

many a book
had been left behind
over the years
as students got off the bus,
so the big fat bus
with the big fat yellow bootay
had plenty of books
to read on her long days
cruising up,
and down,
and around,
the highways.
a veritable library indeed.

one  book
particularly caught
her attention
as its cover
was a lovely
shade of yellow
and black.

i say,
hmmm,
that title
needs editing.

i am that,
now
became
I AM THAT FAT

content,
she put down
the yellow book,
and gazed off
into the emptiness.
* or Lesser if you know the difference
for Nisarga... he's the man!

and if you have a hankerin' to read from the beginning... see the Collections,  The Manly Cowboy & Chronicles of a Big Fat Yellow Bootay
421 · Feb 2016
la Zorra
am i ee Feb 2016
zorro   noun:

el zorro
fox, dog fox

la zorra
fox, *****, *****, ******


my friend lent
his
little perra
to me

for the day

she looks like a
little zorra

i would name her
Zorra

if she were mine....

but would someone
who hablos
Espanol
think she might
be a ******????
if you know how to spell speaks in Spanish... please feel free to correct my spelling....do you really spell it hablar?  don't you pronounce it ob-low?
love words and language.... don't you?!
417 · Jan 2016
blizzard coming... or not
am i ee Jan 2016
almost full moon earlier
lighting the earth
bright soft light
scattering everywhere

so cold that the wooden boards
comprising the deck
crack and snap at each
foot step
merely soxed ones at that
no heavey shoes

waking after several hours
go by
walking out with hot water
in white china cup
boards snap and
their winter song flies out

hating to return to the warmth
of the bed
would rather be out
under the moon
the moon i've missed,
missed so much

the rhythm of the seasons
bears me not in mind
natural changes since
the beginning of time

but wait for me dear moon?

i didn't mean to be away so long,
and now i don't mean to sleep
inside
away from your charm

beautiful moon
beams down,

silly little one
you can't stop the
eternal march
of this imagined time

tears do no good
resigned
to the deep deep
wisdom of this moon

i sit patiently
when i do sit
patiently

under the light,
the subtle rays
of her monthly
delight

a lone star is visible
this last of nocturnal
checks

morning rushes
closer with her
impending light

clouds cover the heavens
it won't be so bright
when the moon and her light
slip away with this waning
night.

it is said
it is predicted
a blizzard on her way
to cast all astray

dear moon
you and i
will sit
and wait

to find out
exactly what form
this storm shall take!

i love you dear moon
my bestest of companions
but for my beloved puppyhead
well....
you two for sure
but, well, then again
there was Pd

we all love you dear moon

you regulate our ******
those of us with ******
and regulate our charms

always
eternally
in harmony
with you
whether we know it

or not!
415 · Oct 2015
Lost for a While
am i ee Oct 2015
got off the highway
for a brief rest
got lost for a while

made a mistake
made somebody
smile

got lost for a while

maybe the angels
really do talk
to you
through your
keyboard  &
stickers

but are you sure
it is not the
devil
& some
demons as
friends
that are
******* with
you

got lost for a while

****** around
wastin time
losing all
the fine
losing the
dime

got lost for a while

babies
and
puppies

i like em
best in
Real
life

cool fresh
rain
pouring down
over you
first iteration
of the
delusion
of you

got lost for a while

that is enough
but a few
keep
on
iterating
then
they **** with
that one
too

got lost for a while

happy sad
it all makes
it glad

got lost for a while

me,
think
i
******
care
confessional or true, what say YOU?
oh, where did my guns go?
the sig sours, and colts, the winchesters and kalishnakovs
the pistols, the rifels, the Ak 47s , and the SMAW
and that razor blade  shiny & sharp,
gosh, better get to the park
for that a fine crop of sweet hemlock
dom perignon
a silky nice thick rope,
huge cliff of yawning cavernous chasm
test driving the maserati
415 · Feb 2016
moving on
am i ee Feb 2016
each moment
moving on

letting go
like melting snow

no memories
no expectations

simply here
as it is

no resistance
no force

flowing along
never the same water

never the same river

dancing with the light
sparkling and bright

ebbing and flowing
eternally blowing

diving deep within
quiet and dark

silent and peaceful

over and over and over......
414 · Feb 2016
ashes
am i ee Feb 2016
a friend, a teacher, a love, a companion
so warm and full of life.
reduced to grey ashes,
a small bag full.

finality in the clearest terms.
deep sorrow wells up.
hard to remember non-duality
when duality stares you in the face.

om mani padme hung
407 · Sep 2015
Ant Farm & others
am i ee Sep 2015
i'd rather live one day free,
than a lifetime,
behind glass,
a lifetime,
behind bar.

caged and pacing,
while the world stares on.
freedom taken.
wild nature's wings
grounded.

roaming and racing,
the wind in my face,
the wind at my back.
covering ground,
high and low,
near and far,
wide open spaces.

tiny or large,
majestic warm-blooded creature,
or insect so small,
all,
free at large.

i rather live one day free,
than a lifetime,
behind glass,
a lifetime,
behind bar.
404 · Aug 2015
3 am i
am i ee Aug 2015
clock ticks
rain falls

night
summer

crickets sing
bullfrogs croak
402 · Jan 2016
could should would
am i ee Jan 2016
Maintain always serenity under all conditions and circumstances.

-- Sri Swami Sivananda


Ah, but if only i could?
should i?
would i?
what does spirituality look like when it manifests here?
taking form....must it look calm, peaceful?  stormy times re-pattern a life,
who is to say whether it is good or bad... it simply IS.
401 · Feb 2016
duality isn't what it seems
am i ee Feb 2016
duality isn't what it seems
the illusion tricking
one

drawing one in
what is real
what is the delusion

pulled back and
forth

how am i to tell?

tears fall
pain sears

is this really it?

nah...

quiet time
spent alone

reality
raises itself

silly silly you
did you really
fall for that

all over again???

don't stop laughing
it is all happening
again & again
398 · Feb 2016
finding a way back
am i ee Feb 2016
finding my way back
day by day ...
moment by moment...

but who am i?
what am i?

and
what is there to find
a way back to?
am i ee Jan 2016
“Take long walks in stormy weather or through deep snows in the fields and woods, if you would keep your spirits up. Deal with brute nature. Be cold and hungry and weary.”


― Henry David Thoreau, On the Duty of Civil Disobedience
388 · Aug 2015
dark of the night
am i ee Aug 2015
dark
solitude.

nocturnal creatures,
moon, stars
for company

still air
gentle breaths
summer's last gasps

the night speaks
i listen

in the silence
i can hear
silence & peace...
382 · Sep 2015
night giving to day
am i ee Sep 2015
i sit,

this night drawing neigh
the moon sets

the sun
begins rising high

i sit,

endless blends,
Yin & Yang  
yang & yin,

night & day
day & night,

sun & moon,

summer, winter
spring & autumn,

ever coming
again,
& again...

& again.....
neigh |nā|   ~  (this isn't the definition i wanted to find... but the word stays in... i like the way it sounds.... neigh ... like hi,  or high...
noun
a characteristic high-pitched sound uttered by a horse.
verb [ no obj. ]
(of a horse) make a characteristic high-pitched sound; utter a neigh.
• (of a person) make a sound similar to a neigh: they neighed dutifully at jokes they did not understand.
ORIGIN Old English hnǣgan (verb), of imitative origin; compare with Dutch dialect neijen .
am i ee Jan 2016
morning coming
owl hoots

in the woods
out back in a tree

first heard
since puppyhead
died

been moving too fast
not stopping to pause

dear owl
how happy it makes
me to hear
your call
369 · Jan 2016
i sit on a winter afternoon
am i ee Jan 2016
sunlight waning

good friend gone for today
others afraid of "the man"
the technological oversight

wake up my
fellow beings

you gave it ALL away
don't cry today

NO ONE
NOTHING is
going to
protect you

do it all yourself
be strong
be brave
be resilitant

cry if you may

the divine doesn't give a ****
it is indifferent

this plane operates
under natural law

fang and paw
stop worrying

only the moment
reveals the truth

reveals the ONE

banish the thoughts
they NEVER end

sit and settle
like ***** water
in a clear glass

better yet a pool
deep in the glade
far from the madness

nothing is REAL

only your mind makes
it so

like a sleeping dream

you walk this waking one

so sure it is REAL

take your time and make
sure
what you

THINK
is so.......

really really so...

hey...
WAKE UP


you really are more than
you take yourself to be....

this life
or
100,000
more


YOU will
realize

that

YOU ARE THAT

I AM THAT
368 · Sep 2015
Red Hearts Make My Day
am i ee Sep 2015
'Go ahead
make my day!' said
what's his face,
in what's that movie?

pointing his
.357 magnum
at the fellow
lying on the
ground,

he didn't flinch.

but when you send me
beautiful red hearts,

i smile really big
and YOU
make my day!
thank you, you know who.
and i know it was a .44

for even more fun... read through the comments...
368 · Sep 2015
little ears, big questions
am i ee Sep 2015
the small lad
came into the house,

inquired innocently,

" Mommy, who's jesusfuckingchrist?"

little ears, big questions.

mommy gazes out the window
at the pair of boots
lying under the car,

and sighs.
367 · Aug 2015
morning
am i ee Aug 2015
morning hike
face full of spider webs

box turtle wanders slowly
through rain drops clinging
to parched earth and plant

puppy tongue laps
creek water
quenching thirst

tiny fish dart to and fro
frog leaps
with a big splash
366 · Jan 2016
softening heart?
am i ee Jan 2016
wondering if
maybe
just maybe

this heart
might
just be
softening a
smidge?

long long
months
of great
disappointment

long long months
of great searing
sadness

long long months
of raging
anger

long long months
of sweetest
love


long long months
of  finding
the best

in those humans
at times
i say
i hate so much

but how can
i hate
all those
others

who are only
me in different
covers?
365 · Sep 2015
cool rain on fall night
am i ee Sep 2015
rain falls
on parched earth.

fall
a majestic season
quiet and retiring.

year winding
down
to an ending.

no cause for
loud call.

rain falls
gently and
coolly
on dried
fallen leaves.

words need
not be spoken
nor written
for it only
gets in the
way of
knowing
the ONE.

free from
gossiping and
interpreting,
fall
quiet and
deep
keeps quiet
to herself.

true magic
real mystics
only act
for themselves.

devil may care
but sweet mother
nature never
despairs

an unending
cycle
end and
beginning
unknown

why bother
your little mind
with questions
forever unknown.
sleep well, rest deeply in this oh so funny living hell....
am i ee May 2022
Huge snapping turtle
caught on the stepping stones

puppyhead startled
me, am amazed

prehistoric in shape
adds magic

to this rainy
spring
morning
am i ee Sep 2015
when it is
my final time,
i make it here
clear.

for my first choice
my wish,
is to go like
all the critters we see,
lying in the woods,
enjoying a last
long, lingering
Final look.

this body
once warm
slipping into
Mother earth
in its very own
time.

second way
i'd like,
is to go like
the
ancient Zoroastrianism
practitioners
did do.

or the monks
high among the
peaks of the
snow covered
Himalyan peaks
of Tibet
once so
Free.

i'll take a hot
firey burning
if that is what you
must do.

mixed in thoroughly,
with those of
my puppyhead
and her magficient
ancestors.

fling these ashes
high overhead,
while the winds
are blowing
strongly along.

hike to the top
a high and lonely
peak,
open the little
baggie of plasticky.

release these ashes,
of us who loved
each other  So,
to ride the winds
forever together,
throughout all of 
eternal time!

but,

i make it here
most perfectly clear,
under no circumstances
are you to be flushing me
down some ubiquitous
suburban
toilet!

for that one i promise,
for this you
may be sure!
i will  long
hang around,
haunting you,
every time you,
poo or ***!

RIP rip rip
inspired by the little tooth lying in the sacred dumpster behind the dentist's office, which is filled with implements of magical modern dentistry!
360 · Jun 2023
eileen's dream
am i ee Jun 2023
eileen’s dream


was it you?
was it us?

was it you as me?
was it me as you?

shifting, changing
polarities, dualities

did eileen ever
have any dream?

or just this waking one
intermixed with her
sleeping ones?

or was it just a cigar
named for an eileen?



~esk June 2023
352 · Sep 2015
little ant playing dead
am i ee Sep 2015
little black dot lying on the counter,
playing dead.

you can’t fool me,
i saw you moving around.

i’m  still feeling guilty for
killing your family,
and all your good fine friends.

did you happen to see
the one i took outside?
the one i set free?

averting my eye,
i’ll leave you alone little guy,
wander away.

now you stay out of the kitchen.
so i can stop *******’.
see 'modern suburban morning' for first ants demise, which prompted this piece.
350 · Sep 2015
fowl mysteries
am i ee Sep 2015
trodding through trees,
Mother Earth
fresh and sweet,
twice this season,
twice so recent.

stumbled upon,
on the floor of the woods,
a pair of perfect wings,
not a feather disturbed.
only the very center,
the body,
not there.

a spine cleaned bare,
remained right there,
next to the
wings
of the penultimate one.

only silent space,
lying between,
each wing,
between  
each one.

oh what mysteries surround,
lying around,
not making a sound.
only for those who wander
and look,
and,
look and,
wander around.
347 · Jan 2016
crescent moon
am i ee Jan 2016
tinged in soft light
atmosphere
you sit
quietly
high above
the bare naked
trees

waxing and waning
eternally
missing you so

my puppyhead is
up with you
why did she have
to leave so suddenly?

i wish her lightness
dancing on high
racing and running
chasing you around

but this little human heart
feels her loss so acutely
her death stolen from
me by the stalker.

why must humans be
so cruel
so mean

the moon and the stars
the heavens above
looking down upon
these sad little forms
called man
and woman

they cry for the pain
the little forms inflict
isn't there enough
that nature flings

well enough
pondering and
thinking

too much thinking
and you really will be
stinking

crescent moon
high above the trees
your soft light brings
me such sweet peace

tell my puppyhead
i love her so and
always will
that i miss her so
and always will

well tell all my puppyheads
i miss them so
and i eagerly await
the little furry creatures
they are sending me
to **** with my mind
now you all are gone.

i know you are up there
rubbing your little paws
together
plotting and planning
to send me someone
or someones
to REALLY
give me one new
hell of a time.......
343 · Feb 2016
small beings
am i ee Feb 2016
little children...
just like little monkeys,
little any young creature,
are strong and resilient,
brave and crafty,
smart and imaginative.

why are they pampered,
living lives under the
illusion of protection?

there is no way to prevent
the hurt, the danger,
the demise.

why not school the little ones
in skills that will take
them through a full life?

a life free from fear imagined
at every turn.
a life skilled at seeing through
the illusion, the delusion.

personal fear projected outward,
only multiplying it
myriad times over.

take stock of what you do...
what you think...
what you say...

perhaps you will alter it
today ....
343 · Feb 2016
little friend
am i ee Feb 2016
such great company
in such a little friend

curled up in a sweet
furry ball

silent and still
your presence

fills heart
with love

with peace....
for my newest littlest friend...
342 · Feb 2016
morning comes
am i ee Feb 2016
dark of the night
giving way to morning light

prayers to pray
sit with the dead sages

open to the ALL
for you are That

small events
absorbed into the void

vast and huge
nothing lasts here

sitting in silence
sitting in solitude
sitting in stillnesss
340 · Sep 2015
hearing's final doom
am i ee Sep 2015
hey you,
yes you,
the strapping young lad,
with that leaf blower resting
on that shoulder pad.

why don’t you use a rake?
your hearing that blower
soon will take.

what will you do when  
alone in a room,
with that sweet lass,
when she’s moaning
as you are caressing
her beautiful ***?

your hearing so slight,
you can’t quite catch,  
the growing of her subtle delight.

you wouldn’t heed the warning,
now you can't hear her moaning.

now you are left wishing
how much you
should have,
could have,
used that silent broom.

instead of that machine,
that machine of  
your keen hearing’s
final & lasting doom.
yes, more modern suburban hell.
am i ee Jan 2016
walking alone
under the waning moon
hot cup of tea
held in blue mittened paws

vast feet of snow
covering
muffling
this earth

nary a form in sight
but one nice
girl at the
beginning of this
night walking
delight

mind circles round
to little itches
of annoyance

tiny troubles
of minor proportions

pondering nature
hers and ours

which emotions
are off limits

seems those
that burst &
explode
in
messy ways

but dear fellow
humans
what is so
uncomfortable
about
exploring
your

shadow side?

my love
my moon

your shadows
subtle & calm

these walks with you
create me
fresh
anew
am i ee Sep 2022
friends just  left

moon shines bright

such a good night

:  )

love to all !!!
331 · Jan 2016
January monday morning...
am i ee Jan 2016
just waking up...
hot cup of coffee...

16 degrees F out ..  -8.99 C....
brisk and invigorating...

the sun's rays beginning to
reach the tops of the bare tree branches...

a wind blows winter across the land...
all is quiet and at peace

a most welcome relief

hello new day...
what will you bring me???
331 · Aug 2015
Red Moon
am i ee Aug 2015
red moon,
deep & sacred
ancient,
giver of life.
329 · Feb 2016
i am
am i ee Feb 2016
cold comes
dark falls

i am you
you are me

stars
dark

silence
solitude

you make
me crazy

you that
are me

.........
327 · Sep 2015
blank canvas
am i ee Sep 2015
20,
and face so smooth,
so new.
nary a line,
nary a mark.

blank and young.
an unwritten life.
so much more,
soon to come.

50, and wiser,
the years go by.
interesting trails,
travel the face.

telling of experiences,
telling of a life,
rich with joy,
rich with strife.

learning to steep,
in every moment.
however it appears,
for that shall too,
soon disappear.

studying the faces,
of myriad people,
so many passing by.

the life of each,
creating landscapes unique,
in skin and bone
and eyes and teeth.

cracks and crevices,
spots and colors,
what an,
oh so,
interesting
life.
327 · Feb 2016
fear
am i ee Feb 2016
fear......

gnawing at me
at night,
as i wake
long before
light.

why?!

what is there
to fear?

wandering through
life, watching
fear at every turn.

small wonder
people are
so timid,
so cynical,
so angry,
so afraid.

does a gun
chase it away?

do all the locks
and screenings
keep it at bay?

loud voices,
TV, internet
print, radio
only scream out..
BE AFRAID

schools locked up
tight...

can you keep
fear out?

schooling an entire
generation in
paranoia &
visceral fear

oh how welcome
the drugs become.
bandaids for
imaginary monsters
and goblins
and immigrants.

don't look in.
why, believe
all the spin.

make yourself ill
worrying & hurrying.
running and hiding.

nothing can ever
save you,
nothing can ever
protect you,
but your own
mind,
your very
own perspective.

give into the
fear monger ers,
might as well
give up the fight.

what sort of life
it is to
live with
fear gnawing
at your gut and
heart,

every night
and
every day?
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