to have lost, to watch
you leave my room one last time.
the sunlight followed.

the red wine slurs
that stain my teeth
boil behind bones.
your crimson hurt
and clumsy feet
shake this glass home.

the cracks creep up
and take their hold,
crush the veins that
had gave them gold.

you are not mining for coal, you
take what you want and now you'll go.
my blood underneath your nails,
secrets that were not mine to tell.

you are my monday nights

drunk alone.

you are the choked expectations

carved hollow.

I will bite your lips

next time you lie.

your blood in my mouth

will suffice.

my eyes are heavy

can you kiss them awake?

can you rid me of

the sound you make,

the sigh of relief

when I kiss your skin,

the cracks of light

that let me in.

I’m afraid Sunday’s expectation
is harder to swallow than I thought.
that the grey, evening air does not sit
in my lungs so easily.

the promise of your presence hangs
on the delicate thread of your word
that has been known to give way many
times before.

stop running me through the sevens
to meet the same conclusion again,
do not try to lift these spirits
just to let them fall through your hands.

just let me move on from your broken word,
verify my claims and rid from this hurt.

I could arrange the broken bones
but the cracks would still
map out like constellations.
my ruptured ribs are bruised
and floating with no home.

you traced my scars with fingertips
and kissed my forehead ‘till I fell asleep.
you know I am broken, my dear.
so please, handle with care.

car alarm lullabies
harmonize with the howls
of the dogs next door.
I could paint every inch
of these beige walls, but
they still wouldn’t feel like home.