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 Oct 2014 RA
Pea
12
 Oct 2014 RA
Pea
12
I become afraid
of the sun -- I just wanted
love -- she burned me twice.
 Oct 2014 RA
Pea
Sonja
 Oct 2014 RA
Pea
"I once tried to fit my head and whole body in a Pringles can, just so
someday when I die, it would be easier for them to bury me."

It was something Sonja would say.

Though I begin to forget who she is, how she likes to think, what she
likes to say and do. I am erasing her, though all we ever were is a
dancer's footprints on the beach.

We have never had a proper dance lesson. I wonder what kind of lie it
was when I thought of buying a pair of nice, soft pink ballet shoes. But
honesty runs in my blood and that's why each month I bleed for seven
days.

I am gluing the butterflies to the wall. They would glow in the dark and
do with us what the Blue Fairy do with Pinocchio.

None of us has ever lied until we found the ruby. I feel that her nose is
becoming longer, longer than ever.

It feels ethereal, like we are one but separated. Light as an angel's step. I
cannot stop thinking about the dance.

Going to the beach, while the road is still moonlit.

Tonight the sky is clear. I can hear the crickets chirp. I am forgetting
how her voice sounds, how her hair falls, how her eyes open and close. I
think it's because I might have defenestrated her.

That is how the curtain insists to stay in red.

"I want to marry my earphone."*

I wonder if it is also something Sonja would say. I only remember her
as a yellow thing, small as sprout and dead as bark. She tried a lot to
kiss some metal and cold liquids, but her lips were too unreal and her
nails would not ever grow long.

I think she fell and broke a whole skull.

It is always our dream to be the sand.
 Oct 2014 RA
Pea
Cat
 Oct 2014 RA
Pea
Cat
Is it the music
or your voice that hurts the sky?
[I beg you, don't cry.]

It is her left eye,
opens wider in cloudy
nights. [It will not rain.]

It is never you,
you aren't an idea
nor 2 a.m. thought.
 Oct 2014 RA
Pea
I'll say these meaningless words
over and over and over again:
I love you
I love you
I love you

Even when I think of you as God;
I love you

Young blood, heated and dried
Dead head
You had crawled
Sickeningly sweet

I long for you
Funny duchess!
My Mary ---

Even though my tongue knows only clichés
and sometimes my tongue is too short
to speak human and the other times
my tongue is too long I think it
becomes python ---

I wish you were not dead;
Be here with me
You, omnipresent
I wish I could believe --

You wrote the bible with your own pretty hand --
Your ****** head (my sunrise)
Throbbing heart (still exists)
You have soul like universe
Objectified, scientified

How did you put it in?
And a nebula
Sickeningly sweet
I hope for no regret
Yet I am afraid

Of pureness -- your lethal-honest yellowness --
Spreads like **** pictures
Peanut butter on the bread in an easy morning

My, blonde thing!
Dark eyes, the nights
Spent crying
Why did you die, why did you die---

O why did you die?

Why did you die?
 Oct 2014 RA
Mydriasis Aletheia
I finally got closure
at four thirteen in the morning
eighteen months later.

I feel like I can stare
into the eyes of the future


For the first time in a long while
I could feel again: And it felt magnificent;
To be feeling things once more.
Alive, Finally
 Sep 2014 RA
marina
a letter
 Sep 2014 RA
marina
these are the things
your mother never taught you:
(one)
someday you will break down
at a  traffic light, and you will
call your dad and cry and
it will be okay
(two)
you will fail math class
your first try, but eventually
you will get it right
(three)
some days you will feel burnt,
knuckles bruised and shoulders
shaking; you're too old to cry
but when no one is around
you will lose it
(four)
one day you will meet a girl who
changes everything, a girl who
looks at you like she believes that
under your skin you are
an ocean
(five)
under your skin you are
an ocean
i wish i could make sense for you
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