Another night, another beer for the lonely
Cigarette in my left, Night is chilly
If only, I could take you with me
Candle lit, white roses and a glass of chablis

Another stick of Winston, another puff for the restless
A pack on my pocket, Song would be pointless
If only you could take me out of this mess
All will be good, things will get better, we'll have the best

Another poem, Another worthless message
You in my mind, I'm just another page
If only you and me could be in Cupid's stage
I won't mind, be it in cell or in a cage

You made me no more mister nice guy
Sitting on the curb
I watch you drink beer from a can
Your skirt is just short enough
To show me your skin
Your t-shirt is covered
In some pink cartoon
In the dark you seem quiet
Your words float away
Broken windshields
Crackeling
Explosions
Carry the silence
Into the rain
"Tell me the truth?"
"Yeah, sure I guess"
"Will you kiss me even
If I taste like cigarttes"
"Yes, I will kiss you if you
Kiss me back"
So I lit her cigarette
And she lit my mind
I could get used to having you
"Not all the time"

I want the kind of ***
where I'm told exactly how much you want me
by the way your frame
fills in my every curve
and you touch so much of me
with your hands
and your starved eyes
I should be scared
but you'll call me beautiful
and I'll be your sweetheart
as your sweet heart beats
beats faster
and you fall into me

i will love you
fiercely
till you feel me
in your bones
cushioned
in the marrow

For the first few months
you just want to **** yourself
and
everyone around you
in a machete mash-up
or a shotgun divorce.

I remember the girl
I started messing around with
after
the
thing.

She'd get on top of me
and reach down into my pants.

She'd do this
mechanical yanking real hard
until I started
getting friction burns.

Until I had to come
or else my **** might've singed off.

And when we ******,
she wanted everything hard
and she kissed real masculine:
aggressive
and her lips
braced against my teeth.

I hated her.

But what really ****** me up about her,
was that I only told her once about
Gnat,
and she didn't seem to hear me.

All the yanking and hard kissing,
she seemed there just to burn me down.

Not to destroy or anything malicious,
just that when she hopped in her car
and drove around in la-la land
I felt charred and empty.

Sometimes I'd call her over
to ****
and I'd just stare at her naked body,
closing my eyes
picturing gnat.

It never worked.

I always came hard
and it burned.

Eventually,
I stopped calling her.

Maybe she's dead or something.

I don't know,
at that time
she was just that inanimate to me.

I barely remember what she looked like,
I spent so much time
trying to super-impose.

I remember that summer by the lake
How you were surprisingly quiet that day
and nice to everyone which was weird
no sarcastic remarks
or swearing

so unlike you

your wit had died down
if we hadn't known better
we would of said you were distracted
But grateful for the change in your
demeanour
and teaching me to skip stones
If only you had taught me how to place my heart in my palm
and throw that away
instead

You weren't one for smiles
but you didn't like dramatic send offs either
that's why I was surprised when we found your cold body on the floor
bathed in the afternoon sun
In your fathers cabin
by that god forsaken lake
Under that red sky that turned everything the shade of your blood

Cassie slipped and fell and screamed
But I didn't hear her I was too busy focusing on you
willing myself to see a chest rising and falling
but all there was, was static
somewhere beyond Cassies screams

And Luke rushed to somehow clasp your wounds shut
The reflexes of a Doctor's child
But he didn't see that there was no more blood left to flow
and you were blue and cold
but you seemed unburdened of whatever
was eating
you

I remember feeling relief
I stood there
numb

We laughed at your funeral
At the irony of it all
and when your aunt got up and said you were the most
kind, generous young man
we almost died of laughter then

you were the most cold sarcastic ******we ever met

but still loved you

Jake elbowed me and said "What would he do if he was here right now?"
I smiled  "He'd jump out that ******* coffin and give his mother a heart attack"
Because it was you after all
You did love dramatic endings