Fallen
Beaten
Fallen again
Beaten some more
Not fallen like me, an empty casket,
hollowed out to make room for the things of the world
whose fate is bitter ash.
I’m fallen with imperfections as my flaws tear at the seams
Of my costume threatening to rip open the
empty piñata for the whole world to see.

You’re fallen by my imperfections and others’, too
Each time you rise you stomp, stomp on the wrongs,
Alight them with searing flames,
Smile at the perfections to come.
Within the smoldering remnants of my filth,
a form appears naked
but not ****.
Fascinating but not horrific
Love in the flesh; love shared between you and me
Alone.
Innocent love untainted by the unfaithful coos of a third party.
She calls, begs, and pleads for me to return to her.
But I am a child again, this is my
second chance at life.

Be gone, leave.
Return home to your master.
Don’t tell him hello for me;
I’m no longer wrapped up in his
fantasy lust for me.
I have chosen Him who has chosen
Death of Himself over
the death of me.
I don’t want you around any longer, you temptress.
Leave quickly, for I am the salt of the earth,
and I will torture your open wounds.

You're coffee and a cigarette on a hot sunny day.
Right before the sun hits the sweat beads just to be swept away by the tossing and turning from unfamiliar light.
You're the drawn out stretch, the first day breath, the belated sigh of loneliness.
You're the reason the moon kisses the sky before the dark even has a chance to.
You're the shutters and the smiles cast into the late night before residing with a lover or a pet.
In all honesty... You're the one person i'm terrified to forget.

The morning brought this different sort of light.
My view on the world was never the same.
You told me all these things and to me, I
was forced to believe. I watched you from
the corner of my eye as you'd drive. You
held my hand on the seat between us... I
could see all these worries in your eyes but
every time you'd say "No, i'm fine." I sat on
the seat as your father cooked, watching his
worn, tattooed hands move as he smiled.
You later told me the restaurant would be
closing and you feared the addiction would
enter his mind once again, All I wanted to
do was ease yours. Though I loved you so
I had to let you go, I couldn't put you in the
way, I couldn't let you become victim to me.
To the real me. It was the hardest thing I ever
had to do. Your father was me and I was he.
You hurt and I didn't want to be responsible
but in the end it was worse. I'll always remember
your eyes in the morning light and your skin
against mine but in the end... I know you'll be
fine.

I said that I would wait.
I put it down in words.
Even though the distance was slowly and painfully beginning to settle in,
I said I would wait.

I promised that regardless of what happened,
I’d wait,
Because somewhere, deep inside me, I knew we were worthy of it.

I returned,
Heavy bag in hand, tired eyes, heart full of hope,
But you weren’t waiting.

You stopped waiting.
You didn’t even have the courage to tell me about her.
After all our history, the years, the growing, the learning, the tears,
I thought you’d maybe wait.

But you didn’t.
You were gone before I could even touch you, smell you,
Hold you.

You didn’t wait.
And now, I sit here.  
I sit and wait,
I wait…
And wait…
But I’m not sure what I’m waiting for.

Because you were gone before I could even whisper “wait”.