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 Dec 2012 Amanda Fletcher
DG
love is like a web
that people just keep spinning
The way a moonflower shies from the sun
So I shied from you
Turning my face away,
Placing myself in shadow
So that your light would not penetrate me.
In shadow I remain, until the night arrives
When I look to the sky,
Reaching for the moon and
The only light I can grasp to,
Wanting to scream into the torturous quiet.
Not that I have nothing to say
my words are meaningless in your presence

I have nothing to give
my worth is ashes around the fire,
the heat-waves around the sun
as you are the sun

I am an entity filled with desire
thousand and one desires in one
My belongings are grains of sand, washed away
at the touch of your oceanly waves
The heat of my soul, the energy in my eyes
all drained - courtesy of your coquetry

Drunken, weak, drained, and indigent
wondering if I stand a chance

silly me.
If I was a mermaid, would you be my sea?
Salty and warm and cradling me
Across your reefs of beauty and wonder
Within your mystery I would discover
Life in your waves in your sands in your eyes
Loving you always despite the lie
That for forever you'd be my sea
Salty and warm and cradling me
I am not a diamond
I am not glistening, not desired by many.
But I do think I might be coal
Seen as useful by some
*****, disgusting, polluting by others
And if you put me underground
The weight of the earth pressing in on me from all sides
Just maybe I could be something pretty, wanted.

Maybe I'm like black coffee
An acquired taste, not enjoyed by many
One even myself cannot stomach.
(What does that say about me?)
And I desperately fill myself with words and pictures
Soft and beautiful like gossamer and lace
All of the things I am not
In hopes that I will be sweet enough to drink.

Perhaps I'm a portrait, all broken brush strokes
And darkened shades of pthalos
And the voice drifting past say how beautiful it is
And how they can't wait to see it when it's done.
But it's already finished
They simply don't like to believe something that dark and eerie and broken
Is not a work in progress.

I guess this is just my fate
to be surrounded by people waiting for me to become something more than I am
Something less dark and broken
Something more delicate and beautiful
Something sweeter.
But they'll all leave in time
When they realize this is actually who I am
And that I'm not unfinished.
Hurry, before apathy is at your feet,
And you're a cold soul to the radio, but not for long.
I'm shoulder deep in bad intentions, but I’ve paid to play,
And now I’ll play with those who have the most to say,

But I don't really want to sit here anymore,
And listen to your failed attempts at a metaphor...
I hate to see you go..
tried to wash away the memory
as the weeks into months they blurred
unfulfilled dreams now forever lost
weigh heavy on the lips of words

a steeled veneer to protect the soul
self-made iron of unfiltered grace
shattered like a pane of glass;
the rubble that is laid to waste
fills countless endless self-dug holes

to accept the fate of solace
to descend the fires with no sound
to caress the blonde wisps of hair remaining
before being buried in the ground;
this was yours to bear alone

chances are a fates divide
in the dark the demon drink is dwelling
deep lies the dragons breath inside
for a stolen heart
left to mourn its own swelling

so much to forget
a simple gentle touch
a kiss is but a whisper now
who has forgotten how to weep
still remembered
as if it were only yesterday;
the memory will never fade
and was never yours to keep
There was never a doubt because she let me know
In every unspoken. Term. Every nuanced  flutter.

Deep ****** free fall that I craved and flew across the city
The cities my love
At the end of the week breaking the limit. Navigating the
Madness. Every stoplight was my sworn enemy. Every
Hindrance was anxiety past bearing.

The countdown.
By miles
By minutes.
By block


By street. My fix was ever near . With shaking hands

I climbed the stairs two for one.  
I could see every loving sweep and curve of her neck.
The tilt of her head. The space between her brow. Now.

Just a hearbeat or two.
Just ring the bell. Wait anticipate.
Sharpen the pain.
Hieghten  the pleasure .Oh my love if you only knew.
Though I. Have professed my love in every way and still.
My words just can't say what my heart knows.

Anything that can be done I have done
And will continue to do .You see. I Listen keenly for the every request of
Your heart.


Your body.

Your body language is well spoken
and I listen keenly.
Required to anticipate .
Your hands my love
Your arms my love.


Your sway my love
The pulsing of your heart.

Sends me to
The smooth expanse of you as you recline all over my mind.

Now the moment of truth sharpens my senses as you
Part your lips to speak a melody.
Symphony.
UN
Bearable.

This is my purgatory my love.Sure as night finds day
You will go away and I cannot stay. We were never meant to be.
Poison is what you are to me
With no malice or intent.
Cry and then repent this stolen love.
Never to be
Not to be
Can never be.
So drown me in your love my sweet
Make my useless life complete
And give me all of you now and forever
Stay in my soul.
That is what I. Need to last a lifetime without you.
 Dec 2012 Amanda Fletcher
Day
I want cheesey garlic bread!
alas, it's all that's in my head-
and if lactose I could tolerate,
this might not be such a debate.

though I'm sure my body could conform,
but it's taken this long to reform!
from the **** and mucus that is dairy,
that will surely turn your knuckles hairy.

I'll eat a piece of gluten toast,
for it only makes my tummy bloat,
but from cheese I must stay far away,
unless I want my **** to spray.

it's a sign, I think, that my body rejects
such a harmful product, my body protects
but god ****** I want garlic bread,
the cheesey kind, it's in my head...
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