The first time I fell in love
was with a boy who made me feel like galaxies
when I was barely a star
but it burned out and wasted away
and I was left to slowly decay

The second time I fell in love
was with a boy who gave me comfort
when I was still a broken bone
he gave me safety and sweet lullabies
but failed to see the fire burning in my eyes

I wondered for ages what I did wrong
to make these two boys forget I was strong
and I wondered why I just didn't belong

Until I found this new boy
who I fell in love with, too
a boy who shows me everything
from a different point of view
that love can be more than just
comfort, ego, and lust

He makes me certain
that galaxies aren't the best it gets
when the universe is at my finger tips
He gives me hope that there's more
than just what meets the eye
there's more than just a starry sky

I know this boy is my whole world
because I see oceans in his tired eyes
and diamonds in his crooked smile
roses grow inside of his heart
that spread like a wildfire to my veins
I no longer feel like a mistaken mess
all because of you.

there's a strange place in my heart
for people like you
who turn sunny skies gray
and usually i'd call you a man
that has the ability to ruin my life
but not anymore
and i know that each passing day
is just another excuse to walk away
i hope that you can see
the tiny glimmer in my eye
behind rough lies and vindictive words
and i hope when you realize
that i'm better off without you
you'll stop running away
and treat me like i'm not your little girl anymore

as long as you're by my side
there's nothing that I shouldn't hide

and while you rest in this life we've built
ridding yourself of yesterday's guilt

I wait until your storm is over
don't look away until your know her
and i know that you are a few months sober
but wake me up in mid-October
to the only time I feel alive
so you and i can just survive

i'm patiently waiting for the first breath
of lukewarm air to my swollen lungs
that heave to the sound of crickets chirping
and fire burning
i'm abandoning my frozen corpse
that lays here in purgatory
to let in a light
that pumps clean blood and fresh air
so that i'm no longer forced
to breathe for a life that i don't want to live

maybe wherever you are
there is greener grass
and brighter skies
that compliment your crooked smile
and tired eyes
and i'd like to think
that you are every star in the sky
but not even the sun
could compare to your light
that everyone could see
only when it was too late
talking to the angels
seems more romantic
knowing that I could be talking to you

I'm sorry that I can't be your sunshine
because I'm basking in mine
I wish you could lay with me
so the heat can penetrate your heart
with warmth and sunlight
I want you to feel the life
that swims through my veins, now
so you can understand
that it does get better
and this lurid battle you fight
every day of your life
is ending before your very eyes
so that you can join me in the sunshine
to finally feel what you thought
couldn't possibly be real

today i am a hole
i am a relapse of yesterday
and last year
I am not the light i've come to see
i am darkness
engulfing my heart
and turning it blue
so it can slowly freeze over
to bring me back
to times i thought
would never be seen again

I've been drinking about you baby
trying to drown you out of my head
but the poison makes you stronger instead

I've been smoking about you baby
inhaling you into my lungs
i miss the feeling of touching each others tongues

I've been pill popping about you lately
to make me feel more numb
the fact that i still need you is really pretty dumb

maybe it's the way you write
the curl of your smile
or the glimmer in your eyes
maybe you take me back
to times long forgotten
and words left unsaid
the words that I don't have to say
because they are running through your head
maybe you remind me
of the way I used to cry
and somehow you make understand
the reason i'm alive
you give me this feeling
of past understandings
and I presently accept
that maybe you carry
behind a heavy weighted mask
the color I've been looking for
pumping blood to one another
so I can fall asleep just right
in your arms tonight