how deep is deep enough?
how far will I sink?
will i touch the bottom before my lungs
have no oxygen left to drink?
will i just dissipate into the water?
they say 70% of the earth is made up of the ocean
and I too have 70%
I think I'll blend in nicely

once upon a fallen dream
i had forgotten how to scream
life is cold and infinitely mean
are things really as they seem?


trapped inside this empty cell
there is no way that i could tell
which way to go to escape this hell
what would happen if i fell?

tumbling out of control
my breath is taken from me, stole
where do i go to seize my soul
i need something to fill the hole

if I ever reach the light
will you even reveal my knight?
will my eyes ever regain their sight?
can i even win this fight?


such a cruel spiteful jailer
my stripes were sent to the tailor
wish this was just a movie trailer
face to face with my impaler

into the mirror i stare

my reflection i cannot bear

there’s someone with so much despair

and no one bothers to care

i lost the battle of life

bled out cause a kitchen knife

my mind was riddled with inner strife

my stiff body fell with lithe

cold and dead I lie

no one dares to cry

my soul is free to fly

and there’s not need to try

with such grace i was set free

it took dying for me to see

no longer trapped like a bumblebee

i have found the once lost key

the silence brings me comfort

i no longer have to suffer

your days on this foul earth are numbered

the truth will be uncovered

beauty once vain now is pure

happiness comes , this i ensure

for the plague of life, death is the cure

but to life you’ve become inure

you don’t have to sit through hell
NOBODY hears you when you yell
is there a reason for you to dwell
there is none that i can tell

peace will come if you give in
they say suicide is a sin
then you should proudly sin with a grin
go on, take those pills with gin

one after one i coach them
my pleasure is when they’re condemned
i tell them that death is their friend
but death isn’t even the end


such a clever one aren’t i?
wonder where you go when you die?
silly beings think that they shall fly
i enjoy watching them try

but he saves us from your reign

all of your efforts are in vain

because you have already been slain

Jesus Christ will always reign

Savior cradles me in his arms

i was once caged behind bars

but through him  i was set free

not bound by rules

i am safe with him for eternity

i was trapped with rules of verse

but my savior broke that curse

didn’t know what  i was worth

there was purpose for my birth

my sin through him was forgiven

now what is in store for me is unveiled

your instructions to get here are detailed

it’s simple just accept the gift

heal the hole, your God sized rift

ask him for his forgiveness

and he will rid you of your sickness

trust me, i’m an eyewitness.

things seem to lose their meaning after a while
but not you
i guess i lied
in the letter i wrote you
maybe i can't
push my feelings aside
it's easier when you're absent
because then i forget
but when you come back
the progress i had made
gets thrown away
the rewind button gets pressed
and i can tell you're not impressed
because who am i anyways?

weird
is looking at someone you've know your whole life
and realizing that they are a stranger
hurt
is realizing that maybe they didn't want you to know them
confused
is wondering how easily the person you knew was replaced
curious
is wanting to know who this new person is

it would seem
that i am at war with myself
half of me wants to leave you behind
the other half knows that isn't quite right
because I don't want to be someone
who walks away too easily
i am a fighter
but half of me is defeated
say something i'm giving up on you
but i won't give up on us
who would i be if i left when
times got rough?
it just feels like i have a lot of love
and i'm not sure it's worth it
not that you're not worth it
but maybe i'm not
not worth
a second
of your time.

i fear that i have met my soul mate
and he has not met his
thousands of miles away and yet
by his words alone
i am sure
and my soul mate is not the man i claim to love
he is a stranger
walking down foreign streets
with scars on his heart that look similar to mine
but he only faintly knows my name
and i doubt he could pronounce it
that's the trouble with poets
they can capture your heart from miles away
behind a computer screen
i fear that i have met my soul mate
and he
has not met
his.

i can't tell if you're gone for good this time
or just testing my patience
that's how it is with you
you give me just enough to want to hold on to
but not enough to actually hold
all i have is shreds of the paper in your binding
enough to piece together some things
but not enough to tell the full story
they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder
they are wrong.