you have left an imprint
on my heart
and no matter how hard i try
to forget you
like you did me
little things remind me of you
they keep you just a phone call away
a three minute walk from my front door to yours
the snow on the ground reminds me
of your promise to have a snowball fight
and my promise that i would surely win
it's hard to forget someone when
all the memories you made
were close to home
i want to move far away
i'm suffocating under the pressure
of the constant reminders
because all around the neighborhood
are reminders of you
but it seems that the story of us
is one you have forgotten
there are no memories
but you're everywhere to me
and it's getting hard to see
i need time to
breathe
i'm gasping for air
desperately trying to push them away
but i'm drowning
and home never felt more oppressive
and the reminders make me feel
obsessive
but is it really too much
to ask you to remember that i exist?

normally i'd expect
a
"hello"
or a
"how are you doing?"
but from you
i have learned even that
is too much
some people you just have to learn
not to expect
anything from
because your expectations
will only lead to                  disappointment
there's no need to be disappointed
if you expect
nothing
so i have given up on you
don't feel the need to apologize,
i don't expect much
especially
from
**someone like you

don't get too attached to me
i'll distance
myself


from




you

                        up
my guard is          

my strongest soldiers are just watching
waiting to tear
y  o   u
                                              a  p  a  r  t

so­ don't get to attached to me
because i won't ever feel the same
there is a barrier intact now
that barrier that only seems to crumble
when |he| is around
he will always be a mystery to me
and maybe
that's what gets me
he's the book i want to read
but he's unattainable
i've read merely a few chapters and i'm hooked
but the library wanted him back
i could no longer read him
late
my book overdue
and i knew that date would come
they never marked it in ink
but it was etched in my bones
i could only renew
for so long
and then eventually his pages were no longer mine
my borrowed time with him was over
a late fee lingers over my heart
but every now and then
i borrow him again
i steal glances
but lately, i can't seem to read but page at a time
i've left plenty of books half-read
and had no problem with it
but he is encrypted in my binding
his name written on the pages of my heart
and i can't seem to put him down
i too, am a book
and i realize that we are separated by genre
he's in science fiction
and i'm  historical fiction
once, i read a book that combined the two,
it was beautiful
and maybe i was hoping
we too(two)
could be
beautiful.

and i am no longer
underneath your spell
i feel numb
but it's hard to tell
will this last?
or will i ease back in
or is my pain just masked
i can't tell because  of how long it's been
how long has it been?
long enough, that's for sure
i have long since felt abandoned
i have long since been taken in
but i don't know how to feel
without your spell i am numb
will i resist or easily succumb?
i am reminded that even though
it might provide pain
emotions are beautiful
it might be nice to feel again

this is my slogan
can i make it true?

Reasons to give you up:
1. i don't think that you could ever give me
what i **need
and i don't ask for much
2. you make time for the people
that you care about
3. if i forget about you
time will heal my battle wounds
and they won't be ripped back open
4. there are plenty of people
who want my time
(I just don't want theirs)
5. i'm not very patient
and weeks
feel like years
6. you probably couldn't feel the same
7. i was foolish to try

Reasons to wait:
1. you have my heart
2. your smile
3. your laugh
4. your passion
5. the way that you look at me
when you think i don't notice
6. the truth in your eyes
7. even after all this time
you still captivate me

can somebody give me a tie breaker?

and you make time
for the things that you want to do
you make time for the people
you care about
even on your busiest of days
if you cared
you would make time
but my time with you
has run out
there is no longer
any time for me
in your day