and even though we speak in the same language
we are worlds apart
and how i wish that i
could be the one
to warm your tired heart
i wish my words could chill your bones
but maybe our paths
aren't meant to intertwine
but your words tear me limb from limb
they are the ocean that i'm sinking in
and i THOUGHT that i knew how to swim
but your ocean is violent: grim.

now as i walk these familiar halls
i am a stranger
and the feeling i have is odd
it's like i'm out of place
a puzzle piece that doesn't belong
walking through these halls
has never felt so wrong
it's like there's an ever going song
and i am a note in the wrong key
it would sound better if i would just
leave
and soon enough it will be over
but i found out what i already knew
these hallways are strange now
i shouldn't be here.

It was only a matter of time
before you forgot about me again
have I ever meant anything to you?
or am I just a disposable friend?
and try as I might
I'm not good at playing pretend
how much time will it take
for this broken heart to mend?
i gave you my all
in everything i wrote
and all the rest of my words
are now caught in my throat
your silence is chilling
will you lend me your coat?
for now i make my own warmth
i won't try and share yours
forgive me for trying
to break through closed doors
the look in your eyes
took me further than the shores
i know you're an ocean
there's more to you than i see
my boat capsized
you threw me out to the sea
and somehow i think i knew
we could never be.

And somehow
i will strip myself of you
i will remove your name
from my lips
i will no longer speak your name
i will remove your name
from my heart
i will have no attachments to you
and it might take a while
because it's been a long time
but somehow
i
will rid myself of you
but i'm not saying that when someone else speaks your name
i won't still smile
or if i see you around i won't say hi
but i'm stripping myself of you
no longer will i be the one to try
i'm stripping myself of
you

Two am sleep habits are tough to break
"I'll go to bed early" I say
Yet here I am
Awake
The witching hour has yet to come
And I'll never wake up before the sun.

The cure to 3 am sadness
tylenol pm at 10.

Three am sadness,
This is new
I'm not usually up past two
My eyes are swollen
Tears betray me
Tossing and turning
My eyes are burning
And while I might not seem broken
I leave plenty of things unspoken
All my ghosts have come out to play
Haunting, teasing, taunting me today.