i am
nothing
but
a mess
in all senses of the word
clumsy and awkward
not beautiful
or graceful
not the kind of girl
that people write about
i'm the girl who never has anything fully
together
procrastinator
with a slight lisp
clothes slightly wrinkled
never get enough sleep
sharp enough to make you laugh
but not enough to capture your soul
i am the laundry you dropped behind the washer
loved but forgotten and worn
i can't take your breath away
or make your heart skip a beat
i'm not the kind of girl who is etched into your bones
not the kind of girl who you might call home
and if i manage to capture your heart
i'll never capture it fully
because i'm the kind of girl who never has
anything fully
together.

Why didn't I just open my eyes?
Because how much you care
is a reflection of your time
and you used to give me the
time of day
but somehow I seem to have faded away
you don't care
at least not anymore
because there's no time for me
in your day
and I guess...
i guess that's OKAY
because things happen
and friends
become strangers
and maybe we were never meant to be more than that
maybe we were destined to be
strangers.

I don't want you (wrapped around my finger).

please don't lie to me
don't tell me you're going to do something
and not do it
please prove me wrong
because now
i'm seeing that you're probably the same
same guy
different name
same crap
different day
but it's not supposed to be this way
so please
prove me wrong.

what is it
that I am even holding onto
anymore?

sometimes i forget that i'm letting go
because when falling away from you
i sometimes grab on again
and i try climbing back up
to where i was
but i keep slipping farther
and the rope burn only gets worse
my hands are bleeding
but my stubbornness won't let me
simply let go
not without a fight
because i can't let anything just be
easy.

i did my time
and now i am free
i can fly far away
with my un-clipped wings
i am no longer caged
i am free to roam
less time will be spent
lingering at home