forgetting you,
are you forgetting me too?
or do little things
still remind you of me
because i am reminded
constantly
do you look for me
in crowds of people?
hoping that maybe,
we might cross paths?
because i'm no good at forgetting
i just keep thinking about the past
i miss our long conversations
and how easily you made me laugh
but now it feels like
we're not even friends
this time things are different
this time there's less effort
and i'm trying to not try
but i don't want to say
goodbye
i've never been good
at letting go
so maybe i need a push.

but I'll be okay.

i am finally getting used to
the absence
of
you

chasing the sun

i broke out in a run

i'm in a full out sprint

i'm in pursuit of the wind

the sun went away

the sky has turned gray

rain pours out of clouds

all there is is now

i have to be brave

break out of my chains

now is where it begins

now is where it ends

how are you?

i love to read
because I can wrap myself
in the security of
someone else's story
i can envelop myself in the warmth
of the characters who become
friends
and when the book ends
i feel
saudade
a nostalgic longing to be near again
to something
or someone
that is distant,
or
that has been loved and then
lost;
"The love that remains"
and that is the best fit definition
i could find
because that feeling feels so
indescribable
but characters become so real
they become friends
and family
and you can't help but feel
after the story is over
*and then the process repeats.

sometimes i run my mouth
just to hear myself talk
sometimes i say things i don't mean
just to see if you were ever listening
and i promise you this
my mouth will be the death of me
awaken me with a kiss
the wicked witch put a spell on me
and if i do something bad
my mouth is sure to tell on me
because sometimes i can't feel
but i say something anyways
just to fill the air
just to let you know
i'm still
there
and sometimes i get scared that if i don't talk
you'll forget me
so i'm sorry if any of the words i say
are empty
i have this horrid fear of being left
and forgotten
it's a silly fear
but it makes me feel rotten
so every once in a while
let me know that you care
because anxiety gets the best of me
and then it takes the rest of me
and that is when i feel
and it's terrible and you can't imagine
how hard it hits
but i can tell you that it hurts
but it's an easy fix.