you have big dreams
i'm just living
compared to you
i'm insignificant
what good can i bring the world
except a smile
and a poem
but what good is that at the end of the day
what lives can my words save?
i can't help
but feel helpless
where do i have to go in life
i just feel lost
need a compass
maybe you can give me a map
or a gps
where do i go from here
the Cheshire cat would say it doesn't matter
as long as i get somewhere
i would beg to differ
give me a tour guide
to take me through my life
because i'm feeling lost
and it's making me cross
but we're all mad here
and maybe madness is driving this fear
i don't want to get stuck
so wish me luck
when you leave me for your big dreams
i'll be bursting at the seams
or maybe that's just how it seems
why does art feel like it's so unimportant
it's all i can do, i'll draw you a portrait
i guess you could say that it helps life's endeavor
but there are people in my position who can do it much better
so i sit here
sorry for myself
my  BIG dreams are for my book
to be on a shelf
the book i haven't finished
because it's all that i have
and i feel my dreams diminished
i don't know who i am.

frozen.
i see you
and i forget things
like how to talk
because i'd rather listen
how to feel
i just go blank

thawing.
now that you're gone
i can think again
please come back?

sometimes i get scared that
you won't be there
so i try and look for
a back-up plan
there are plenty of options
to fall back on
but i don't want any of them
so stay with me from dawn
to dusk
each and every day
i'd be called lady luck
and if i can light up your face
like you light up mine
it's  only by grace.

Spend the night with me
we'll cuddle
and tell each other bed time stories
and we'll fall asleep
intertwined
you made your way
into my heart
have i even scratched the surface
of yours?

too many nights
spent alone
too many weekends
wasted at home
i need something new
i need an adventure
my heart is thirsty
be my quencher
so take my hand
and lead me somewhere
show me something
and nothing can compare
take me somewhere thrilling
adrenaline pumping
or bone chilling
there is no other person
that i'd rather be with
not much to say
you just gotta believe it
just being with you
is an adventure itself
better than reading that book on the shelf

still taboo
but not really
needle inching in
my skin
permanent
marking
my body is just another journal
waiting to be filled
with thoughts
ideas
pictures
and who are you to tell me
what to put in my journal
i'll fill it where
society says
so i can hide it
for a job
but I will fill it with the things
that make me tick
i wear my heart on my sleeve
so why not put my journal
on display
too.

you never let me win
with you it's always
a fight
and apparently i'm never
right
you can't just let things go
and i suppose i'm just as bad
i push you trying to win
trying to have my way
for a moment
we're both acting like kids
but you never just say
drop it
you have to be right
even when you're wrong
and don't get me wrong
i love you to death
but arguing with you
is leaving me out of breath
can you just not for once?
can you just let it be
because i wouldn't argue
if you didn't ALWAYS disagree
and sometimes i don't tell you things
because you're like this
and how could i tell you it'll end up in fists
and i know i'm bad at it
and i haven't confronted you
but i don't want to make you mad
but it's gotten really bad
to the point where i like time away from you
better than time with you
are you mad because i'm leaving
i won't be too far
i just need room for breathing
need room for change
and staying here would be the definition of insane
doing the same thing
everyday
expecting things to somehow change
and i don't think you understand my need
maybe you have it too
but my soul is starving
i'm not trying to leave you behind
i'm just running on a new path trying to find
who i am supposed to be
and there's still time
to catch up to me
things won't be as bad as they seem
i just wish that you could see