When I am on my knees I don't see myself so tall any more
I am looking up from this ground while I lay down my knees on the floor;
With my hands grasp together for a prayer, will my sins be gone?
Never before I called upon our father almighty and be a worthy son.

And so like an hourglass, this moment's counting down all of my lies
I can see my faint reflection from the tears on the ground straight from the eyes;
I became so ignorant that I found only self-righteous beliefs and deceits
Not one that is lifting my soul but one that is all about dragging someone else's feet.

So I am here in this cathedral alone under his crucified body
I saw myself cry as I beg for my sins to be cleanse with mercy;
If only I can bear the cross that our father held to atone for my sins I would
If only I can say sorry to those people I've done wrong and for them to do something good.

Then this must be the sign to start the act of redemption
For I know in this moment I am having a divine intervention;
Have I mentioned along with me is a caliber .37 loaded with a full chamber
I am so glad I found him and made me realized that my life isn't yet over.

If we are to plunge sinful deep into the fiery pits;
This room is fully empty imma go with half eyelids;
Ten fathoms deep sullen and angst ridden on the roadway to hell;
With a fist full of soul candy that makes your spirit swell;
And on my arrival I will greet the cereberus with my bag of bones;
Filled with much regrets before I prayed for unforgotten atones;
I will whistle my swan song walking across its grotesque corridors;
While wailing souls orchestrating with me as they try to sing along;
I payed my dues..Well not maybe?but who cares to collect? to come to me;
I have been abused feelings misused the attitude branded my character they see;
Too little too early I am too far young to die;
If you gonna be the death of me that is how I wanna go and that's no lie;
So I woke up wrongly in this ****** up world that torns me;
So let me walk my own ******* fate go ahead stop me and you'll see;
Ten thousand chaos in a heartbeat will rain down on you;
From best to worst art of filleting skin,incisions and decapitations too;
Are you impressed where my words came from so undivine and unearthly?;
Google it quick search! every bit returns a seconds worth of zero query

Your immaculate touch and warm embrace
Your my shining light my sweet caress
your burning lips and perfect hips
A little taste is a fulfilling feat
Drenched in saline tumbling fingers down your spine
Dry skin perspires flooded with wine
Sip and lick all the pleasure is mine
I am going deeper while your angelic eyes shine
Oh so smooth your skin feels so very fine
Silent cries begging faster and for more
The earth shakes and crumble while we do it on floor
With bodies intact glued together as one
Every shrug is as hot as **** burning like the sun
Only you and I are the victim who gladly surrendered
Till' the moment it melts and spills, a love to remember

I am falling up while you're breaking down
I am tearing down what we've both built
I am sheltering us from your storm
We both failed to grasp, A new hate is born

Yesterday became a week
As for tomorrow I'll be laying sick
The thousand thoughts of you leaving
Lingers in the room while time passed ticking
A day became years
As for the next I'll be crying without tears
That's how you left with a thorn in my heart
Splintered in a memory constantly tearing me apart

Weak and fragile, my bones are ready to break
Sick and dying, my heart has suffered so much ache
Fill my empty glass with blood and fame
Just to spill it empty and feel more shame
Digging graves at a cemetery fitting myself in
Where to rest?This body of mine tainted with sins?
I realized damnation doesn't really mean facing my end
For me it's a cycle, another limbo around the bend
It goes on like a wheel waiting for a flat tire
I started hating the sun the next morning like a freaking vampire
Cause' knowing it's a walk through hell day by day to survive
Oh **** mate!!!The pain became a pleasure that keeps me alive
******* monsters hiding sick intentions behind a smirk
Never trusted no one, come close and I'll give your chin a kick
It's not that I'm paranoid.. I just don't get it why I am too furious
About the thoughts of how will they betray me next I am so curious
****! I'm off be back in a while...I am signing off and will write later
****!Believe me these days I am like ******* razors and eating papers

Make me bleed baby please,
Make me believe that I still live
Make me need baby please,
Make me know I still want something to give

Make me cry baby please,
Make me feel you closer than the tears
Make me rest baby please,
Make me calm and forget all my fears

Make me break angel please,
Make me know I can be whole again
Make me fall baby please,
Make me realize that I can stand back up again

Make me touch you angel please,
Make me caress your soft feather wings
Make me see the light angel please,
Make me see through beauty in ugly things

Make me kiss you angel please,
Make me quench the thirst through your lips,
Make me hold you again angel please,
Make me soar across heavens with my hands held on your hips

Make me makes me me,
Make me become who I am used to be
Make me make you make me,
Make me believe this is gotta be...

In this hands is a broken home of shattered glass
Tattered memories, a recollection of the past
No hope of recreating what is already destroyed
But I kept holding on, my palms bleed out what are stored
Remember the beauty in what now is ugly
A horrible mess from once that is pretty
Put a little faith on those profound beliefs
That there is a way to patch, a heart to keep
Stop hanging by a thread, stitch them back up with your daily bread
Let it shine out from the darkest night
Be your own star, a sun with the brightest light
A warm embrace may be as simple as it look
If you love each other you know you read her/him like a book
So here I hold, so here I keep the broken glass
A reflection of mistakes this shattered past

There's hole beneath me I can't quite fathom
Until I fell and buried me, then it became a tomb
Holding my very existence of what of my means?
Till' the end, so much questions bursting at the seams
Then I woke up in a dream where I'm still dying
Holding my breath with your air in my lungs, so suffocating
I realized the difference that there are none
Living or dying it doesn't matter just wanna leave and be gone
Off and out of this world far far away from your memory
Somewhere where there's a new me and you in reverse so happy
Together in a book filled with colorful words not in grey
Sometimes I question Love! Cause' it doesn't really know how to pay
Better days drowned along with me drinking gallons of rums
Efforts wasted sacrifices voided into an empty bottle of jams
Where it supposed to flavor the flame with sweetness burning
Not with bitterness of sorrow hate misery and so much aching
Now I'm done writing my complaints for today gotta drift away
I'll bury myself alive with questions of what tomorrow would say

Not for this world we two meant to belong;
Together in each other's arms soon it won't be long;
Close your eyes believe coz' we are not alone;
We are among the many in seek for a place called home;It's where your heart is, as my heart is where yours are;All I can do is to wait for a bit of eternity and gaze from afar;I wish I could drift in space with a map to the stars;Even if it would mean a million years to get to where you are;I'll rally a waypoint and sling myself to move starting from mars;Darling it would be pretty if you could witness how I would go;Maybe a simple hugs and kisses with the 3 little words would do;Where the easiest way could be the most complicated to take part when you are stuttering and couldn't even say the words right;It's just the lack of confidence and self doubts that shouldn't be there that made my lungs tight;I'm choking maybe dying and it ***** if that would be tonight;I'll let the angels sing as they carry on with the last rites;But wait I won't die yet not until I'm actually dead;Not until you hear me out and listen to what I've said;It's lame writing on this paper with my heart inking it;Where you are just on a corner?Why is it so hard for me to approach you and speak?!;**** it!!Here we go!I'm going romantic with each steps so slow so over dramatic;As I drew myself close to you holding my breath is causing me to panic;**** it!Don't hyperventilate steady feet don't fail now;****!I'm gonna throw up!I gotta hit the restroom first somehow

Have you ever tried feeling deprive?
can't reach for something from the other side
fated by choice you never want,
given a life of what they've decide...

Reality masked your pain, dignity and of what remained
are you not just an empty shell?Without a pride or a soul to sell
you cursed the name of the lord in vain!
yet you pray to keep you sane...

So what of now you asked yourself?
just like you asked yourself yesterday,
no matter what, no matter where
you know you'll always be a number...

Words are easy to say but hard to let go
When it comes from the heart to let somebody know:
Of how you are bleeding, hating and falling in love
Just say it to the world that is blind,deft and numb;
Where are all the faces that is kept in this pictures
When your brain betrays you with a memory and you're unsure;
You take a moment to hold your breathe just to feel your alive
And drown yourself to save you is the only way to survive;
The lies you made for yourself that you are not alone
Keeping you in misery and in tragedy where you think you belong;
Is a mindgame you play with yourself, a test of sanity
You lost too much grounds to even find a place for serenity

"The blood you bleed
That I drink to live
The life you lose
From the dead I rose
The Lies you breathe
Where hate gave birth
To chaos, carnage and dread
An endless cycle of nightmares in your head"

I'm on a bed with needles tucked on my skin
With a respirator that makes me breathe from within
In a coma not aware if I'm asleep or awake
This must be a joke! or a nightmare I cannot shake
Ringing and beeping, the chorus of silence
A melody of my heart's beating without the essence
Life is not a waiting room and here I am dying
So this is how it sounds.. when the life-clock's ticking

"Forward Unto Dawn,
           The Coming Of The New Age
                       Twelve-Thirteen-Fourteen"

Rain is pouring, the whispers of October
Dripping memories of what we have to remember
Falling asleep by the windowpane
While trying so hard to forget all the pain
By drowning the sorrow and emptiness with tears
Along with your loneliness, heartaches and fears
Enough is enough no more hearts to suffer
Listen to the voice the whispers of October

I'm watching me watching you watching me
Through a mirror a faint reflection of us to see
I gazed upon the world of perception
A view of us together in complete perfection
The silence became our sanctuary
As this moment became eternity
No longer the coldness remain
I took a picture and have us framed
A different view of me and you
A kaleidoscope of colors white and blue

Crash and burn all our memories just died within
Crooked smiles replaced the honesty that we once wore
No saving us, it's too late we crumbled down to dust
All is lost the love the lust the hate the promises of us
I will love you forever till the end of time
No matter what I'll try to keep you happy and feel fine
If I promised a lie?Then am I worthy to die?
I said ''I'll give up my own life
For you...''
On my knees,the world as our witness with a cheap bouquet of roses
You took me in your arms, you let me in so deep
''Please feel free to bury me the moment I make you weep''
I said, and I did and now here we are facing end
With no return,we are lost tired and broken...
If I promised that lie,Now I am worthy to die along with our memories
So long and goodbye love resent me

"We made promises that we can't break and deny
Cause' they are all empty our love's a one a big lie
Our tears turned into wine that drowns us every night
We sat down together making ripples...The lake of lies"

I'm a leaning tower of words that is bout to crumble and the debris I'll make may worth saving to rebuild a new foundation..I'll keep leaning for the time being and let the gravity of doubts break me down, so when I do I'll learn the next to never let myself fall.. Carrying the weight of the world is no joke when you are accommodating more than you can handle, and the irony of doing so is the fact that among those bunch of people not a soul could give the same **** and struggle you are going through keeping you worthy of being attached..Sometimes kindness is a cancer that eats us alive, a sign of being a martyr addicted to caring too much,an open cage where you lock yourself in, a mirror that shows thousands of reflections and none of yours are even present..Being busy bout what others think and feel where you are stuck in a quicksand not knowing to be finally devoured beneath in your own league, a hero's act that needs the saving the most...

I lost my heart in a prison
devoured by doubts and fears
I lost my way of reason
As the dust it never clears
I lost the right to recover
when I drown myself with tears
I lost the will to remember
Clouding my mind for years
Where have you gone? Struggling to remember
What Am I missing?Why am I forgetting
What have I done? Looking for forgiveness
Who am I missing? Why am I aching
Where is the sun? I need to see us clearer
It's you I am missing! When my heart's stops beating
You are the one we need to get closer
closer together and be us forever

Dear Future,
Present may pass
Becoming our past
This too shall pass
The heartaches and goodbyes
Secrets keep you sick
Waiting to unveil with a burning wick
A light from above
Guidance of our God
Will save you a day
To listen and pray
If there's any other way
To fix a broken heart

"Into the dark I journey through the night
In the day I hide from the heat of the sunlight
The death of a living is my way to survive
The blood I borrowed is what keeping me alive

The passion that burns inside me turns to lust
A hunger I suffice when afternoon turns to dusk
I bite I **** I devour I never stop as blood flows
The hunt begins whenever the  darkness falls

Again and again over and over again
The cycle goes on that drives me insane
Madness is what I do so what's the cost of my lament
Is there any way I can stop ?What a silly question to repent"

I want to make love like fire melting the snow of winter;
And turn this coldest night burning like the sun in summer
No longer! Together we will escape the world of hate together;
Join me baby let us unite our heart and stay in this dream forever.

I just want to be with you
Wanted to hold you
The way that I used to

With so much letters written
And not a word is made
With so much hate I'm aching
Best plan she ever laid
The lies as she cheat is growing
My heart is better off dead
But I kept on keeping me going
Till the end, waited for the time she said
'Sorry we can't be together anymore...I love
someone else and you started to become a bore'
That night is the night where I lost control
I went out on a rampage shutting down all doors
I thought about losing her so many times before
But it really weren't that easy, specially her acted like a *****
The day came where she came back begging
With open arms and a tight hug, I'm grinning
What's in my mind is as sick attempt of ******
Only the sufffering is one can bear forever
3 years of silence a masquerade and a dance
Whispering past echoes saying'this is your chance'
Of what to do with my caged wrath?If she is so warm lying on my arms
I am waiting and hating her loving and keeping her off harm
Only to ripen the revenge sweet tasty and profound
And so I'm still waiting..Kissing her forehead and let her sleep without a sound..

Scream till' you can't
Black out, fall down and faint
Sink in, let out and let go
Is the only thing that I ever know

I have faced all my fears
I have poured out the tears
Bleed out dry and let die
crumble down while you try

You have lost all your faith
Your heart is filled up with hate
All hope is gone and you know it's too late
To climb back up, to fall down so accept your fate

We've gave everything till' there's nothing left
We sold our soul to hell to measure its depth
Heaven is so far away locked down in its basement
Here we rest in damnation sempiternal lament

She is not a creator, a follower not a master.
Does it look like the painful wound, but she is the old scar.
Let her see through the Crystal glass,
the radiating lights, the cheerful smiles,
She is a faker love, she knows the vines.
Take her hand and walk through your dark swoon ,
recite your poem and the story of the lonely moon,
And once, let the broken pieces scatter before her............
show your wounded wings, let her be the healer.

"Love love love sets us all in motion
When two hearts unite it's a natural selection
Put a little faith, loyalty and devotion
And you will find a strong build of foundation"

What's left of our memories fallen in ruins are nothing but debris of mistakes and regrets, a remnant of life speaking the truth that we are far more than worlds apart...The closer we get the further we are

I'm sorry for the things I've done;
Our love was strong but now it's gone
Forgive me for the things I've said;
Our love was strong but now it's dead

"As blood runs black
Darker than black
Flesh has been whacked
From front to back
It began to decay and rot
Hanging upside down tied in a knot
This body is long dead and gone
Time of death is approximately half past one"

If I had the chance to hide
All the feelings that just died
Then will you ever seek the truth
Deep within, my love's has been misused

It triggers the chance to survive
Where I am now feeling more alive
Alone but not lonely, scarred and broken
Locked in silence with words unspoken

Three lines to describe this tragedy
I wrote this words and turns it to a poetry
That you are all just like me
Always questioning love and reality

Sorry for whining I am not complaining
I wrote this poem today cause' I am just wondering
Why things happen?Although it comes with a reason
Even from the start we know love can be your poison..

Creeping ‘round the corner of your walls
Silently I wait till darkness falls
Night has finally come to turn me
Into something myself would hate me
Quench the thirst, a bite to **** you
Take each drop that’s how I hate you
I’ll sink my teeth into your skin
And quench the thirst from deep within
You bleed for love I hate to ****
A little slice to fill the thrill
You know this wounds will never heal
The pain and torments are very real
Your love’s like a poison right from the start
Your lies like stakes it pierced my heart

Look alive
Don’t stop breathing now
Hold my hands and we’ll fly away
Shine a light
Don’t keep me locked inside
Hold on tight and we'll fly away
And when you fall
Bound by despair,misery and pain
Hear my call
And I’ll take you there, where it no longer rain

Calm as the sound of the falling leaves
It hits the ground as we silently breathes
The air we shared as we grasp our hands together
A confession of love, a moment that can last forever
But such eternity is just a feeling of expectations
A dream in a world where fantasy is just a chained illusions
Yet from the heart we both knew that it can exist
If we hold onto us we can change the world of modern myths
That this, you and me under the bright blue sky
Is as clear as day with a love that we can't deny
So lets walk a promise that no matter what we won't let go
We'll get through anything with a bond so the world will know
That forevermore is just a heartbeat away that ticks with yours and mine
Put some faith and even in the darkest times a heart can shine..

Only a few are chosen to be whole
And the rest are then thrown in a hole
Those are the memories we tried to forget
And what's in the making that leaves no regret
If you are the piece that fits in perfectly
Would you take my hand and live in harmony?
Or are you just like me trying to find what's missing
It's not always the broken can mend what's already tearing
A saying that would probably get worst every try
One always seek shelter and a shoulder to lean on and cry
When the breaking starts to shatter how can one pick up the pieces?
It's a natural healing, an order that no one suffers an endless stasis
Of emptiness, loneliness and sadness, to many has became a choice
Just have to endure and survive as we always do listening to the voice
Not of the darkness that dwells within us that devours our will
But to the angels singing side by side as you stood on a hill
Where then turn to a mountain, as you build yourself back up
Moulding what was once shattered for the struggle to stop
It has to start on your own to once again be whole stronger than before
Only then you'll find yourself ready to offer, opening up your door

I am staring at my own reflection
Seeing through the eyes of the dead
I am listening to the dead silence
Hearing myself whisper as I scream

I am falling apart my world is crumbling
Down to ashes with my memories left my head
Fading, goes away my existence
Nothing left but a ghost in your world

You are the hearse that carried me to my grave
Your heart is my coffin as I lay for eternal rest
Your embrace, your arms I will miss a sweet caress
Remember my face darling I am now in a better place

This is not the end,this is not a goodbye
We will meet again soon in another life
I will search for you with the scent of your breathe
Let our love pull us back together again in another time

You better run as fast you can
Don't look back cause you won't understand
The terror behind you is hotter than hell
You'll burn like a candle you'll melt and swell

Nowhere to run to, nowhere to go
A place to hide you don't even know
Keep moving forward don't ever get caught
'Cause if it gets you, it will simply turn you to salt

Your legs are weak and you're ready to fall
Don't have the strength to get up or to crawl
Can't process any kind of words, what to say
Cause you don't even have the time to think back and pray

Prepare to meet the wrath of a thousand suns
Dig through the grave of sins where it all begone
This is the end and it's all too late to think of your sons
A damnation of war that can wipe out all of our clan.

With this song let me tell you how deep's my love for you
And with this lines let me deliver the things I'd do for you
now close your eyes and embrace me don't ever let me go
kiss my lips now tell me the desire taking hold of you
this is where we fall deeper in love
dive to an ocean straight from above
This is the place we call our home
we will never be alone
Lets dance inside this song
let the world knows our love's so strong

Remember the love and please forget the pain
And I understand the scars will always remain
I promise from this day to be a better man
"And right all my wrongs and all things that I’ve done
I’m sorry I never meant to hurt you this way
Things happens for a reason it’s all that I could say
I know now the  answers for the things I did
Forgiveness is never easy as I wait here and bleed
Hope you read this letter somehow before you burn it
There’s more to this words inked with my every heartbeat
Take this moment to give us a second chance
We both need saving even just for once"

"You are my something from nothing
My one thing to anything&everything;"

I have nothing left in mind, when your heart is far away from mine...The boredom won't let me think. As emptiness begun to sink.. My words are pointless without someone to tell..Of how you conquered my heart the moment I fell

"The reality about nothing is a false deception of one's mind...There is always a force within everything, something and anything that occurs...Nothing is simply an excuse to escape, a momentarily reason of lacking...For some reason we assume nothing when we find what we need or what we want to see, feel and think is not presented like in an instance a jar of cookies looking in we say it is empty yet there is air molecules tiny pieces microscopic evidence of a physical thing we want to see...In short yup nothing is when our perception couldn't see through what we need to see or failed to see."

Note: I took the time to ponder about writing this just sharing a thought deuces guys "3

I lost my will to write
I hope it's all right
If this paper stayed blank all night
With candles burning out a ticking light
What's in my mind? I've been asking myself all the time
I inked sadness with empty words everyday
Hoping to make sense along with my burdens someday
A drop of salt to each wound just to feel
I sleep awake just to make sure the pain is real
Why so much madness when your trapped in silence?
Within your own walls **** it! All of this doesn't makes sense!
Perhaps I'm losing it! Or maybe I should just let go...
Of your memories move on start anew
Yes! I should do that just so you know
My bed is calling me cause' I ran out of alcohol
This piece of paper as usual to the bin shall fall...

Sorry I must admit I've reached my limits
And couldn't swallow the daily dose of deceits
I am giving up slowly..No this time I surrender
These are the things one shouldn't even have to remember

You buried me deep 12 feet under till' I couldn't be found
You pushed me hard off the cliff, I met the ground without a sound
So much metaphors to describe my anger,torments and pain
I must say you are the best when it comes to driving me insane

Can't explain everything I've been through with you in four simple lines
Lets just say those are the the things a relationship can suffer having hard times
Don't even know why am I even trying knowing you wouldn't even listen
But I hope someday you'll wake up next to nothing and it's me who is missing


Where is this going to end? A simple question full of amends
Not from me, but for you to come clean so we can somehow be friends
But it seems you are the coldest kind of person one can turn to be
I've had enough to worry no more misery cause this is the last of me

"The sad truth about perfection is
that there's no more room for imagination"

And when you fall to give it all
Lose everything to get you through the wall
That divides the truth between right from wrong
And finally find a place for your heart where it belong…

And when you fail from what you believe
Don’t give up and  fight forward to succeed
That there’s no room to wait and time to waste
And now it’s clear…That life’s an endless cycle a one big race

So open up the door and take control
Of what weighing deep inside you let it go
So open up cause’ there’s still time
To what you want the world for you to  find

So don’t give in face your fears
The ghost within that’s been haunting you for years
So don’t hold back free yourself
From the corner of that empty shelf

So write a book  fill the empty
Pages of your life with a brand new story
You’re once lost without a sound
You’re still searching so now be found

You melt the sorrows away
You ignite and rekindled the flame
You burned the bridges to make us stay
where we are is safer from the storm that came

We share the light whenever darkness falls
We grew stronger, time to time we fan the blaze
To never fall apart and be separated as our heart calls
For another night with fire in our eyes with each other's gaze

There's one thing in life with all certainty I know
That right from the start I felt you are the one
If I am wrong and our love turns cold like snow
I really doubt that though for our love shines like the summer's sun