Panic walked into the room
As business like as he could  be,
He only shook a few folks hands,
He doesn't really need to,
He mixes well
Without a touch,
And carries with him friends,
Fear lives within his pocket,
And remains behind
When he departs.


He said,
I've come to take you,
Hold on tight
For now,
'Till I abandon you
To something
Worse,
Sometime later in the night.
Hold on
And pray I drop you in the light.
But be on guard,
My touch remains,
When I have gone,
So watch your back.

the sea broad and dark,
spans the breadth of our romance,
the rain sings your name.

The cold bites
And the wind hisses
The rain spits
And the sun dies
The kids mock
And the teachers gossip
The depression hits
And the anxiety twitches
But nothing
Is as cruel
As you

Does the sun know
What the moon saw
You, in your room
Does it know of how
The loneliness
Consumed your lungs
Does the sun know
That the depression whispers
Almost as loud
As the anxiety
**Screams.

you would think
maybe once
you would break your back
for me
because I
already
paralyzed myself for you

if by senior year of high school
you are tired of your life
make mountains out of mole hills
cut ties with your best friend
because your ex nothing
kissed her on new years
blame them both
don't speak until a year later
tell him you made him
he would be nothing without you
fall for your friends
because you know it will never work
be needy
go to prom by yourself
pretend to rock it
then cry in your grandmas minivan before you leave
burn bridges with your friend group
for no good reason
other than
by senior year you are tired with your life
choose your college entirely on a guy
make sure he is boring
mediocre
and smells of trouble and mental illness
spend all summer trying to make him less boring
convince yourself he is perfect
move twelve hours away
because you don't want to know anyone
hate your roommate
but don't ever give her a chance
get way too comfortable with the boring boy
feel superior
because you're smarter
and you've partied more
steal adderall from the party
because that makes you look cool
give him all of you
mind and body
by that I mean
english papers and shower ***
ignore the signs that he's lost interest
force yourself on him anyway
cry to your friends back home when you're drunk
cry because you are twelve hours away
drink because you are twelve hours away
smoke to stop crying
smoke to stop drinking
don't eat anything
always take the stairs
walk the long way to class
never stop moving
******* are not enough to force up your self-pity
three fingers makes it a little easier
don't look at yourself in the mirror
you are still not good enough for the boring boy
take the blame when he snitches on you
do not fight for yourself
sleep with him again anyway
tell yourself "there is no sin too great"
this is what you wanted
because by senior year you were tired of your life

I miss you
I miss you're touch
I miss you're feelings
I miss how you cared
I miss the late nights we snuck out
I miss the time we had alone
I miss our first date
I miss how I knew you loved me
I miss all the secrets we shared
I miss the movie we watched
I miss the person I fell in love with
I miss the person I will never fell out of love with
I miss the person I want back
I miss you please just take back