me nd you ;
we seem so young,
but I promise you we will be fine.
we'eve been through some things,
being apart for months at a time.
I love you so deeply,
I swear you complete me,
my thoughts of you and my future
have started to intertwine.
being with you is so easy,
you treat me so sweet.
don't worry we don't have to rush.
we have more than enough time
I'm going off to college
I have to learn what being an adult is
i'd just prefer to have you by my side
my heart has been on fire for a minute now,
it's been a couple days and I'm still hurt.
before I found out the truth,
I thought I had nothing to lose
but I lost my dignity
the minute I forgave you.
I fell for your tricks
and I fell for the tears.
I feel like a fool now that it's done.
This feeling in my chest
is something I can't overcome,
because it returns every time
I think about what you could've done.
I wish I would've said goodbye
the minute I found out you lied but instead,
I was the girl that set her pride aside.
Now I can't trust a word you say
and I question you every day.
I gave you everything I had to offer,
every ounce of love and trust in my bones.
All it did was hurt me and stick me with the thought
"why couldn't I have just left this boy alone"
The words you throw are impeccable,
whole and innocent.
But some of them seem tainted.
tell me what is your intent.
Are you looking for something serious,
it's what you've said before.
Or are you lying through your teeth,
getting what you want
and then walking out the door.
I ask these questions to protect myself,
or maybe because I'm scared.
I've fallen madly in love with you
and I don't like to share.
Can I trust you with my heart,
I mean I know you've had it for a year.
My anxiety is kicking in
and I apologize
I went through this once before,
he hurt me and I trusted him..
as you throw your life away,
your kids cry themselves to sleep hoping you're okay.
we pray for your well being
because you tore your bracelet off.
you spend your time fleeing.
months without talking to you.
we don't know if you're dead.
and there's so much going on,
we don't know where you lay your head.
you left your responsibilities.
we're trying to pick up the slack.
I just wish we knew where you were at..
The start of my life was built on lies.
you didn't want me, but then you did,
and then you disappeared.
I asked mom about you,
I saw the heartbreak in her eyes.
When you showed interest again,
from you, my mom tried to hide.
You reached out to me and I didn't know.
I didn't realize that you preyed on me because I was shy.
I favor Mom, I can't be silenced.
I speak and I am strong.
Although I did cry that night.
I thought you had changed,
but I deep down I knew something was wrong.
I should've listened to that voice inside.
I just wanted you to love me, Dad,
but not because of our ties.
Not because of who I looked like.
I remember everything that happened.
I remember looking in your eyes.
I saw the storm,
I saw the lust,
I saw the moment you knew you broke my trust.
I'm sure you remember that night,
and I know you knew you were wrong.
You knew what you were doing that night because you told me I looked like Mom.
you still haunt me to this day dad.. thanks.
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with this anxiety-ridden,
confidence lowering relationship of ours.
With each insult thrown,
and questionable action that I see,
I replace it with how it used to be.
I replace it with your words before:
"beautiful, smart, everything you wanted and more..."
I tell myself things will get better,
even though I know they won't,
but each time I bring it up you silence me
and you bring out the word hope.
"have hope in us, please don't give up"
every time you say that I push this metaphoric stick further in the mud.
and when it comes down to it,
I'm like that stick,
I am strength.
My whole life I have been looking for stability and support.
Completely blind to the power that I hold.
I told myself that I needed my father.
because not having one means i'm a '*******'
A word that was meant to describe children like me.
But children like me had no choice,
we're subjected to a word because of our parents decisions.
Instead of being subjected to a word that describes ourselves.
I've made it far knowing he didn't want me,
I did this on my own.
So I will not be subjected to the word '*******'
Instead I prefer 'Strength'
we're more than our parents decisions and mistakes. we define ourselves, so choose your own word and wear it proudly.