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Chaste Love,
Youthful but so careful with fear,
Of falling too far,
To only be stricken with tears.

A chaste love,
Far and far fetched,
Falling quickly for the ideal,
But never so quickly for the catch.

A boy I had always sought,
Never knowing I had sought one at all,
Until, like thunder, you came crashing,
Tearing, and annoyingly ripping,
At all these stone built walls.

A boy I had known,
A boy I had known to never be the end,
A boy, only if I’d known,
My heart would always give it’s best to defend.

A stupid boy.
Dumb in many sorts.
Who threw around accusations,
And judgement of many sorts.

A boy who struck fire,
To an often dead and frosted heart,
And at many time,
Tore it and ripped it quite apart.

Stupid boy, who came quite frankly,
Stumbling in my world,
Who danced on my patience,
And laughed when my anger curled.

Who understood my indifference,
When I did not,
Who looked at my inside,
When I could not.

What stupid boy.
That time can’t seem to forget.
What stupid boy,
That’s place no one can fit.

What stupid boy.
Whom abandoned the only heart who knew him best.
What stupid boy,
That brought a broken heart to it’s best.

What stupid nights,
That poison my once chilled heart,
What stupid feelings,
That tear and shred this world apart.

What stupid man,
As you moved on to bigger things,
What stupid man,
Loosing a love you’ve never seen.

What a stupid girl,
I’ve quickly become,
Surrendering to a heart that’s once again cold,
Instead of the heart,
That stupid boy ..taught you to become.








-K.B
 May 2013 Alison
Charlotte
he looks at her
and she recoils
her bright, nervous eyes
scanning his body
as if she has a
test on it
and she must memorize.
she takes shallow breaths,
teeny, tiny breaths
unable to bring the air
back to her lungs
she doesn't want this
but what can she do
but agree
in exchange for love?
he does not smile
with his eyes
instead he falls down on her
causes her pain
and she closes her eyes
in grief
as he takes her away
Sippy cups to shot glasses
Skinned knees to broken hearts
Puppy love to marriage*

Why must the bliss be replaced with
Remorse and sorrow?
What ever happened to the time of cooties and boys being “icky”?

Soon baby dolls will be replaced with infants,
And sports cars will take the place of your hot wheels.

Sleepovers turn into obscene rumors.
Chubby cheeks turn into eating disorders.


I’m not ready to grow up yet.
I want to stay naive to reality,
Let me stay ignorant.

It’s inevitable that we have to grow up sooner or later
But why sooner than later?
 May 2013 Alison
Caroline
In second grade,
My mom made me wear dresses everyday.
My mom would part my hair down the middle and make two long braids with colorful hair ties.
I would go to school and the boys would make fun of my dresses.
The boy that sat behind me would pull my braids anytime I said something smart.

In fourth grade,
I told my mom I could dress myself, but she still had to approve of every outfit.
I told my mom I was old enough to style my own hair.
I would go to school and the boys would make fun of my weight instead of my clothes.
The boy that sat behind me would sit next to me and call me names for being the stupid one in smart classes.

In seventh grade,
I told my mom that I didn't care what she thought.
I cut my long hair shoulder length.
I started wearing dark makeup.
The boys didn't make fun of my weight but they would ask me out as a joke.
The boy that sat behind me and then next to me, liked me and texted me every night saying how pretty I was.

In the ninth grade,
My mom wasn't awake to see what I wore to school.
I regretted the very day I decided to cut my hair.
The boys that called me fat; left me alone because they found someone bigger to pick on.
The boy that sat behind me asked me for a naked picture and I said no.
He called me a fat, ugly, ***** and never talked to me again.

In the tenth grade,
My mom borrowed my clothes and I borrowed hers.
My hair fell out but I wanted it to grow.
Boys no longer call me fat because they never saw me eat.
And the boy that sat behind me wanted me back.
I cried myself to sleep and hid my wrists in my sleeve.

It's funny how many things changed since the second grade.

*-c.a.
A fetus dressed like a blue bird at night
Lungs that don't have a fight
Wings that cannot take flight
Sweet face with delicate feathers
Touching an spirit with  gods mouth
Magic upon the clouds
With a heart that will not die
But the will to survive
I have a 9 yr old son who has many developmental delays and sensory processing disorders to many to name.  He was 5 weeks premature and paralyzed on one side. I had an emergency c-section do to kidney failure and H.E.L.L.P syndrome. He was like a bird blue like the sky before a storm comes  and the wind comes and sweeps it all away. They brought him back to life two times that day. The pain that day that still resides in my heart. The constant guilt that I sustain. Did I lift something that was to heavy for me? Why did he separate from me in the womb? Did he want away from me that bad? He can move both sides of his body and can play. He gets very angry at me. I have to keep my home safe keep him away from knives. Mental health issues are never nice. As a mother I want to hold him and embrace. Its not been a easy road but life is never easy or so I have been told. We move forward day to day dance on the clouds if we may. The only thing that is blue is his eyes that take me so far away. Thank you for reading this I have never told my story and how close death was for him and I . Peace
 May 2013 Alison
Matt Wootan
Newborn
 May 2013 Alison
Matt Wootan
The see me gaze up, toward the night sky
And in haste, believe they know why
That I make a silent wish on a star
Forgetting what the cold specks are
The bright bold stars we see are cold and dead
Their once proud grandeur long since fled
So I look to the blackness in between
To wish on new stars yet unseen
 May 2013 Alison
Claudia Lewis
Sally invited you
to the very top
Of the jungle gym

She gives an encouraging "come on"
And reaches out her arm
Her hand
Spread out and facing the sky
You grab hold.
The corners of her mouth
Grow to the sides of her face
And her cheeks push up against
the bottom of her eyes
In the most reassuring manner

You turn your head
Towards the sky
And squint
Just to see
the top of the structure
Not an easy task
For a kindergartener
But you faithfully follow your friend
Under the bright afternoon sun

Classmates have shrunk in size
As you peer out
from the top of the jungle gym.
Sally swings up her arm
Her palm
Facing you
You match her gesture
And give it a high five
The corners of her mouth
Grow to the sides of her face
And her cheeks push up against
the bottom of her eyes
In the most reassuring manner.

I am at the very top
Of the jungle gym
With my friend!


"Try out the monkey bars"
Suggests your new found friend
In the most reassuring manner
So you reach for the first bar
Both arms up
Both palms forward
As you attempt to make the jump
Sally waits behind you
Both arms out
Both hands forward
The corners of her mouth
Grow to the sides of her face
And her cheeks push up against
the bottom of her eyes
In the most reassuring manner

Shock as you free fall
Your classmates
Multiplying in size
As the ground moves closer
Pain shoots through
Your body
And your mind
as you land
You are confused
Feeling hurt and betrayed
how could a friend do such a thing?
But then you realize
Your friend never invited you
To the very top
Of the jungle gym
At all.
The corners of your mouth
Grow to the sides of your face
And your cheeks push up against
the bottom of your eyes
In the most satisfying manner
 May 2013 Alison
st64
1.
sterile crowd walks out
cook offers to step in!



2.
sandy shores
silly dreams

hope and fear hold hands
tremulous.



3.
cloaked in tags
covered in labels

RIP-'em  freakin' OFFA ME!




S T, 12 May 2013
dream, dream, dream . . . really?



The coattails of the dream-weaver

up
tired
alone
drowsy
now I see
stand over me
hover above my eyes
wait and watch my lids fall
cast a silent spell of smoky tendrils
strut your presence deep in my psyche
piercing eyes sear the depths of chambers
along the edge of sleep, dance fanciful figures
almost tripping over their feet, in aching frenzy to find
that reach which cascades, dangles all along the lip of reason

all along the lip of reason, all along the lip of reason, the lip of reason

leaving the cusp of awareness, venture below this vague surface
fall airless over rim of closed awakeness, thoughts dying slow
cocooned on soft wisp of dreamy shores, I float
yonder hills beckon so gentle and pastoral
welcoming arms wave on sunny dale
seeming to envelop all fears
offer to swallow dark pain
dissolve mal aches
promise peace
echo love
ride joy
see u
hope
dip


until I get there . . .


(refracted dust)

sullen eyes greet my unopened eyes, yet I see all in my dream
all the answers come flooding; time-frame out of warp
you are just a dire apparition,
you tell me in my dream to stick out my tongue
and I freakin' do it, because I believe in your words
crash!
you drop a ten-pound hammer onto it.

no field of flowers saluting with merry faces
none of jolly smiles
just a knife-wielder, vicious in intent . . .
waiting on nervous springs, for my next move
chasing . . . a fugitive in my own blasted dream
oh heavens, when then is relief?

thus
such vain bidding adieu to impervious dreams.

**** u, dream-weaver!
what a hopeless battle to hold onto the coattails of the dream-weaver
lose my grasp and slide off
slip away

burn AWAKE, cold sweat like fat beads the only proof of the onslaught of a ride with you . . . and the journey's reward?

oh, I can't remember . . .

oh!
and . . . sweet dreams to you, dream-weaver
I'll come visit you tonight . . . in your dreams!
 May 2013 Alison
Lord Byron
She walks in beauty, like the night
     Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
     Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
     Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
     Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
     Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
     How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
     So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
     But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
     A heart whose love is innocent!
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