I want an intervention of memory
I want to restore my own history
I need some sort of upliftment after sitting on the sidelines
I could sleep with you every night and you still wouldn't give me what I needed to keep my dream alive
I can't feel you or even myself anymore, because I ended up floating away
My daydreams don't guide me home
They barely even get me through the front door
I beg my own pardon for I have made too many mistakes
My stomache feels like it has taken to leaches and it glues me to this place
My gut is the rut of stolen behavior
Throwing up pity parties
And making up saviors
Saving me frm rotting away

My tomb stone sits on the edge of my personal expression
A lesson learned in time and in conversation
I cower at the thought of losing my own head
My own mind, and my discipline

I know how to stare him straight in the eyes
I know how to deceive him in between my thighs
I am an angel
I am a sinner, and I know how to strangle time
This is the divine era of modern waste, and sweet sublime
I am practicing a dream
I am in the center of space
I am coming together with everything that will ever take place
I am solid, after being liquid, beaten, and broken
I am here for every day that I choose to own it
I am thankful, full, and full of blood
Without you in my life
I would be drowning in the mud

It was late, and you had fallen asleep early
California love made in a cheap hotel
We started with margaritas in the moonlight
Your new favorite alcoholic beverage
Although, you hardly even started drinking yours
This time when you fell asleep I didn't want to wake you
That was different for me
I just enjoy spending time with you
But seeing you lay on those white sheets practically naked drove me wild
Those baby blue boxer briefs were killing it, those freckles on your shoulders were killing me, you were killing me -but I liked it
Death never looked so good until I saw it in the sea of your eyes

Soul inspired tide of disbelief
Sail me away to the sound of assurance
I long for the desire to aquire a hold
On the creation of my reality
I am the captain of this ship
I am the mighty waves in the Ocean
I am the mermaid singing her way to victory
I am a channel for the unknown knowns
I want to believe in that that is untamed
I want to ride in the storm and face it unafraid
Guide me to the mountainous heaven
That sliver of peace I call my salvation
I will make it home, and it will not **** me
To assure myself of this is the biggest step in my own making of history

I always get this urge to write about pretty and beautiful things
But when I go to write I have nothing to say
I think of the moon and light from the sun
Or sometimes the stars and the constellations
The problem is that I am unaware of my intentions
Then the flow that I follow comes from unattended emotions
Leading to past and unhealed wounds
That I didn't even know still felt heavy and bruised
I am almost dying in places inside of myself
I am recovering memories from straight out of hell
I have named my own demons and chained them to my ribs
I keep them locked in blood sockets and force them to live
Burning in a nightmare I created myself
Its no wonder the moon is no source of help
I have decieved my own eyes, my own heart, my own soul
I have been made a slave to this feeling,
.........

This romance, the dance, this chance
Has left me in the rubble
Climbing mountains, and taking hikes
Feel subtle compared to where you have left me
I stare into the abyss
Wishing for a kiss from someone
Who understands attraction
Who understands reaction
Who takes me for who I am
Not some outdated faction
I am stronger than these conversations
I am more than these personalizations
I am not wrong in thinking I am more than these realizations
These people are not free
They are confining me to their reality
That I want no part in
Where I am not sacred
And I am
I AM AND I ALWAYS WILL BE
But just because you don't understand doesn't mean I don't want you with me
This is why I still hang on to you...

Pressure builds upon my temple,
Like constant rain on rooftops scattered.
The lamps of life draw conversations out of Windows,
Which pierce the night in constant motion.

A hum from the street builds in lonely hours,
illuminates from the pressing weather in decadence.
Perusing it's subtle cry for more in each step,
Breaking off branches too far up to reach.

I watch the light peer from the evergreen,
With rolling smoke from Windows.
The warmth of it sends heavy breathing,
A lapse in function when all else doesn't work.

One day the view of tracks and country winds,
Will see a broken man with fault in trying.
But the less known way brings the only comfort,
The rack to dry this urge to leave.