In the black of night
As hell races on
Youre the first thing
On my fragile heart

This is for you
The one who saved me
I love what youve done
How you make me
Fall in love
all over again

What do you care
That I’ve got nothing to lose?
Nothing and no one precious enough
To want to hold on to?

What do you care
If I disappear
Never made a mark on this world
Just left the same
Broken,
Meaningless
Way I arrived here?

What would you think
If I said nothing at all
Just left you and this place
With no warning at all?

Would you care if I disappear?
Don’t you know that there’s
Hardly anything left for me here?
All I have left is everything
That I pretend is real

Don’t you know how
Much I care?
But not even
This happy feeling
Could keep me holding
Onto the life I have here

Don’t you know
Just how I feel
You’re the last thing
I have to hold on to-
here

Don’t you understand
All the pain I’m in
I can’t stand this
Horribly sad
World we’re living in


I just want this world
To disappear around me
Have everyone go away
I don’t want to be here anymore
I wish these could be the last words I say
Maybe I can hold onto you
Wait until I’m worse off- maybe
Maybe die another day

Erica drowns the
Sorrows of her
Horrible life
In alcohol and
Severa vicious  forms of
Self-mutilation
Such as


Erica jabs sharp objects  
Into soft parts of her skin
Just to watch
uncried red tears
gush out of a
Body too broken to still be here

Despite her hardships,
Multiple suicide attempts
Such as tying a noose around
Her scrawny little neck or
Pulling  the trigger
She refuses to admit depression

When she’s really low
She smokes,
Pops pills
Does everything she can
Just to get high

Her life is a nightmare,
Death no longer an option
It’s cheated her out of the
Happiness of the end too many times
Not even the devil could
Salvage her lost soul

Sold my soul to the devil
Nothing left inside
Wanted to be consumed by darkness
Best choice I ever made
Felt like I had the power
Way too easy to give up on life
Easier to give up on myself
Others never believed in me, so I stopped believing in myself
It made sense to me
Don’t care what anyone thinks
Won’t do something just because I was told to
People are the most insignificant species  
Didn’t have anything left
Anything that mattered to me was already gone
Material objects never meant too much
No hopes- no dreams
Not even the slightest spark of reality
Well I had one thing
I was left with a broken heart
No one has ever really cared about me
Everybody’s only looking out for themselves
They’re all going to get consumed by something much worse than the darkness
Won’t even have a choice
Nothing I said or did ever really mattered
Always rejected by others
Watched chances fade
Gave up on love
(Not something I ever really had)
Expected that things would just make themselves better
Killed my heart
Now I’m emotionless
It’s not like I had anything that mattered to me
Life is the worst thing that ever happened to me
There never really was any path
The whole way was pre paved
Fate and destiny is just a sham- it’s all fake
Everything I know is just an illusion
Finally broke free
Made my choice
Picked my own destiny
Nothing can get in my way now
There’s no more light
I’m getting out of this dark tunnel
I chose to die rather than to suffer through life
Just wanted something better-something I thought was attainable-happiness

You’re gone
So I guess it’s time to say goodbye
And it’s wrong that you’re not standing here
By my side
Forever is too long to wait to see you again
I can’t let go of you or the memories my friend

It’s been too long
Still can’t let you go
I still remember pouring my heart out to you
Telling you every little thing
You would always listen to me
And I always knew you weren’t judging me
What am I supposed to do now
Without you I don’t know who to be
Time still hasn’t healed the wound that you left in my heart

Goodbye isn’t an easy thing to say
Not sure if I’m ready to do that just yet
Maybe it’ll happen another day
Wish it didn’t have to happen like this
This is not the way I wanted to say goodbye
I hope that wherever you are, you’re okay
And not having to struggle to make it through each and every day
Maybe it’s just me
I’m not sure if saying goodbye is going to be okay

Is it finally time to move on
Or is it okay that I refuse to forget you
I need someone to help get me through
Or at least tell me what the hell I’m supposed to do

Tears silently stream down her face
As she takes the razor out
Slices down her thin skin
She slashes down
One, two, three
Ten times

She goes to the corner
Sits alone
Lays her head against the wall
Curls up into a ball


Home alone
Making friends with the wall

Suddenly the bell rings
Her best friend shows up
Ice cream in hand
Waiting to see the
Scars on her best friend

is this what i really want?
                                     do i want the scars to fade way into the stars?
                               so far away that i wont remember what caused them?
its going to feel odd not seeing the fogg every time i turn not feeling the burn that caused them. do i want my memories to fade away so i wont remember the other day when i saw my mom get punched in the face and turned away? yea those were the days i remember it like it was just yesterday dam what a shame he put her through so much pain. He smashed the car into bits it through my mom in ditch man that day was a *****!

You constantly search for
Yet fail to see what is already there.
I thought you knew;
Subtlety is my favorite vice.

I understand your need,
I feel your longing;
You never seem hesitant
To remind me.

Is it so wrong to trust you?
To love you enough to pretend?
I thought you knew;
Martyrdom is one of my many follies.

Just because I do not wince
At every infliction of pain
Doesn't mean I can not feel;
Expression was never my forte.
I do try and, little by little,
I'll prove to you that the "real me"
Is better than the "idea of me" that
You created in your mind.

You, the way you are,
On the other hand,
Are more than enough for me;
I just thought I should let you know.

I am flawed and undeserving, but
Willing to work on myself, on us:
I am yours, you are mine; I love you...
And I will keep letting you know.

My Love
My Heart
My Life
A love hindered is a love with potential.
A love where it is essential to realize that there lies a power within
Where in between there is a tension so thick and that quick our love can be over
My lover, my world, my moon, my sky, my star.
The sun in my sky afar.
Im giving you my all.
As my heart makes its call,
I realize that somewhere the love has fallen short
The beauty has turned dark
The warmth has turned cold
The embrace has turned bitter
A love hindered
A love that is hurting a laugh that is crying, slowly dying, but yet denying that it's losing it's power. It has lost its touch
It has lost itself
It has lost its wealth
Who is the hero of love?
Who can be the hero when the hero knows not what needs to be saved?
A constant dismissing
Of hugging and kissing
Bodies fail to meet
Faces fail to greet
Drawn from a broken heart lines flow
Drawn from a broken spirit lines flow
Drawn from a broken soul lines flow
This love. This love. This love.
It's lost. Gone. Gone. And gone again.
But suddenly breath like wind, takes us for a spin.
And again
Back to begin
Give me your hand
Give me your heart
Give me your body
Your taste, touch, temperature.
A love hindered
It's a love still there
A love that looks up at you as a lost child, waiting for repair.
A love hindered.