Dear friend,

I searched the world for you
climbed the highest mountain
swam the longest nile

Why were you hiding?

I faced horrific demons
swam through trecherous waves
almost drowning in tears of frustration

Where were you?

I heard you were hurting
felt your heart melting
sensed you were wanting

I'm looking... I'm comming

Then there you were
right beside me
within me

You are me..

Because You were everything to me.

Are you determined or terminated.

Will you push,
Will you shove.
Go in strong,
Come out soft.
Go in weak,
Come out free.

Will you push,
Will you shove.
Or will you pull,
Like the strongest.
Gods of men,
Men of children.
Blades of bats,
Books from trash.

Will you grow.
Will you go.
Like the strongest
*Gods of men.

First love.
First lust.

Devotion.
Dedication.

Fate.
Faith.

Screams.
Scars.

Done­.
Dozing.

Old sighs,
New snow,
Old pains,
New morning.

*sip

I feel like a tool,
A pen, knife or wrench,
Applied for her will,
Twisted to her gain,
But I tell you now,
    wing turned black,
I will not let you use me,
    never again will you torque me,
    never again will I bend to your will.
So you know,
    for a handyman,
    you don’t know a hammer from a nail.

i wish i wasn't
so ****
human

Carve me, woman,
Call me a sham.
I donated my care,
I was gentleman.

You built a wall,
You stabbed me,
Ignored, abused, dedicated,
I didn't flee.

I wanted you,
Needed you, Beau,
You were not, but
I was willing to,

      *wait.

today a friend of mine told me that in china
they only say i love you when they really mean it;
she talked about it like it was a loaded gun,
like telling somebody i love you also meant
i'd **** for you, i'd die for you, i'd live for you.

i don't know how to be brave enough to say that
straight, but if i could, i would fly you across the globe
to help you understand.