Alice Julia Miller

Alice Julia Miller Nov 2013

It was
For the record
My idea.

I told you
To write the names
Of people
Who love you
On your arms
Instead
Of
Cutting
Them.

And
Of course
It bit me.

It's never my name
And you
Send me
Pictures
To show
Me
You do it
That it works
But it's
Her
Every
Time.

Alice Julia Miller Nov 2013

Crushing Autumn Forest Silence

My toes
Are frozen
From the harsh
November chill
Cheeks flushed and
I had to hold back
Panting
Breaths
And
SCREAMS
In the darkness of the woods
Yellow beam of the
Flashlight
My lantern and
Faint clicking of
Dog's tags and
Leaf crunching
My guide.

Crunch
Crunch
Crunch
Go the fallen leaves
And what if
I die out here
Or get
Lost
Huddling in the darkness
As the
Beam
Fades
Oh God
The sounds
And what if
What

What

Was

That

A bobbing shadow on a tree trunk
No more, no less
It's the flashlight
Distorted images
I don't
KNOW
But I know I need to get home
With
Or
Without
The stupid
BEAGLE
With the injured
Shoulder
So hurt
He yelps
If you look at it
I don't know
That I
Can trust
Him out there
In that dark night
But I can't
Trust myself
Not to
Panic

Alice Julia Miller Nov 2013

It is very EASILY possible

Do you think
It possible
To
Love
Two people
At the same time?

This is what you asked
In the 4 miles of space
Between us not even
Connected by
Wires
And I feel you didn't even have time to
Think
Before I blurted
Yes

I'm wondering
If that question
Means you're falling for me
The way your kisses always seem to say
And things are okay
But soon sadness of
Winter's past
Will descend on both of us
Mine of a love I lost
Yours of a love still lingering
But unwilling
And I may
And I will
Seek solace
And comfort
And love
In your arms.

Alice Julia Miller Nov 2013

Wedding

Here's to knowing
For you
I'd wear white

Alice Julia Miller Nov 2013

Deeply, Softly, Hold Me

Every time I walk
Every time you walk
Away
It hurts.

I want to draw you in close to me
Kiss your nose
And
Along your spine
Listen to the
Oh
So
Feminine
Gasps of
You
I want to be the girl
In your bed
Every night
Forever.

I would be
Full and rounded with
Your child someday
If you'd let me.
I'd like
The only time we part
To be
Work
And knowing
No matter
How bad my day was I could
F
  a
    l
      l
Into your arms
I could let go and trust you.

I would never
Utter
An
"I love you
BUT"
Only
I love you
Perhaps with
So much
Unendingly
Forever
Unconditionally

No matter how much
I give
You are never asking too much
No pain is too great
For me to soothe
No tear too fat and solemn
That I could not kiss it away

I have given
Blood
Sweat
Tears
And
Ink
Literally and entirely and it is NEVER
Too much to ask when you ask for my comfort
My love
And though she doesn't tell you
You are too much for her.
She doesn't want your love
But I pine for it
Long for it
My being aches for want of
Simple words in the soft tones
Of a lover

And please
Just take me
Because I have fallen
And you
Are the only one
Here to catch me

Alice Julia Miller Nov 2013

So You're Agreeing To It?

Always on dates
Never dating
Is that my fate?

"Technically I'm yours on dates"
Drop
The *******
Technically
And you have yourself
A lovely thing to murmur into my hair
Though my brain
Will misconstrue
Anything
At all.

Please
Just love me
I know you can.

I know you love HER
But even SHE
In the depths of her heart
Wants you to be with me
She wants you to be mine
Because
She knows she can't
Handle
Being
Yours.

"Honestly
I hope
with all my heart
he
grows
to love you
eventually."
She said
When she told me
She is jealous of me
After I said
I envy
Her.

Alice Julia Miller Nov 2013

Winter Pain from Winter Pleasure

I realize
The bandanna fits still.

It fits around my waist like it always has
For nearly 4 years.

Unfortunately, your love
Probably won't fit the same anymore.

The size of my waist may not have changed
But the shape and needs of my heart have.

It's not that I don't want your love
It's that you'd probably have to add material to make it fit.