in the first grade I used to spend recess picking little clover flowers for my teacher
even at the age of 6 i knew girls got bouquets of flowers and I haven't changed how i show my affection

once
she
drew me a flower
because she couldn't afford to buy them
couldn't climb the fence to pick them
i kept it too long
but no other daffodil
had stayed yellow that long

in the summertime
I walk by the school
to remind myself that this
used to be a time of great rest

she asked me if i minded
I tell her it's nothing
and like magic it was
I spoke nothingness into beingness
I bore nothing here
So heavy I could barely carry
this big bag of nothing

i waited for anything
i waited for nothing
and so when the doorbell rang
and nothing arrived
i acted surprised

i knew all along
what nothing looked like
looked like you and looked like me
and together we looked like a whole lot of nothing
holding hands in the dark
speaking soft little speech bubbles
empty and white

telling everyone we were nothing
and so we were
slowly but surely
or maybe instantly
we never were anything
but we sure were a whole lot of nothing

say nothing was going on
and so
nothing went
and so
nothing goes
and
slowly but surely
or maybe instantly
or maybe all along
we were never anything
but we sure were
a whole lot of nothing

you make me want to buy
a motorcycle

and
you make me want to buy

a
helmet.

this is the song of sea
of poseidon wooing me
of the riptide
of pulling in
of wind getting caught in sails
like my fingers in my hair
no matter

this is the song of sea
of not knowing what's
under me
you know
whales are not big
like I am not small
you know that

sea as tea as
sunken sailors and disintegrated ships
castaways cargo and carcasses
fish bones shark teeth
blood **** iron salt
the most seasoned soup
we wade in
not knowing

no matter
no matter
we float

this station is underground
but birds still found their way in
here
i can see you and you can see me
but we don't look at anybody
voices ring out from above
that almighty instruction -
      ELEVATORS OUT OF SERVICE
      STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE
      DELAY DUE TO WEATHER
It rings out in 4 different languages
we all lift our heads like peaks of waves
and fall back to our faithful phones
the voice is off
pigeons strut by me
we all pretend
we all wait

somewhere down there
people confuse dirt with death
hearth with hell
somewhere down there
i pay more attention to my legs
than what they're holding up
somewhere down there
is the underwear memorial
dedicated to all the things that got more attention
than my own bleeding body
somewhere down there
is hunger
if there are lips is there a mouth?
if there is mouth is there a stomach?
if there is a stomach is there food?

to become
the Grand Canyon
gaping with beauty
millions of years
deep
she sits
she spreads
she flows