“Everyone told me that New York wasn’t for me… guess they were right,
It’s not for me. You’re not for me.”
“That’s not what I said…You never let me talk!”
“Whatever.”
“We don’t talk, that’s why this fight is even happening!”
“We talk all the time!”
“You said you wanted to live together! You said you wanted to get married.”
Silence.
Those were lies, he knew it, she knew it.
“I know, I know I said that. But that was the only time I lied to you alright?”
“Do you even think about us living together?”
“Maybe, eventually. I don’t think in terms of time, Rachel. I live in the now.”
“The now?! The now? Well, I’ll tell you what’s happening in ‘the now’, I’m leaving.”
She storms away, he catches her arm
“What does that mean?”
“It  means I’m done.”
She walks away, her hand on the door, his voice echoes across the rooftop
“Do You Love Me?”
She scoffs
“I’m not talking about love on a rooftop in Brooklynn.”
She leaves
He sighs
Collapse.
“Looks like New York wasn’t for me after all.”

Some people don't find their calling
Sometimes it takes a whole life.
I'm so glad that you found yours,
Even so early in life.

You don't know what it is?
Well haven't you guessed?

Your calling is to protect,
You work so hard
Just to keep us all safe.

Ready to sacrifice so much,
Your life.
All for us.

I find it so amazing,
How hard you work each day,
To get me my fairy tale ending.
Of peace.

I know it's a lot to ask,
for anything more than you give.
But I have just one request,
Please, if you would,
Live.

Never change who you are,
For you change all the rest.
No matter what happens.

Others may chase you,
They won't make it easy.

They are made to destroy
To decimate.

You toil for your efforts
In rain and in sun
And you work hard to protect
Everyone.

Not just those who ask,
Or those that you think of in your prayers,
But all people
fall under your blanket of protection.

Thank you.

My Darling Girl,
Do not cry,
For as you cry,
Something you could have done,
              an opportunity
Passes you by.

All the ideas you miss,
     All the things you won't try
          All the people you could have known,
Pass you by like debris in a hurricane.

Perhaps it is a hurricane
You could make it so
With all the tears you cry.

If only you weren't crying.
Sobbing.
Tears streaming down your face like a great wonder of the world
The Waterfall of salt water,
Leading into the Sea.

A Sea that tastes of your tears.

Try hard, my sweet girl
Dry the tears from your face.

You've been broken
I know.
But now it is time to fix it.
To fix you.
Nothing is worth this grief.

Cheer up my Darling Girl,
Dry your tears,
and Live.

Somewhere...
    Somewhere in this world full of places
Be they close together,
Or Oceans apart.
    Somewhere in that dark, distant world
              Is a piece of me.
                     Half of my soul.
A person waiting,
           waiting for me.
Be they down the street,
      Or across the world...
             They are mine to find.
Once found
     I will be whole,
             After finding my other half
                           Mine.
Perhaps I shall find them.
Perhaps it shall be soon.
A Day
A Month
A Year
       But you must trust that I will find them
Or perhaps this fragmented piece of my soul,
                              this poem,
                                      has found its way to you.

Sometimes people realize things
That they left a relationship to early
Or to late
That they shouldn't have said what they did
That it isn't what it looks like
And sometimes...
It really isn't
What terrifying realizations these are...
In the moment
But they fade
The emotions that seemed so intense at the time fade
Fade the colors until the memory of those emotions
Is as fuzzy and impersonal as a black and white picture.
They turn into stories
Of an easier time
A simpler time
No emotion felt,
As time has erased the pain and wounds
That death never could
With death comes the worst realization of all
As you take your last breath and realize that you
Have yet to live

Why do we fall
Of all of the things we could do
We choose to allow something to race up
And ****** us away from our dreams,
Into reality
A reality that is hard and painful
Crashing around you
Sneaking up upon you
As floors do when you trip upon them

Why is it that when we chase our dreams
We must be shocked back into harsh reality
Reality jumping at us
Attacking
Pouncing
Demanding to be heard

When reality is upon us,
Why don't we run
Race back to our dreams
Fight for them as Alice fought the Jabberwocky
With dreams and trust and impossible things

Yet we see the reality,
A simple flaw
A crack
And we fall back to earth like stars from the sky.

We begin to give in,
To defer our dreams
We've fallen so many times before
and what for?

Voices fill your head,
Give up
Give in
You were never going to win
What can you do
Just let go
What has dreaming ever done for you?
The are so convincing in our shattered state
We begin to listen to them
And darkness beings to consume us

But once it does,
Someone appears,
A dreamer,
A friend,
Us,
Or
Someone like us.

To remind us that dreams aren't in vain,
To tell us to look up,
The light is breaking throough

A friend
Someone to pull us out of the dark
Show us how to dream again.

Why do we fall?
Perhaps there is a reason after all...
We fall...
So that we can learn to pick ourselves up
And so we can learn to trust in others,
When we no longer have the strength to do so.

It is up to you
Yes, this much is true
How will you spend you years
Will you sit alone
Crying
Sighing
Self-Confidence Diving
Or will you choose the popular life
A life of toil and strife
Crying yourself to sleep every night
What will you choose
Will you feel alone,
Even surrounded by friends
Or will you be bothered
By those that you don't know
Will you run in fear
Throughout the years
Worried what they'll say behind your back
Or will you just say
"What the hell. It'll happen some day."
These are your choices,
think them through
Because someday
They'll be presented to you.
When they pose these questions,
Don't give them an answer
Just pull up this poem
and let them answer for themselves
What would be better?
Which would be worse?

“You betrayed me, Darling” Jack said quietly. She had seen that look on his face before, it was a shocking sense of...disappointment. “Betrayed you? What are you talking about Jack? I love you, just you, ALWAYS you! You know that, what’s wrong with you, love? What has made you doubt me this way? Who has put this into your mind?”, Samantha was shocked that her husband would be so easily swayed from thinking that she was the perfect woman that he had married.

“What do you mean WHO?” his voice shook with barely controlled rage, his voice raising by the second, “You are that one who made me think this way! You've been withdrawn SWEETHEART, you don’t love me like you used to. The only explanation is that there must be someone else.”, Jack sounded as if he was so sure of himself, he had such conviction in his answer, and he did not expect the incredulous snort that came out of her mouth as her temper finally broke and she began to yell.

“ I've been withdrawn! I've been! What about you, DARLING?”, she spat out the endearment as if it left a sour taste in her mouth, making it sound like an insult, a curse. “ You've been so distant these last few months, Jack! You thought I wouldn't notice! You thought I couldn't tell! I could SEE it, in the planes of your face, in the way that you looked at me. No longer with adoration, but with calculation, or with consent, as if you simply are required to love me! Jesus, Jack! I’m not BLIND!”

Her husband sighed heavily and rested his head in his hands, “Please stop talking, Sam, please. I can’t bear to see you this way. You’re doubting me, even when I've been nothing but faithful to you.” his voice was barely a whisper, throat hoarse and raw from the screaming match they had earlier. She gasped, both at his words and his tone. She tried to keep herself from flinging herself into his arms and apologizing, trying to keep from seeing his side of the story. She knew what she had seen, she was not blind, and he knew it too. He had always been the rational one, always able to talk her out of her anger, and he knew it too.

“**** it Jack! I can smell it on you! Don’t tell me it isn't real!”, she paused to incredulously shake her head, “I can’t believe that you would lie to me”, Jack began to notice that her anger, her passion, her fire had faded. She sounded sad, defeated. like she was...giving up. “What do you SMELL on me, doll ”, when she didn't answer he began to get angry and his voice began to rise. “Hmmmm? What could you possibly smell on me? Be quick to answer”, she shook her head and clenched her jaw. Her answer seemed to be hissed out from between clenched teeth, “I smell whiskey, I smell smoke, you know what I smell most though? Perfume, it came from her, didn't it Jack? Because I’m sure as hell that it didn't come from me.” Jack shook his head and continued to be adamant in his denial of her claims.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Sammi! We’re fighting about nothing”, she began to sob uncontrollably, Jack was heartbroken by her sobs and tried to pull her into his arms, but she wrenched herself away from him, “Nothing, Jack? NOTHING! Be honest with me, how many are there? Three, Five, Twelve? I don’t even know you anymore, you aren't the man I married, you aren't my Jack. My Jack never would have done this to me! Who are you? Why do you want to hurt me? What’s happened to us, Jack? Sneaking behind each other’s backs-”, Jack’s head snapped up as he cut her off, “So you admit! You have been sneaking!” Samantha slowly shook her head and sighed in frustration, “**** it, Jack, that’s not the point! Do you even love me anymore?”, he didn't answer, her anger was blinding and she was so close to crying, “Do you! Is there any part of you that’s still mine?”, He frowned.

“All of it! All of me! I’m yours Sam”, she shook her head as she walked out the door, “No you aren't, Jack. You aren't mine” Jack gently put his hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him and stopping her from exiting the room, “I am. I’m yours!”, even he was close to tears now, the quiver in his voice was clear. Samantha shook him off her shoulder, “Then why did you cheat, Jack?” Her cold stare focused on his face, he looked at her and he was crushed. He looked heartbroken, but she answered her question with one of his own. “Why did you?” She shook her head and the look on her face changed from determination to disgust.

“I didn't! God, Jack! I loved you faithfully, fully, with no regrets, NONE! Guess it wasn't enough was it?”, He sighed “Give me another chance. I really do love you, Sammi”, He used her old nickname, hoping that it would rekindle a little bit of the old affection between them, no dice. She looked at him freezing him in place again with her cold stare, “Love is a game, games are for kids and whether or not you are one, I am done with this game. I forfeit, you win. Congratulations, you lose everything. Hope you had fun playing. Playing me just like everyone said you would”, Jack looked wounded his eyes filled with sharp pain.

“Please sweetheart, a second chance?” He was crying now, his tears streaming silently down his face. But she didn't turn to look and her response was curt and final, “Second chances are for those who deserve them, and don’t ever call me that again”. As she began to walk away Jack grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him again, “fine, no second chance, aren't you going to tell me that we can still be friends?”, Samantha shook her head in disgust and pulled her arm away from him. “Let’s get something straight Jack, we are not friends, we are not acquaintances, you will not speak to me after this. We don’t even know each other. As far as I’m concerned Jack, we haven’t known each other in quite a long time. Find someone else to ruin Jack, I’m already broken beyond repair. Goodbye Jack.”

As Samantha left, the tears streaming down her face were mirrored on his. However, their relationship, like Samantha, was broken far beyond repair. Even with time it will not heal as most things would. But instead, might fade, leaving both with an empty feeling that they will try to fill in their own way. By indulging in vices or rediscovering themselves, but at least then, there would be no pain. There was no doubt that that this was a good thing for them, because it was the time for it. Samantha remembered reading somewhere that there was a time for everything, and leaning against the closed door with her tears silently streaming down her face, she had not a doubt that this was right. They were not meant for the forever that they had promised each other. So each would have to find a love that was.

" No it can't end this way. I won't let it!" I screamed as my husband began to close his eyes, "You have to fight ******, you have so much to live for! we both do!" His eyes began to flutter closed, "No! Please! Stay here! Stay with me! Don't go!"

He smiled gently and his eyes fluttered open.  He tenderly grabbed my hand, but his normally strong grasp had turned into a weak hold, worrying me further. "Darling, please, don't yell. I love you. I always will. But it's my time...and you know it. Can't you feel it? The earth is calling me back sweetheart, and I must answer.", I began to sob and pulled him closer to me,

"No! I can't accept it! It's only been two years!" My husband smiled, getting weaker by the second as the earth pulled the life from him. "Yes. Two wonderful years. That was all we were ever going to get sweetheart and you know it. Do me one favor, before I go?" I pushed back the tears and put on a brave face, even though I was truly dying inside now.

"Anything, anything, Darling."

He drew in his last breath and said his dying words, "Never...Forget, Don't forget that life is fragile. and that I...love...you", and then, he stopped breathing.  But I continued to hold him in my arms, sobbing into his chest, "I'll never forget, I'll never forget, never, never..." and as my voice trailed off into incoherent sobs and screams I knew one thing, if you forget, if you pretend you have all the time in the world. You won't fight, when your time comes, you won't try to keep yourself alive in others.

Whether it's through kindness, or strength, or love, or compassion, the list goes on and on. I'll never forget, but will you forget? Well. Will you?

They look at each other,
blush,
look away,
It seems to be choreographed  like a dance between them

He looks at her,
She glances, giggles
He looks away
This is the infamous tango of hearts
They watch, They wait, They wonder

Until one day,
Someone makes a step that doesn't fit into the dance.

A new boy,
One who hasn't been observing their dance,
He walks up to her as she giggles
He smirks, saunters, and flirts

The dance shudders,

Stops.

Her heart has been won

He looks at her,
She glances up, meets his eyes,
Looks away.
The dance is still being performed,

This time though, it is a dance of friendship.

Of Worry
Of Desperation, both his and hers
For months he's seen her like this

The downcast look in her eye
A sudden pain when she is touched
An obvious flinch is she is so much as reached for

She comes to talk to him
They laugh
Almost like old times

Yet he can't mistake the pain in her eyes
He moves to touch her
A hand grabs her arm and jerks her away

He looks
She shakes her head
He frowns, pleads silently
She shakes her head again
He nods,

And he walks away

He looks
She is distrusting
She got out, alone,
The new boy, now old in her views comes to her

The boy is is apologetic, The boy pleads with her
She looks across the room to her boy,
Not one she's dated,
But one she shares an even more intimate relationship with
One she trusts.

This is the boy that has been with her all along,
He who danced the dance with her through it all.
The only boy that she could trust to know the steps

She needs help now, so she looks to him
He shakes his head,
Now she is the one who frowns,

He shakes his head again
And she walks away.
Away from her past
And towards her future.

If the sky was made of paper
and the seas made of ink
We would have no air to breathe and no water to drink.

This is a ridiculous predicament to find ourselves in
All for the price of love

As long as I live
And as long as I breathe
I will continue to tell how I love you

I need not skies of paper or seas of ink,
Simply the words that evade me,
And a rooftop to shout them from

What should I say
How to tell of my feelings for you?
Love,
Ha! Love is hardly enough to describe what I feel.

What I feel for you is deeper
A passion that cannot be quenched,
A thirst for your affections
A need for the simple brush of your skin against mine.

There are no words for this in our ridiculously limited language.
I have no words with which to say the things I have been bursting to say.
So I must express these sentiments in the best way I know how
With my simple, barbaric language,
So I leave you with my humble words in parting:

*I love you, Darling

It takes great strength to allow yourself to be weak.
It takes great courage to make yourself vulnerable.

It takes audacity to live,
It takes bravery to love,
Despite the fact that you have been hurt
Over,
and Over,
Again.

It takes extraordinary fearlessness to look death in the face and laugh
because you've  accomplished everything you wanted to.

Running away
From everything
That could crush my dreams

Running away
From simplicity
From anything that's easy

If only running away
Could solve the problems
I don't see

If only they didn't apply to me
What a shame
So I'm running away

Broken Pens
Broken Dreams
A whole shore full of broken rings
On the isle of broken things

Walk along the shores of broken rock
See the broken souls
Will yours belong there?
It is full of young and old

These souls have been shattered
Scarred too deep
for anyone to fix
here on the isle of broken things

Walk along the roads
They are littered with broken glass
You too will surely shatter
if you choose to walk this path

Broken hearts hold it together
Cemented with sadness and anger
These pains their only trade
There are many who live here
However they know not
Of this isle full of things just as broken as they

And if they did know
Would they continue to be
Here alone with you
On this isle of broken things