crawling, creeping,
slowly shrinking back
into skin and nails
and bones and hair
and glistening ectoplasm.

backwards thinking because of
infinity eyes and a lovely
spine that was never there
to begin with.
and, I smile,
but its always your
smile

even when I tell myself
that the geraniums
cannot cry forever, or
that the sun can only eat
so many shadows
before it
explodes.

I.

I went to wendy's yesterday
and I saw ed on the other day
and he carried with him, a bagful of books
and came along will, and saw him
they exchanged looks
and Will asked for some 'tools'
So came along Kim
who wore too much makeup
and she sat on the chair beside me
to look for boys who she would
hook up with.

II.

I went to wendy's yesterday
and I saw ed on the hay
and he carried with him, a handful of smokes
and he started to fling the smoke and breath in the air Inside his throat.
Then came along will, and saw him
he passed him a light, and gave a wink
they exchanged gifts
and ed asked for more ***
and will handed him, and ed gave his jackpot
So came along kim
who wore shorts and tops that showed her breast
she sat to the chair beside the teenager
and want to flirt with him over the motel
and gave her a wink
as she grabs the jackpot.

III.
I went to wendy's yesterday
and ordered for a milkshake
when I saw ed by the counter with his tray
and he carried with him, a gray bag full of *******
and he started to tuck it between him,
as he ordered a burger and some fries.
Then came along will, and saw him
he passed him the pack, and gave him a smile
they exchanged gifts
and will gave him the cash
and ed stashed the burger wrapper in the trash
So came along kim
who wore a mini skirt and tops that showed her cleavage
She sat to the chair beside the man
and the man smiled and gave her some cash
and gave him a wink
as he follow her to the motel

IV.
For graduation,
I came to wendy's to celebrate
and ordered salads for the day
and then I saw ed outside
handcuffed by the police for selling cyanide
and then I saw Will inside
displeased and gave a sigh
and brought out a smoke
to feel it's air deeply inside his thigh
that's when Tracey pointed to kim,
and told me she was selling some thing
and that she couldn't go with us to celebrate
Because of the baby in her den.
And lewis pointed to ed,
Said he was addicted
to the things that we weren't suppose to take.

V.**
I went yesterday at wendy's
and saw the coffin that was ed's
and saw the gun that Will was holding,
as he began to get the **** out of the man.
I chewed my burger that day at wendy's
and can't help but ask why
why the people was circling
around Kim's body.
By the sidewalk.

When you're this close to me
You look like you have four eyes,
Two noses and two mouths.

When you're this close to me
You become twice as beautiful
As you ever were before.

There's a will to live and a way to die
But death is the only one who takes his time
A broken pocket watch, the look in your eye
Like you knew this was our last goodbye

And if I don't believe in God can I still pray
That that lonesome highway will bring you back someday

I knew a girl who wasn't afraid to die
She told me that as she closed her eyes
I know a trapeze artist who doesn't use a safety net
And he hasn't fallen yet

I'm drunk again on a Friday night
Screaming into florescent lights
Flat on my back on the bathroom tile
Dear God, its been awhile

But the path to the past is all broken glass
And I cut my feet open walking back
So I hailed a taxi like it was Jesus Christ
And I told the driver to disappear into the night

One eye open
One eye close

My body is a ghost town built on pillars of salt
And I can chew my way out
Standing at the top of a broken staircase
Holding up my heart, derelict of
Trying to cradle it wildly
Running home to find it suffocated and squished

No one saw what I have for the world to see

And my feet leave the ground

Over the waterfall
Into the undertow

I open
I close

One eye conquering
One eye conquered

It is the dog door and the picket fence.
It is the malicious world destroyed in you.
And your name is writ in dust
Spelled out in coils of your sloshing yellow belly

Eve smiles at you from the kitchen table
Pieces of fruit are stuck in her teeth.
A river of spittle pauses on her chin
And drips down onto her warm breast.

It is the kind of happiness
The dog door happiness
That inspired the snake to eat its own tail.

I marked you as a fool
When you fell onto the sand bursting
With an unreal sense of euphoria
When you could still see the silhoutte of your name
After the tide collapsed into itself
It left you smitten with the idea
That the wax that sticks you all together
Doesn't wither with the wick

So I collapsed into myself
By candlelight and canned heat
Drew up and insubstantial
You treasure the primordial gold
I melt it to fit my posture
I am the sound of a dying constellation
A sound that no one will ever hear
And I marked you as a fool

Poetry is a disease
Words sit in your gut like rotten meat
You hold onto your stomach for dear life
'Cos it's full of knives
There's no choice but to stick your pen down your throat
And bring it all up

Yeah, poets can't tie knots
And they don't own a pistol

And all that venom just stifles and stinks

But you can close the book
And close your eyes
Ready to hate yourself tomorrow

I got a love for blood money
And any ***** little ****
Who gives me just enough

TO put down the bottle
TO put on a new pair of jeans
TO change the sheets on the bed

God knows if she don't nothin' from me
I'm gonna give her everything I got

God knows I'm gonna be staining those sheets
And sweating it all out till my stomach turns
And my heart stops beating again