Nobody teaches you how to react when you are woken up by the people you live with as they are screaming obscenities at each other.
Nobody teaches you how to defend your mom against the one she chose to marry and his demeaning words, full of hatred and anger.
Nobody teaches you how to tell the phone operator what is happening while also trying to stop the tears that continue to pour from your already burning eyes.
Nobody teaches you how to pry a 45 year old from a 14 year old or how to stay safe until the police arrive at your house.
Nobody teaches you how to convince your brother to come back inside after running away into the cold, December winds in order to protect himself.
Nobody teaches you how to quickly and efficiently pack your belongings into three small bags when your home life escalates from bad to worse to hell-on-earth.
Nobody teaches you how to tell your friends that you will not be coming back to school.
And nobody teaches you how to survive when you are no longer welcome to live at the place you once called home.

Nobody taught me how to react when I was woken up by the people I lived with as they were screaming obscenities at each other.
I was not aware that standing outside my bedroom door – with every limb of my body cemented into place and stricken with fear, unable to move or even breathe, let alone defuse the situation – was worthy of being verbally attacked.
I did not know what to do when actions were required.

Nobody taught me how to defend my mom against the one she chose to marry and his demeaning words, full of hatred and anger.
I could not think of the right words to say to put an end to
the hysteria in which my mom was continuously put down and verbally spat upon.
I could not think of the right steps to take to ensure she would no longer fall victim to words that did not accurately describe her worth.
I did not know how to defend my own mother.

Nobody taught me how to tell the phone operator what was happening while also trying to stop the tears that continued to pour from my already burning eyes.
I did not know how to breathe properly - in and out, in and out - or how to put my words into coherent sentences or how to listen to what I was being told from the operator and my mom and the cacophony of other voices that were piercing my ears with every uttered sound or how to recall my name, age, and address.
I did not know how to make a simple phone call.

Nobody taught me how to pry a 45 year old from a 14 year old or how to stay safe until the police arrived at my house.
I never before had to witness the strength that adrenaline causes a scrawny, teenage boy to possess.
I never before had to witness the deranged sight of a pair of eyes when they are locked onto your only brother, waiting and wanting to hurt him in more ways than one.
I never before had to witness and endure the way in which seconds seem to last hours when waiting for the police to bring safety and an end to the nightmare that had become real life.
I did not know how to escape the paralyzing effect of pure, unfathomable fear.

Nobody taught me how to convince my brother to come back inside after running away into the cold, December winds in order to protect himself.
I did not realize that sometimes letting my younger brother run away from home is the best thing to do.
I did not realize that sometimes the police agree that you should not chase after kids who run away.
I did not realize that sometimes he would rather be cold than bruised.
I did not know how fast a person could run when he is scared.

Nobody taught me how to quickly and efficiently pack my belongings into three small bags when my home life escalated from bad to worse to hell-on-earth.
I could not differentiate between what items were wants and what items were needs, what items I needed to live and what items I needed to survive.
I could not differentiate between the voice of the police telling me to “hurry up” and the voice in my head telling me “you aren't going fast enough.”
I did not know how to move out.

Nobody taught me how to tell my friends that I will not be coming back to school.
I cannot absorb the questions that I am relentlessly asked: Yes, I am okay; No, I don't know what's going to happen; Maybe I will be able finish out the week.
I cannot absorb the look of disbelief and confusion in the eyes of my closest friends and even those who I can only call acquaintances.
I do not know how to leave my friends.

Nobody is teaching me how to survive since I am no longer welcome to live at the place I once called home.
I was not aware how quickly feelings can, and do, change from acceptance to rejection.
I could not think of what was going through my mom's head as she and her children were mercilessly attacked with both sentences and strength.
I did not know how to talk to the 9-1-1 dispatcher when my words were so desperately needed.
I never before had to witness such deep animosity within one household.
I did not realize that sometimes words hurt just as much as sticks and stones.
I could not differentiate between the sounds of stomping feet and the sounds of police banging on the door.
I cannot absorb the fact that I am not allowed to go back to the place I lived for four years.
*I do not know what to do.

Baby Boomers: 25% of America’s population, all born in the years between 1946 and 1964 who continue to live off Social Security.
     All right, but what is Social Security and from where does it come? Taxes. Taxes that come out of your (yes, YOUR) hard earned paycheck. About 14% of your paycheck, actually. You, my fellow working Americans, are paying for little Miss Norma from down the road to migrate to Florida during these treacherous cold, winter months, along with the flock of 47 million other Baby Boomers who live in America. As well as paying for their food and shelter and ever-growing medical bills and for them to continue living. We are paying retirees to take our money.
     In 2012, 21% of America’s budget went to the Baby Boomers, or Social Security--that is 773 billion dollars. In 2013, however, the retirees gained grounds and are now being paid 860 billion dollars a year for the next two years.
     Why are we paying little Miss Norma and her 47 million retired friends to have a vacation, time off, a break, whatever you wish to call “running away from responsibilities”, when they are neither contributing to nor bettering society? What responsibilities are they running away from?  Why do we continue to slave away every day to earn a paycheck that funds the lives of people who are of no benefit to the country? Because this is the United States of America and it is the duty of us young folks to cater to the needs of the geriatric community!
     Well America, it is time for a change.
The retirement age in America is about 61 years of age, and with retirement comes Social Security benefits. BUT, I propose, instead of receiving the benefits of Social Security, the retirees are given something else.
     That something else? A pill.
     A euthanization pill.
     Baby Boomers are ******* America dry, and it is time to eliminate them.
     It is logical, really. Why spend excessive amounts of money on people who are too frail and too weak to work or enrich our country? Seriously, why?
     Living a life unable to work, unable to do once-favorite activities that arthritis now prohibits, unable to visit with long deceased friends and family cannot, I imagine, be fulfilling. By euthanizing them we are doing them (and ourselves) a favor: we are ending their misery (and also saving ourselves from paying them 860 billion dollars for the next two years).
     Think of the country! Think of the possibilities! Think of the debt!
     Being no longer threatened by the looming responsibility of needing to fork over more than 20% of money to Baby Boomers that the country doesn’t actually have to give, we are enabling ourselves to use that very same money to pay off the ever-increasing debt!
     The national debt as of February 2014 is well over 17 trillion dollars, and thanks to Social Security and the people living off it, the amount does not stop growing. We, as Americans, must say good-bye to our dear old grannies, and say hello to a debt free life.

Words are weapons.
I believe in the strength words possess that gives each sentence the ability to build up
just as easily as tearing down.
Words can leave
cuts that no band-aid can cover,
wounds that not any number of trips to the hospital can cure,
scars that time cannot heal--
do not tell the victim of bullying that words don't hurt as much as
sticks and stones.
I believe in the authority of words and their
power
that can be the difference between life and death.
Telling an individual to **** himself is *not a *joke,
telling an individual to **** himself is not  funny,
telling an individual to **** himself may be the permission he was waiting for to finally escape the consuming burden he calls his life--
do not tell the mother of two kids minus one who lost her son to his own hand that actions speak louder than words.
I believe in the healing magic that occurs when the right words are arranged in the right order.
Words are made into sentences,
sentences into paragraphs,
paragraphs into pages,
and pages into books that evoke every kind of emotion and
lock the reader between those pages--
do not tell those whose friends are made out of paper that they require friends made out of flesh.
For every individual there are two types of sentences:
a sentence that can destroy and a sentence that can mend.
*I believe in words.

i grew up in a house of whispers and maybe that's why i still can't talk.
i grew up in a house of "hands to yourself" and maybe that's why i still don't like to be touched.
i grew up in a house of "daddy will visit again soon" and maybe that's why i still don't trust anyone.
i grew up in 6 different houses and maybe that's why i still have trouble calling this house a home.
they say "don't make a home out of a person" but i've never been able to make a home out of a house and i'm sick of being homeless
I GREW UP WAY TOO FAST AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY IM BROKEN.
i grew up in a house of held breaths and maybe that's why i still can't breathe.
i grew up in a house of "don't tell the kids at school" and maybe that's why my shoulders are still heavy.
i grew up in a house that was always empty and maybe that's why i'm still lonely.
i grew up in a house of "i'll be home later" and maybe that's why i still can't sleep.
i grew up in a house of "take care of your brother" and maybe that's why i still can't take care of myself.
i grew up in a house of lost photo albums and maybe that's why i still don't like having my picture taken.
i grew up in a house without any "i love you"s and maybe that's why i still don't love myself.
now i'm growing up in a house of "keep your head down" and "don't make him mad" and maybe that's why i haven't been able to look at anyone.