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1.2k · May 2021
Apologies
Ale May 2021
You know,
I find myself saying
"I'm sorry"
quite a lot.

Back then
apologies were beat out of me,
so now they just bleed out
from the scars
on their own.
1.2k · May 2021
Death
Ale May 2021
Death
is taking
a lifetime.
1.1k · Jun 2021
Free
Ale Jun 2021
Seeing your smile is free,
but it's worth a lot.
I can't put a price on your laughter
but it's priceless to me.
1.0k · May 2021
Heartbeat
Ale May 2021
My heart's practically
beating out of my chest
whenever I'm around you.

I'm not flustered,
I'm scared.
My heart pounds terribly,
so please,
stay away.
732 · Dec 2021
You
Ale Dec 2021
You
At times like this,
drowned in misery
and suffocated by the night,
I wish I could hear you say
"It's alright."

To ask you to recite it,
I couldn't bear.
Yet still,
I yearn to hear.

Deathly afraid to be troublesome,
I stay silent,
while the pain in my chest
grows violent.

I could never
be someone I'm not,
and everything I do
is for naught.

I can't be
someone I'm not.
Knowing my futility
is leaving me distraught.

For you to notice me
is what I want, it seems.
But I could never say so,
and it will remain
a dream.
439 · Aug 2021
Tasteless
Ale Aug 2021
So tasteless and unrefined.
I can feel every word,
but not one ounce of love,
can I find.
Do you like me?
417 · May 2021
Mirrors
Ale May 2021
I don't like mirrors.
No matter how much I stare
into my own eyes.
I can never see what you see.
378 · Sep 2021
Nothing
Ale Sep 2021
I'll be thrown away.
You don't
really need me
anyways.
It's nothing, right?
I'm out of sight.
I'm nothing,
right?
370 · Dec 2021
Watching
Ale Dec 2021
Everyone is always
hanging out all the time.
Everyone's always smiling,
and my envy's a crime.
Finally, I realize that I'm letting
slip by
the things that once
were mine.

Everyone is always
hanging out all the time.
Everyone's always smiling
as I watch from behind.
My inferiority
leaves scars on mind.
One day, I want your laughter
to finally complement
mine.

Everyone is always
hanging out all the time.
Please,
can your time
be mine?
350 · May 2021
Run
Ale May 2021
Run
I'm not afraid of things like
pain,
and getting hurt,
and being forgotten.

Because those are things
I can understand.
But this love that won't quit
terrifies me more than anything.
It makes me want to run away.
285 · Aug 2021
Monster
Ale Aug 2021
In the darkest nights,
lurking in the alleyways
or under a dim street light.

Monsters lurk everywhere.
Heed caution when you roam,
as the most dangerous ones
are likely in your own home.
219 · May 2021
Help
Ale May 2021
I wanted to help,
I really wanted that.
But I guess you only saw me fit
as a doormat.
180 · May 2021
My Fault
Ale May 2021
Time lost,
My fault.
I'm useless
by default.

Slacked off,
did nothing.
Feel tears,
they're coming.

Can't cry,
not fair.
These problems
are my fault
and mine to bear.
151 · Jun 2021
Complicated
Ale Jun 2021
Is it wrong to grieve unhappiness
in the same way it's wrong to boast achievements?
I want to live, but I'm told to die.
I want to die, but I'm told to live.
Is disappearing an option?
141 · Sep 2021
Invisible
Ale Sep 2021
I'm translucent,
as if I were an apparition.
I had always thought
you were looking through me.
I see now,
that you were looking past me instead.
111 · Dec 2021
Again
Ale Dec 2021
And again
I made the mistake
of holding you.

Smokescreens of
unattainable luxury
dissipate.

Like tears you can't wipe away,
my feelings
were here to stay.

It's disappearing
and rotting
and the world will stop again.

In a tale like this
my happiness
is unheard of.

"See you then, okay?"
Please don't go away.

"I really had fun."
You were never just "anyone".

"Things will be the same, see?"
I didn't want to be...
108 · May 2021
Expectations
Ale May 2021
I'm not a great writer,
not a deep thinker,
not even thought-provoking.
I'm just some kid,
some kid who's hurting.
My writing could never
meet your expectations.
107 · May 2021
Pain
Ale May 2021
The sharp sting you feel
when you see me hurt
is nothing compared
to the stabbing I feel
when I'm getting hurt.
103 · May 2021
True
Ale May 2021
If I showed you
the true feelings
you've always begged me to share,
the hate,
and anger,
and frustration,
and sadness.
Would you still be here,
begging me to talk?
Or would you be begging me to stop?
102 · May 2021
Ugly
Ale May 2021
"It's what's on the inside that matters!"
If that's the case,
you'd probably hate me much more
than you did for my looks.
97 · Dec 2021
Time
Ale Dec 2021
I can feel it,
I'm running out of time.
Someone will come 'round
and never again
will I cross your mind.
87 · Jun 2021
Deserve
Ale Jun 2021
Good things come to people who deserve them,
and good people deserve happiness.
I wonder
if I'll have to wait for long,
or if it was never meant for me
at all.
84 · Jun 2021
In A World
Ale Jun 2021
In a world,
where I could go anywhere I wanted,
how long would it be
until I didn't want to go anywhere at all?

In a world,
where I didn't have to be an outcast,
would I be able to accept
the kindness in the first place?

In a world,
where everyone listened,
would I be able to think
of the right words?

In a world,
where my self-made scars didn't have to be hidden,
I wonder,
would I have any in the first place?

In this world,
the world of reality,
life is harsh
and filled with struggles.

In this world,
I'll leave this message.
If I were to die now,
may my words never fade.
84 · May 2021
Less
Ale May 2021
I've always been less than.

Less than her,
Less than him,
Less than you,
Less than them,
Less than human,
Less than enough.
79 · Dec 2021
Listen
Ale Dec 2021
I love to listen,
even if my company
can't substitute
what you're missing.

I can't help anyone
in real ways.
And soon enough
with me, you'll be done.

I love to listen,
but now it's strange, see?
Why is what I'm hearing
starting to sound a bit like me?
78 · May 2021
Laugh
Ale May 2021
Anyone can laugh off your problems.
But it takes someone special
to get you to laugh away your problems
as well.
76 · May 2021
Sorry
Ale May 2021
I'm sorry
for all those times I was a pain.
All I did was annoy you
and for that I'm ashamed.

And I'm sorry again,
for the times you wanted me to go away.
I really should have,
but selfishly I tried to stay.

And I'm really sorry,
for still being here.
But today,
I definitely plan
to disappear.
74 · Nov 2021
Feeling
Ale Nov 2021
At somewhere past 3
in the morning,
my feelings trickle.

Down my face
and down
my arms.

I stretch towards
what I believe to be
the sky,
past this gray ceiling.

And yet these hands of mine
will never find
a single thing to hold
and call "mine".
73 · May 2021
Confusing
Ale May 2021
You confuse me.
I know you'll never like me
but I can't stop the enjoyment I feel
when I say
I love you.
But sometimes I hate it
71 · May 2021
Trash
Ale May 2021
I'll throw it all away.
These useless emotions
and feelings.
I don't need anything
of authenticity.
This cheap plastic smile will do.
68 · May 2021
Face
Ale May 2021
This is really unfair.
You're blessed with a pretty face,
and yet I can't even see my reflection
without being revolted.
68 · May 2021
Elsewhere
Ale May 2021
I've always tried to help,
but when I'm in need,
your help was always
needed elsewhere.
68 · May 2021
Disagreement
Ale May 2021
My brain and my heart,
just can't agree with each other.
Trying to get them to play nice
has my thoughts and emotions
in the gutter.
66 · May 2021
Reusable
Ale May 2021
Finding different emotions
to feel every day
is such a pain.
I'll just reuse the same
"happy face" as yesterday.
66 · May 2021
Missed
Ale May 2021
I could be gone,
just like that.
Everything about me
vanishing forever.
But there wouldn't be much to miss,
right?
66 · May 2021
Listening
Ale May 2021
I know you're wondering,
If anyone's listening.
I know, the thought of being unheard
is sickening.

But keep writing.
Keep singing.
Keep talking.

I hear you.
We hear you.
Never alone
66 · May 2021
For You, From Me
Ale May 2021
For you,
the person I've adored.
From me,
the one you've probably abhorred.

I want to apologize.
I'm sorry for liking you.
You would never like me like that,
and I knew that too.

So I'm sorry,
for the late nights
and the early mornings.
Things could have gone different,
I thought they might.

Simply put,
I thought the idea of "us" was great.
But somewhere in me,
I knew you couldn't relate.

So I'll write this,
for You.
To the one who will never see this.
But the one I most want to, too.

So this,
is from Me.
My endearment was true.
And you know,
I think I'll keep falling for you too.
From Me,
For You.
I could never show that person this.
65 · May 2021
Life
Ale May 2021
Life goes on.
But at this point,
it's going to have to
go on without me.
65 · May 2021
Lived
Ale May 2021
I've only lived in pain
so I can die in peace.
65 · May 2021
Ugly
Ale May 2021
If my feelings would show
their ugly faces right now,
I wouldn't be able to fight back,
would I?
64 · May 2021
End
Ale May 2021
End
I'm sure
things will come to an end one day.
Whether by my hand
or God's.
But until that day comes
I'd like to stay with you.
63 · May 2021
Finally
Ale May 2021
I'm in pain.
My head pounds terribly,
my legs shake uncontrollably,
and there's a gaping hole
in my chest.

But I can laugh,
although my eyes are saturated
with tears that sting.


I can finally laugh,
because giving up
on everything like this
will set me free.
Right?
63 · May 2021
Funny
Ale May 2021
I'm glad my problems
are a joke to you.
But I'm not so lucky
to be able to laugh them off too.
63 · May 2021
Meet
Ale May 2021
We met
and played a game.
I was bad at it,
for that I'm sorry.

We met
and had coffee.
I got your order wrong,
for that I'm sorry.

We met
and talked about that book.
I didn't like it,
for that I'm sorry.

We met
and then we didn't.
You, now,
no longer want to meet with me.
62 · Jul 2022
Now
Ale Jul 2022
Now
Isn't this basically enough?
Even being average's pretty tough.
Even if greater existed, at the end of the day,
wouldn't have the courage to try for it either way.

Never wanted to be perfect,
maybe I never had that option, in retrospect.
Anyhow, I just want to live for the "now",
and no one will be able to tell me how.
62 · May 2021
Flaws
Ale May 2021
"You're ugly."
"And mean.
"You have acne."
"And bad grades."

I'm not your punching bag.
We all have flaws
and I've never bullied you for yours,
so won't you leave mine alone?
62 · Dec 2021
Hole
Ale Dec 2021
There's a
hole in my chest.
Looking into it leaves me
with unwavering fear
and unrest.

It doesn't go right through,
and I can do naught but lament
the fact that inside
there's only a whirlwind
of torment.

Fueled by the
fragility of my brain,
it tears me apart,
leaving me
barely sane.
61 · May 2021
Friend
Ale May 2021
You wanted a friend.
And I wanted to apologize
for wanting more.
61 · Nov 2022
Death
Ale Nov 2022
I've stopped fearing death
long ago.
However, that is not to say
I quite adore life.

No, I've died many times.
You've broke my heart,
suffocated me,
and stabbed me.

And when it's all over,
you'll resurrect me once more
by whispering your quiet
reassurances.
60 · May 2021
Spare
Ale May 2021
Please don't try to
spare me.
Your sweet smile
and kind attitude
is hurting me more than you think.

I don't want
kindness anymore...
Because your sweetness
has put honesty
on hold.
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