I'm laying in bed wishing I wasn't here alone. I trim my bangs and cut my hair to feel satisfied with myself. I pray to God, to keep me with my lover.
I don't eat much and I haven't swam yet. My lover came to see me but as soon as he left, I felt guilty of myself. My failure. I entered into a panic attack and as a result, laid in bed and listened to Pink Floyd; wishing to be in his arms again.
He makes me laugh and smile. He squeezes me so hard that I feel my lungs collapse. He touches me gently as a rose. He plays with my hair and kisses it. I hear his breath near my ear and I feel in a dream. He's the lover, I don't really know but I want to create a family with him and die by his side. I think I might break without him... He just left but I barely remember how he looks. It's just the love that I have that keeps this going. I get on my knees and pour my eyes out because I want him to love me and to never leave my side because I want to be with him. I might break without you so please don't go!

I just want to see you smile
& hug you until the world stops turning...
You live in my heart and you're always vivid in my mind.

There's a boy who makes me smile and his name is Gavin.
He makes me feel like everything is okay even when I feel, like there's nothing...
Gavin is the reason I wake up and live. I live to love him! There are some days where I don't really know if he's the one for me but my heart tells me, that  he loves me and I shouldn't take him for granted.
No matter where I go or do, I'll always come back to him because he is my sanctuary. I love him and I'll never stop loving him.
I'd drop anything, just for him and he is who makes me want to become a better partner. I know that I'm not really a good partner but I just need to him to show me how to attend to his needs. He is the greatest person in my life and I could just lay my head on his shoulder and stay that way forever. I could forget a thousand things but I wouldn't ever forget about him! People may say that I don't love him but they don't know that I cry because I feel like I'm not doing enough for him. People and distance could keep us apart but no circumstance could keep my love away from him. I love him very much ❤️

I'm frustrated
Someone talk to me

I wish you would talk to me..
I wish you would show me how to love again
I wish you deeply cared about me
I wish to be in coma and maybe, you would be there by my side

There she goes walking in the gleam of the sunlight, looking for a new lover, she once lost.
Her dark brown hair dances in the wind with every step she takes and the curls in her hair laugh hysterically in the wind
She has her own memories of her lost lover, sadly, no where to be found...
Her hands, as fragile as a rose, long for the hands that once used to be her lovers...
Her small tiny feet, leave footprints in the grass just so her lost lover will find his way back to her...
Finally, she came across a fresh dandelion in the morning mist ;therefore, she picked it up and granted a wish upon it to find the new lover she once lost...

We took Jesus off the dashboard and it doesn't really matter because we were madly in love.
I know everything I did with him was a sin but the sin was out of love and maybe our love was a sin but it was something I had never experienced before because I was enriched into the poison of your lips.
Maybe my feelings may seem a little selfish but this love feeling was like Pontiac heaven for me.

Why are nimals be used for entertainment?
Why are animals be used for our makeup?
Why are animals used to make our food ?
Why are  animals hurt ?
Why are  animals used for clothing ?  
Why are animals seen as inferior to humans?
Why are animals punished ?
Why are animals bled to death ?
Why are animals disrespected ?
Why are animals not important?
Why don't animals have the right to be free and happy ?
We're just selfish human beings because animals are equal to any living thing! Animals have feelings, thoughts, dreams and aspirations just like humans.

I got up in the morning
Only to realize that my cows were going to be sold at the auction
I felt lost and cried because I hate animal cruelty
My cows are lost and I'm here thinking, why should cows be treated in such cruelty?
All I know, is that my cow looked around and around... Only to find himself lost within the multitude of other cows
Now it's lost and I won't see my cows ever again because they were taken away
Now I'm lost in my heart and mind while I listen to the crickets chirp and chirp because I know they're lost and I can't take them back
I really wish people understood how much pain animal cruelty causes me and now I'm lost within this world

I have a big cut in the middle of my heart...
I don't know how my heart keeps pumping to keep me alive
So I ask myself, if my heart has a cut then why am I alive ?
Is the cut really in the heart or somewhere else ?
If my heart committed suicide, I think it would be better off because it has a cut and the cut won't heal

You have the softest face
Your hands are beautifully made
Your eyes are captivating
Your hands touch my lap
Your hands hold me when I need you
I hold you so tight that I can't even breath.
You lay your head on my lap and I caress your hair and face...
You call me babe when I grab onto you...
You moan and moan until we both fall into a state of passion...
My love, my love, I'll see you soon

One, you perpetuated my mind
Two, I'm breathing faster
Three, I collapse onto the floor
Four, I see you at the end of the tunnel
One, two, three, four, and I inhale a state of coma...

I don't want to be 40 someday and think of everything we did and all the things we yet had to do...
No matter how Sunday turns into Monday mist or how every month is something else because my heart will always linger your presence.
It's funny how time flies because only yesterday you said you would stay with me but I hope someday you will see me again and realize that it's not too late to bring the flame back into my heart.

When I see you
My heart starts racing
And my palms start to perspire
I breath faster
I choke upon my words
And I burst into a gaiety state
My mind starts spinning with your arms around me ; therefore, I'm brought back to life
Because you give me life to the fullest and your love lives in my soul so I revive when I see you

I never knew why you left
But since the day you left
I've been a bird without wings
I think of why you left
Life seems like a broken dream
You left me without a single trace of where you went
The wings on the bird are too heavy by burden
I try to deny the fact that you left
And now I'm a bird without wings

Your eyes are a nebula trapped into your own despair and I plead to know the secrets those eyes hold. I could stare into your eyes and embrace your perspective...

The Indefinite Answer

You're shining even though you're a black hole.
I often wonder if there are any secrets you are hiding ?
Like the death of a star,should we be aware of what awaits for us ?
Or should we continue to live the life of the unknown?
Like the pupil of an eye, can you see us as we can see you ?
You allow no light to escape...
Will you eventually burst and end the life of the universe?
Like the soul of mine, and yours which is untouchable as the sun in the sky.
I believe there is math in you, we are made of math and the math in you defines the world.
There are mysteries we yet have to figure out... Including we must discover our own inner black hole in order to solve these mysteries.
This is not meant to have an end of you, this is not meant to have an answer because the darkness in you should arise above all creation...
The black hole is not meant to fade away because the possibilities are ENDLESS.
By: Alejandra Cruz