Insatiable-
There never was a quarrel.
Do you remember?
Love, never once adequate
Death's caress reigns infinite!

sign your poetry
with a cigarette burn
and your letters with

"goodbye"

leave a note at 12 o clock
"see you soon"

run to the tracks
use them as a balance beam
SCREAMmynamehurry
get off
the train
is coming

sprint.

run away from you
run away from the
bad and into the
arms of the good
the chase
           is over

the life you wanted-
             gone

a skip jump hop
          in my step
i give my heart to you

here take this pill
it can make the darkness go away
the stars burn again
the dust turn into flowers
the flowers into dragons
and the dragons into a swimming pool
the mirrors not in me unless you put it there
you want a reflection
you get a crystal ball
inside a magical secret
i move like a *** goddess through your mind
keep your hands off me
and stand straight because i dont like slouchers
you want to win the award
you get what you pay for
you get what you came for
then you go home
and please do go home
a nicotine dream
always coming back for more
step on over to the sidelines
AND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND WATCH ME WHIP
AND WATCH ME NAENAEAND W


what has it all come to

oh dear oh deer oh dear
oh deer oh dear oh deer
it is now the next morning
surely you have ventured off by now
to some other time and place
in my mind i see you running
through a green field
as you grow, as you learn to know
WHY. did you have to go?
you ran back across the street
a beacon of light
shot down
in a matter of milliseconds
sadness fills my soul at the thought of you
trying to escape (the ditch)
alive
you are in my memory

someone once said
"no one cares for the poor man's vote"
-no one cares for the poor man's vote,
besides himself
which, in the end counts for something
it counts for more than that
it counts for your reason for breathing
for being whole
for making you who you are
for taking the best parts of you
the parts that need to be cared for
and sticking them in the firing line
and you're yelling because if you don't stand up no one will and if you don't stand up if you don't tell them what you're made of
sweat and blood and **** and
heartbreak
no one will ever know
no one will ever see
that the poor man
is the most honest of all
all of the good parts and less of the bad
no one will ever care
because no one cares for the poor man's vote
besides himself

-now, tell me, who cares for the vote of a felon?

your hands feel foreign
when you touch me
but familiar all the same,
it's the price we pay
what is it like to be you
long, slender, knowing

still

for only a moment
ever changing
it's the fire within you

i don't have to remember anymore
your touch is known
and it's a constant i am willing to keep

consistency, does it make the heart grow fonder?
if I can predict the future, can i prepare?

you say fate?
nothing is never known

i could hold your place
it lingers in the shadows
waiting for another chance

to burn

five years is far away
but it's closer than yesterday

i open up my temple
to you and you alone
come inside

Words
           are just concentrated thoughts

and i think
             they are really great but

sometimes i wish i could
concentrate my thoughts
Directly To You

sometimes i wish you understood
what i was going through
               sometimes i wish you cared. more

sometimes i wish that i cared at all
then i remember
                                                        ­      i do.

but it's not enough

for me, for you

i am nothing

the clothes hang down like they're tryna reach the floor
but no they can't, no they can't anymore

the spots hang around, they aint never cleaned
they just go, yeah they just go unseen

it's that time of the day of the month of the year
we pack up our things and we head to the pier
there aint nothing left to say or to do or to feel
we ate our belongings, we had our last meal

and it was good but it wasn't too great
the school bus was coming but it came on too late
and that's what they call rendezvousing with fate

that's what they call eating shrimp from a bucket
there's dirt on the floor in middle Nantucket

but there aint never a good way to say goodbye
there are planets in the heavens and bats in the sky

the lights were on but we're turning them off
we're taking our things and watching them scoff

there's land and there's earth and there's sea and there's sky
but there aint never, no there aint never a good way to say goodbye

so we don't
and we won't

Jahar-

i am so sorry
for this you did not deserve
a simmering government
a country in denial
you are 19 just like me
with curls and a way with words
you didn't deserve this but
you're one of the few that can handle it
"It's because of stories like this
  and such occurrences that make
  a Positive change in this world"
I want You to know that your cries
have not fallen upon deaf ears
they have been heard
they have been heard and together
together we will overcome this monster
together we will take back what we so rightfully deserve
i can't stop my tears from falling
i know you are hurting
we all are

we all are.

but you see the light and so we will follow you, Jahar
into the darkness

wandering through the city streets
snow hits the pavement
rhythmically
is this what it feels like to be alive?
cross my heart and hope to die
stare into the ever-changing sky

but today it’s gray

love me until my blood has dried
and my heart is shriveled

love me until i cannot see anything but black

love me until the dirt fills the spaces between my undeserving bones

love me until my lungs aren't breathing, my heart isn't beating

satisfy my soul

there is no safety in
anything
but results
results results results
don't make a conclusion
you're wrong
all conclusions are doubtful and they smell bad
wafting in from somewhere over there far away
uncertainty is where the fortune lies
the birds don't sing
the sun doesn't rise
the water doesn't flow
don't make conclusions
and you can bridge the gap
(maybe)

by candlelight one breathes the air that ignites your bones
pouring pitter patter into the shapes we call our dreams
there’s a magical mystery tour dying to take you away
have you ever thought about that?
you could

the mighty giant laughs while rolling stones
the fairy floats and the lions lay with lambs
in your imagination, there is a place called memory
and you can remember everything
if you want it to

dance with the grass
sing with the crickets
rock to the beat of the rhythm drum
it’s not january anymore,
and it’s not today in timbuktu

if you want to, you can sail across the sun
make peace with the ages and call your own self home
it doesn’t really matter anyway
the dots keep connecting
even while you’re gone

and when you come back down again,
you can step out to the garden
you can stand with your feet in the grass
feel the breeze and bask in the light
the flowers grow when you’re around
they crave the smell of you

alas, you sit in your corner
and wait for the tides to turn
waiting for someone to take you away
but the tides have turned
and you can sail

can’t you?

the faint light of the moon
illuminates your dark eyes
bringing your secrets to the surface
i dig deep
wondering what i may be able to find
You are so beautiful
i can only fathom
how intricate
the depths of your mind

there are a lot of stars in the sky
a lot of places where the beauty is unable to be
accurately described by the words of the human mind

but i'd much rather be
right there
in your room with you
and that thought scares me
more than any
burning ball of fire filled with gases
waiting waiting waiting patiently to explode
into the darkness into the emptiness into the
unknown

everyone
is always
trying

trying
trying trying trying

trying so hard
they never stop trying

and i wonder

what is it
they are trying to do

what is it
they are hoping to achieve

what is it
they are running from

or
more pertinently
where is it
they are running to

wrap your arms around me softly and i'll learn to fall slowly, dropping
from heights too far to comprehend
is this the beginning or is it really the end
listen to the beating wings of the bee: he's singing
people are running 'cause they're 'fraid of the stinging
i hold out my arm and pray that it hurts
life will only get better after it gets worse

"please don't save me anymore,"
i'm screaming as i fall to the floor

the bang didn't create the space it created the stuff
there was all that space sitting around waiting for the inevitable
waiting and waiting to be opened up into &
all that was left to happen happened
what a relief
chain of events - action to reaction to reaction
was there any other way?
big little ***** imploding over and over again for so long
burning burning burning
until they Xploooooode and turn into something new again
a real delight
all that power and rock marbles always coming back around
or gas giants soaring. tenants playing make-believe
what are we to do today?
look at the crater moon, did you ever want to be an astronaut?
all systems are go - lucy says kick kick

break me down
take the color out the world
the water out the ground
it's so much closer now
i can feel it closing in
you taste divine like heaven
but your very nature's sin

we're all little candles
melting around
leaving little wax puddles
wherever we go
sharing each other's burdens
of filling the night
some burning brighter, faster
more blue
gone in a flash
some like a quiet light
diffusing through
space by space, finally wearing thin
we're all just little candles
waiting to be snuffed out

man oh man
i am giddy like a child when i read you baby
lets go back to your room and bang until the sun burns out

all
darkness
time
depth
energy
mind
ego
fear
creation
art
light
t­wo
separation
hate
loneliness
desperation
matter
death
pride
dest­ruction
sound
words
communication
understanding
acceptance
love
s­pirit
whole

once there was a little seed
that rode the wind
and softly
kissed
the
ground


what happened next?
i cannot say

something new

walking towards a familiar feeling
a neverending crash
power must come from somewhere
interaction
how many are below
incalculable
someplace the whole exists together
brought in and brought out
just like that
the subtlety of it all
land of the free flying in the distance
here i am, landlocked

has anyone made it yet?
there are ever only patches then it's changing again
if they could muster up the courage they'd be able to tell the difference but it's easier to let it all run together
we're all digging
remains to be seen for what
is perseverance futile?
i wouldn't know yet

outside and
i'm spinning around
and around and
the wind starts
blowing and i'm
falling, no, flying
for a moment
through the sky
and then i'm
on the ground
i'm crying, no
i'm laughing, no
i'm free

you weren't the way i imagined you to be

you were *****
and rugged
and raw

with freckles on your cheekbones
and scars on your heart
fingers that moved
and eyes that knew pain

you had words that ached

words with no appeal
but that were filled with allure
captivating and charming and graceful
if only to me

words that made people feel
words that made people
look away
try to forget
that made them sweat
and scream at night when they were supposed to be
all cozy and warm tucked into their beds

words that made people know
that inside, they were alone
in their perfectly put together minds
always dismissing and letting go
anything that didn't matter
or that they didn't accept

your words
they told people of the darkness
how even though the light could overcome
there would always be too much to conquer
too much to get rid of
because time was moving rapidly and light
would never be able to contend

how one day there would be









so









much









space









between the stars
the speed of light wouldn't even be enough
the fastest speed would be deemed
unfit to travel
(imagine that)
one star wouldn't be able to observe another
let alone fathom one's existence

and how it was a travesty but, then again, it was all we were given
all we would ever know
here in universe X

that time is just
a blink of an eye
an exhale
a crashing wave
the end of the story

because once time begins
it is destined to end
and we exist in time's trajectory.

in The Void
time is but a faint paradox
a word
used to mask a concept
we only begin to understand
when it's too late

when the shops are being boarded up
and the hurricane's about to come ashore
-you've got fifteen minutes
but is that enough time?
to hammer the nails and
cross your t's
dot your i's
get home to your family
make sure they're
safe
and
all warm and cozy, tucked into their beds
before the rain starts to fall
and the wind starts to blow
harder than you've ever known
intense and without remorse
without feeling but with force-

you told them
you told them but they didn't listen
they didn't understand
they were too worried about
closing early
leaving late
making it home on time

too worried about getting it right and not enough about
living
the only task they were given
and they couldn't even
figure it out

but now this is me talking and no one was asking you to figure it out
they were just asking you to be
to just
be

to feel the sun
to feel the pain
to guess, to smell
to feel the change
to feel the rain
dance on your skin
to laugh
to breathe
to dream
to sin
to see the sunrise now and then

to stretch
to make
to break
to cry
to watch the clouds
go floating by

to give your heart
never refuse
to wonder
yell
and look
and lose
and if you're lucky, get to choose

you can hate and love and be in awe
paint and write and even draw
(but that's not all that you can do)
it doesn't matter, here's a clue
now is your time for passing through
it's all been done in this Royal Blue
the only difference: your point of view
so cheers 'cause now you're coming to
and with that, i bid adieu
~
your words
they moved mountains
the mountains in me
they were all you had
and they were everything


you were ***** and rugged and raw
but you
you were real
and that was more than enough for me

together, we were chaos
harmony was never our concern

listen to the leaves
the rise and fall of the in between
protection, power
both subjective
show me outside of here
and then we're getting somewhere
integration
rewind all the numbers
back to the end again
water runs rampant through the city
mitigation of migration
the treetops won't always be visible
electrified fog sticking together
don't paint the portrait
paint the scenery
and quietly
you react because you're chosen to

to kindle the flame of fear is a most prominent endeavor
one is never ready, never willing but always doing so without regard for the
   consequence
what a wondrous weight
an unfathomable burden
a dignity never dignified
at least, to the portrayer
fear
which plunders the familiar darkness
hangs hope from the tallest tree
solicits the soul until suddenly, soddenly it becomes
magnificently maneuvered, a true feat
leaving no time to act
to question what is being done
the fury of such force
inescapable
unable to be transcended by will,
one must endure the totality
until the fire has retreated,
the light extinguished, smoke cleared
and one can breathe easily again

i explained to myself that i don't have to explain myself to you
why would i
who are you anyways
all i know is who i am
and who i am not
is what i'm still trying to figure out
given time
and a little bit of miraculous mundanity
you can bet your bottom dollar
i will
that's all folks
we have arrived at the beginning of the end
again

you are
a rainstorm, interrupted
by the most elegant light show
to ever arrive in this washed-out,
faded town
orchestrated just so
allowing me, if only for an instant,
to admire it with my usually-downcast eyes

once i was a turtle in Galapagos
didn't go very far with that
i turned around and life was done
so i became a cat

the lives were very many then
i had around, well, nine
and once i climbed into a tree
and scampered down just fine

and after that i was a bat
and then became a 'roo
i didn't last too long again
because of lion in the zoo

along the way i had much fun
i scarcely can recall
up and down and up and down
the leap before the fall

i made it through the winter
not once did a single echo make it back to me
never did sound pass the confines of my tired mouth
any hope would have been ill-fated
trying would have been futile,
fruitless
my efforts were solely focused on making it to this moment
aimlessly i drifted through this atmosphere of doom
every breath one step closer to my annihilation
but that never phased you
you knew where you would wind up
among the sounds of this midsummer's morning
us, together flying in concentric circles
the head of the girl i lead at the center of it all
quite aware that the echoes coming back to me (to her) [to us]
are your finite fabrications meant to keep me awake for just a moment longer
so you can [try] to break my wings
again - i find this
infinitesimal and perpetual
predictable - i know what's headed my way
i get it. i get you
i dawdle a bit. slow the trite movement of my delicate arms,
always reaching out to take me higher,
giving you an opportunity to pounce
on the only thing you've been grappling for this whole time
but today, i'm not lost or looking for home.
my mind can only regard this as farcical now
and i can feel nothing but the monotonous beating of my weary heart
i'm numb.
i sense the sun coming up over the horizon and my energy's abating rapidly
i gather the state of my anticipation
or the lack of interest in participating, in trying to escape
has led you to save your trials for another day,
i'll be expecting you.
i quietly diffuse back into the girl i call home
allowing my thoughts, my words, my echoing voice
to be expressed once more.

everyone is dying
and i am

a paradox
bleeding between the lines of pages
staining satin sheets
cast upon the dawn of ages
rather, this age anyway

what does all of this mean to you
breaking houses
breaking bones
breaking people
everything's breaking

there's not much left to do now
but break
in a broken world
made for
breaking

maybe we should break out
of prison

cast out from the garden of eden
what.
did.
we.
do.

who are you
where are you
and why

if you didn't want us to eat the fruit you could have put it in another garden or stashed it away or refrained from creating it or
You Knew

you knew but you did it anyways because you are not justful you are just
the most rotten fruit

we could have been ripe

the idea was nice
but in your image
we were made

alive

your eyes
bluer than any sky i could ever dream of
your voice
sweeter than the sugar i put in my tea
on Sunday morning
(if i drank tea)
i want you,
not in a physical sense
(actually yes in a physical sense)
but your soul
your soul is what i want
what i need, what i crave
do you feel the same for me?
the things i would do to you
the things i will do to you
the many times i will kiss you
it's only been a half hour
but i miss you
this is the start of something beautiful
this blood in my veins
it's for you.
all for you, my love
it's almost half past three in the morning
all i can think of is your face
how i want to hold each of your cheeks in my hands
and kiss you like you've never known
the thought of you consumes me
every second
it's only been a week
we haven't even really touched yet
i want to know every inch of you
to savor every piece of your beautiful body
i will show you a love you have never known

be the sea
let the current
wash away
it all let it
fillthespaces
your heart cannot
let it wash over
you let it control
want you cannot
let it be
everything you
Wanted to
everything you
couldn't be
if you don't
want to let it
fill you completely
you could always
grab my hand
and never lose me
ever.
don't let the current
take me away
-be the sea

in suburbia there are no dogs
only knuckle sandwiches and unclean litter-boxes
the mailman comes every day at two
only to keep on going
once there was lemonade stands and yard sales
now piling junk and rotting fruit
we stack all the flat bicycle tires up and climb to the sun
only to fall back down again
sometimes we can smell the stench from the landfill 4 hours from here
or two minutes - depending on how you get there
everyone has a car
nobody has a jack-o-lantern
anymore
the grass is starting to get tired of eternity
"i never signed up for this" they say
the windowsills are planes of dirt
<4, 2>
ladybug carcass heading to rotterdam
i think the sun burned all the stars away
the snow that used to fall now sinks into the ground
listen close to hear the drab hum of the political gurus speaking in tongues
exponential growth, i think
from nowhere to somewhere to nowhere in ten seconds flat
paperboys, sandbuckets, travelling salesman
telescopes, watering cans, wagon wheels
nannies, idle time, hide and seek

now everyone's got something important to say
but not to the gods
only to heaven

maybe there are dogs in suburbia
but that's all there is
anymore

can you hear me or can you hear yourself
what's the difference
stringing letters together
by and by and by
do you know now?
every time i breathe in
i can feel you over there
watching, waiting
indifference is a virtue
a prized possession
starts out slowly shaking
soon mastered, your master
you are Master
your body is a temple
within which you reside
and i worship you

the flowers lift their heads to say hello
the flowers lift their heads because they know
who you are and what you am and who you be

what you see

they know,
                    they understand

never told
                    never forgotten
they will never forget you

they know

in summer
each day a different location
a new face emerges
mountain man
feeling things out by not feeling at all
the time will never be right
(it will never be wrong, either)
the well has run dry, hasn't it?
words are hard
but still they come
worlds apart
a mirror image
wind in the face, nipping at the ends
a little at a time
never knowing what it was like to feel something and nothing at all
now i do
your arms are strong but your heart is buried
could we fly to the snow-covered alps?
it is much too warm here
was supposed to rain but here i am basking in the sunlight
feels more like baking
to me

i remember you said you were daedalus, my father
so i was icarus, your son.
i didn't follow you
and it seemed that you had won
i fell and i fell fast
while imprisoned, you stayed
i broke the ******* effortlessly
when i smashed the giant wave
as my lungs filled up with water
you began to miss
the feeling that i gave you
that awful form of bliss

this is death
the irreversible-you're-not-going-to-make-it-out-of-here-in-one-piece­ kind
the "we're going to break you down until there's nothing left to break"
"but bones"
"and then we'll break them too"
i swear! i paid the piper
i paid the piper
i paid the piper
but Piper doesn't care-
he wants more tears
more lies, more lives
more fear
the piper wants you dead
and no blood on his hands
i am not the willing henchman
but my hands are caked in dirt
and i couldn't stop digging these graves if i wanted to



or is it just the truth?

encapsulating my face
as i walk down main street
a web that catches butterflies
for me to devour tonight
while everyone is dreaming
the sun exists there all around me
illuminating every separate piece
the grass-blade
the bypasser
the pavement crack
a perfectly pieced puzzle
-i must be the shadow here-
an outlier an oddity
the light spares me today
it will come again when there is less to wonder about
more to know
suppose you find me here
shadow and all
i would say
here is not what you are looking for
you cannot scare this away
and certainly it is not able to be subsumed
resigned toleration is all
but even that is unwanted
pay no mind to the dismality of my sanity
be on your way
stop and smell the pungent odors of the pyrus calleryana
the sky is not flat today
the air, not stifling
make it merry (if you'd like)
there is nothing tragic about synergy

i wrote your number down
even though i'll never call you
i don't care if that's weird
i only wanted to know what it would feel like to see it in writing

i wonder about your voice
what it would sound like to hear you say
"i hate you"
or
"i never did."
maybe we could talk about the weather up north
or the politics down here in the south
(they're not heading in any other direction)
we could talk about how my flowers never bloomed
how your job at the pizza parlor is going
or how we're running out of time

anything would do
anything
just to fill the one thing
that is filling all these miles between us

silence
oh, the deafening silence
how it jars with my ears
battles with my brain
messes with my mind

from time to time i hear you
i wonder if you can hear me too

Pluto, not a planet anymore.
WAIT
next logical step:
Mistaken
WAIT
get away from me!
TOO FAR

Pluto,
it would be nice
to be this or that
no bearing on
what
anyways
Classification
a symptom
of everything else

whole lives
well that is That
and this is This
you are You. she: She.
who's he?
never once lend their mind

what am?
and if gets lucky
steals a moment
as abruptly as it arrived
pushed aside

maybe by knowing all else
then
finally
never

whole lives spent running from

you show your love indirectly
Always thinking about the consequences Always
thinking about the "what if's" Always thinking
about the possibilities

i, when i love, am more of a direct kind of gal
Always on impulse Never caring Never stopping
to think just wanting to get my point across

You are my teacher and I am your student
teach me of the world and all things in it
teach me about up and teach me about down
teach me how to grow
teach me control teach me precision
teach me human, teach me humility.
rid me of my futility

teach me of the world and i will show you how to
love yourself. teach me of the world and i will show
you what it's like.
i am a bat without a voice in the
middle of a winter night
one of those nights where the snow has stopped
falling but you can't see the street or the grass or the
treetops or your-hand-in-front-of-your-*******-face
Anything really
Anything but white
Midnight
and it is February because we all know
it does not snow
in December anymore
it moved away a long time ago
looking for sunnier days
looking for happier times
not realizing it was the actual problem
only tired of being the coldest rain
wait
i am (obviously) lost

come


come

find

me

i have allowed myself to get snowed into the
confines of my mind and well the trash is piling up
and i am running out of food

you keep me on my towns
i'll bring you back down
or maybe it's the other way around
(i am not sure yet it just sounded good)

teach me all the lessons you would like
i just want your mind.
i just want your time
for this is all i, myself, have to give
to you. do not take advantage.

do not expect what you cannot give (trust)
Trust.
do not leave and i will not stay
i think this is all i have to say

if you could please

that would be beneficial

I'm listening

it's already there

all already allllllalllready

can you feel them listening







-if you could please give me a moment of your time I have something to ask of you am not sure what but if you would could you please give me some of that moment then it would be beneficial




I have nothing to give if that's what you're asking of me

you don't
you do

provide the moments and you're set

moment by moment by moment

setting things into action

and then you're following them by command

the wind blows you into me
for the first time in so long
i remember what it feels like to be close to your body
"i am here with the stars and you"
we are all here together

you look me in the face and i can feel your fire within me
this is good
better than i imagined
but still i hesitate
uncertain futures and all that
but for now it feels alright
i am breathing again with you
here in the moment
and i like it more than i should
more than i want to
i can't wait to feel your real touch
the kind that wraps around my body and turns me into a butterfly
i want to fly
you do too
i can see it in your eyes
in your lips
in your words
don't kiss me goodnight yet
you are what i've been waiting for
tomorrow we begin

I didn't know there was a lesson in the world
I didn't know there was a growing tree
I didn't know there were bright blue flowers
all I knew was you were you
    and I was me

i'd forgotten how the sun feels as it shines
i'd forgotten all the music, how it plays
I'd forgotten how the books would tell a story
all I wanted was for you to speak my name

i'd lost myself amidst the burning fire
i found myself again amongst the sea
I cannot fathom how I lost so many hours
now I finally can say that I am free

it took so long for me to just remember
it took so long for me to start to see
my words are all I have and so I whisper:
"it was something in the way you spoke to me"

thank you for the thoughts that I found after
thank you for the way you shared your truth
if it weren't for you, I feel inclined to say
i would have gladly just sat down, remained aloof

attached
like these words to this piece of paper
the leaves to the trees in spring
a butterfly and the butterfly's wing

stuck
between a rock and a hard place
you're so far
and i'm so worn down
won't you come and find me?

i am the space between the minute shadows of light on the creases of a soft white blanket enveloping half of your beautiful face

All faces are beautiful