alasia: Favorites

Mar 2014 alasia

Samantha Ellis

the devil on my shoulder
is also my best friend
not because i enjoy his company
but he's the only one who will listen

the angel on my shoulder
left after too many mistakes
said i was breaking his tiny heart
didn't know how much more he could take

so the devil now is my only confidant
the only one who helps me out
sure we get into some trouble
but he never has a doubt

he doesn't leave when things get hard
and i know why that is
he likes to see my life spiral downwards
because then it relates to his

Mar 2014 alasia

Ballerina

Mar 2014 alasia

Sammie wells

Ballerina

Her sculptured body
Strong thighs
Under a canopy
of Branches
She's comes alive

With her Ballerina pose
She Reaches out
For the night sky
While she dances
In union
with the breeze

The beautiful Ballerina tree.

Don't know how many of you have seen the ballerina tree or dancing tree, as she's known by both. So beautiful I wrote her a poem.

Mar 2014 alasia

Cognitive Dissonance

Mar 2014 alasia

Theia Gwen

Cognitive Dissonance

I'm so filled with self loathing
I have a problem believing
Anyone could love me
And then you happened
You, with your perfect grades,
And perfect family,
Perfect everything
It makes sense you'd want a perfect girlfriend
So why'd you settle for me?
Why am I next to you?
Me, the definition of average
It doesn't add up
Why is there an us?
Us, You and I
Perfect and average?
You're not a good liar
I can tell when you do
And it seems you're not lying
When you say "I love you"
I don't know what to think anymore
Because you've told me all the things
I never told myself
And I think I needed that
More than anything

Mar 2014 alasia

Never Good Enough

Mar 2014 alasia

Theia Gwen

Never Good Enough

You never fail
To point out every single flaw
Never forget to remind me
Of everything I do wrong
I was stupid getting 60's,
Still stupid on honor roll
And you never cared about my ADHD
Always comparing me to someone else
I already know how worthless I am
I tell myself all the time
No, this isn't teenage angst
I've been sad for years
You've made me feel alone
And that's why I love him,
He told me the things you should have said
All along
I think this revelation is far overdue
The fault isn't in me,
The fault is in you

To my mother.

Mar 2014 alasia

What Will They Say

Mar 2014 alasia

Mike Hauser

What Will They Say

When your last breath has been taken

The final curtain drawn

What memories will you leave behind

In the hearts of those you've known

Will it be there was a Godly man

Or have mercy on his soul

Choose this day what they will say

For tomorrow never knows

Mar 2014 alasia

Binging And Purging

Mar 2014 alasia

Theia Gwen

Binging And Purging

Sometime I think this cycle never ends
I binge and purge,
Then binge again
Cookies, ice cream, and chocolate cake
All in one go
Until I have an empty plate
Hugging the toilet,
Tasting bile,
I tells my friends it's just a diet
It's dangerous,
It could ****,
It's not glamourous
I knows it's wrong
But it feels so right
I tells myself I'm being strong
This cycle will never end
Emptying my plate,
then my stomach
It's far too late
I keep binging, and purging
Then binging again

It's a snow day, which means I'm home alone, which means I'm binging and purging. Fun. I literally just ate a whole gallon of ice cream.

Mar 2014 alasia

Wintergirls

Mar 2014 alasia

Theia Gwen

Wintergirls

Cassie and Lia
Or Ana and Mia?
I don't know who we are anymore
Best friends or competitors?
Both fighting for a place at the morgue
As the first snow falls,
Our blood intermingles
In a pact to be the skinniest of them all
And no one else can see
That we're stuck in a blizzard
Doing anything for beauty
Icy veins and frozen hearts
Numbers shrinking on the scale
Metallic blades leaving scars
Pretty pills and bathroom stalls,
Diet coke and working out,
This is all that we are
We used to be innocent Cassie and Lia,
But when I look in the mirror
I only see Ana and Mia

Based off of the book Wintergirls by one of my favorite authors, Laurie Halse Anderson. It's about two girls struggling with eating disorders, Cassie and Lia.