I've been digging
through this dumpster
far too long
trying to get to the bottom of it all.
Slimey sweet stench
there's my first love
my first pipe
my last light
my first rush
my last gush
my first bet
my last buck
"the game ain't over
until the rent money's gone."

I am down a deep hole
and my only tool is a shovel
I've got that one choice
but to go
down
down
down.
Drunk and dial
Drunk and poetry
how did I get here
how do I get out?

I'm a spiritual wasteland
connected to no one
connected to nothing
My drug
My man
My woman
My casino
The rush comes first
The numbness comes last
until
death, insanity or jail
is within my grasp.
I do what I do
But I am allergic too
you understand
when I do what I do
I break out in handcuffs
jail cells
strapped down to beds
looking around
longing for my dumpster
and
what I might have found.

1st Step
12th Step
I've done them all
though the 13th Step
I liked the best
Sponsors have come and gone
Spiritual awakenings
have all been done
I am back in this dumpster
where I had begun.

There is an exquisite mystery
at the heart of it all
the internal shift
happens
an inside job
The 21 year old's first black out
enough is enough
The 60 year old
on his fifth DUI
going out for one more round.

It is true
I have seen it many times
Recovery can be found
Hope restored
Wisdom in these halls
Peace within these walls
The dumpster closed
and left behind
A ladder falls and arrives
acceptance and gratitude
combine
as they say
"One day at a time."

It's snowing outside.
Lots of snow.

Theres also a potato in a bowl.
I keep thinking that potato is a muffin.
I keep wishing it was a muffin,
but it's just a potato.

The thing is that
potatoes are good, but muffins are better.
There's nothing much better than a good muffin

It's like trying to enjoy a slide
after you've been on a roller coaster.
I hate when things get dull
like pencils.

Follow the sun my child
For it only has good intentions
Let its rays caress you
                         And whisper in your ear
I am alive.
Let it kiss your cheek and wish you a better tomorrow.
For you only have good intentions
And I just want to caress you
And whisper in your ear
I am alive.

the branches silhouette against the sky
spiderweb of leaves and wood
against damp cool air
languages spoken by the world around me
words in tongues of the mysterious night
the dreams that come into focus
are ones that vividly center on moments
never truly lived
conversations that should have been
love made but never shared
the branches silhouette against the night sky
watch slow procession stately and pure
as the web woven by branches and leaves
gives slow silent birth to a tree in dawns
revealing light
so it is with you and I
look at me silhouetted against the
darkness of her words
wait for dawns light to show the truth
you already know