I am walking a thin line between how I see myself,
And how others define,
I try to lift myself up,
But then I'm taken down,
I try to make myself smile,
But there's nothing but a frown.
Tik tok, the hours on the clock,
The seconds and minutes rushing by,
And in a blink of an eye, it's 3 o'clock again,
And I try to get myself out of bed... But I can't.
Even though I know everything I said,
About getting up late,
It shouldn't be a debate,
But I can see it on everyone's face... that they talk,
Staring, counting every second of my walk,
As I go to get a cup of tea,
And I wish that I was free,
From all of this anxiety,
Trapping me, taking control of my life,
Making me stay in my room,
Wallowing in utter doom,
Listening to music to pull me through.

The way things used to be,
Years ago when we were free,
What happened to our society?
Now mobile phones are glued to our hands,
Making quite a lot of demands,
Taking over starting to expand,
Like it's a whole other place,
Another land.
People are consumed by social media,
An unhealthy place is where it'll lead ya,
Picture perfect, flawless but fake,
How much of this can you really take?
Plump up your lips, and have a flat belly,
Don't eat sweets and don't eat jelly,
Be like Megan Fox who's with Machine Gun Kelly,
Be a model that's on the telly.
Have skinny legs and be 6 ft 2,
Only wear heels and don't wear shoes,
See yourself from our view,
Get botox til your face is blue.
Listening to your every word,
We know everything, we've got all the dirt,
Secretly listening to conversations,
Showing you clothes & makeup,
Testing your patience.
It makes you feel like how many followers you have or likes defines who you are,
If you have over 1000 followers, yeah you are a star,
But if you have only 7, oops sorry you didn't get far.
Number and likes don't define you,
Nobody has over 1000 friends,
Your value doesn't decrease based on numbers on social media,
You must be careful because sometimes it can try to mislead ya.

A tear falls from my eye,
Inside of it holds questions why,
Like why you treated me this way,
And acted like I'm the one who's not okay,
Or why I'm always pushed aside,
When I treat them nice & treat them kind,
Or why I'm always ghosted and rejected,
And why I'm hurt and disrespected,
Why I always seem to regret it,
Everything I try and do,
My kindness is taken for granted.
Why are you so cold?
Do you even weep?
And why don't you feel bad?
How can you even sleep?
As I wipe the tear from my cheek,
I'm not asking why anymore,
Because my worth isn't defined,
By someone who has hardly felt this low.

I had a dog named Coco,
I got him when I was 9,
His breed was a longhaired chihuahua,
He had reddish brown fur & brown eyes.
He meant quite a lot to me,
I loved him very much,
A small dog with a big personality,
He'd eat chorizos & such.
He was so hilarious,
He'd skid on his nails across the floor,
He brought joy into my world,
Since I was a little girl.
I remember when I went to get him first,
He was fearful, snappy & scared,
Like as if he was afraid,
And no one ever cared.
He grew up into a friendly dog,
I took him on many walks,
He loved sausages and chorizos,
And when I'd eat, he would watch.
He was a brave little guy,
Would take on a labrador,
He protected me if he sensed anything,
And he always waited at the kitchen door.
He would walk across the windowsill,
Look out, be really nosey,
He'd get excited over the small things,
Like running to his bed which was cozy.
When I was sad,
Coco was there,
When I was anxious,
Coco did care,
When I was happy,
He was happy too,
Dogs always love you,
They love you for you.
They don't judge your flaws, how you look or if you're sad,
If you even have messy hair and you feel really bad.
He always rested his head on my foot,
Looked at me with loving eyes,
And even though he was so small,
His heart was bigger than his size.

It's okay to cry,
It's okay to pout,
It's okay to frown,
It's okay to doubt.
It's okay to stay in bed,
And lie awake at night,
It's okay to give yourself a break,
But don't lose your light.
It's okay to try and fail,
And fail and try again,
That doesn't mean you're a failure,
Or a 0 out of 10.
It's okay to talk,
Not bottle it up inside,
Treat yourself well,
Don't be harsh, just be kind.

I hate the way you look at me,
I hate the way we talk,
I hate the way you always dress,
And I hate the way you walk.
I hate the way you chew your gum,
And how you style your hair,
I hate your stupid Doc Marten boots,
And how you always stare,
I hate the way you wear silver rings,
I hate the way you laugh,
I hate the way you play guitar,
I hate your big dumb band.
But what I hate even more,
And it makes me cry & ball,
Is that I actually don't hate you,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all.
To be honest,
I love the way you look at me,
I love the way we talk,
I love the way you always dress,
And I love the way you walk,
I love the way you chew your gum,
And how you style your hair,
I love your cool Doc Marten boots,
And how you always care.
I love the way you wear silver rings,
I love your infectious laugh,
I love the way you play guitar,
I love your big dope band.
I pretended that I hated you,
Cause it all just felt like a scheme,
Because I've dealt with too many nightmares,
But you feel like a dream.

I used to trust,
When I was little & small,
A kid that didn't doubt,
A kid that didn't stop nor stall,
It never crossed my mind,
Whether they liked me or not,
Or if I wasn't good enough,
I never had that thought.
I liked the way I was,
My true blue self,
But when I got older,
Something happened to my mental health.
Many people rejected,
The person that I was,
Pushed away & left out,
But it wasn't my fault.
When someone sees your spark,
They try to stamp it out,
They want to see you not do well,
They want to see you down and out,
But what you don't see,
When you feel that low,
Is they've always seen your spark,
They just don't want it to glow,
Because you are amazing,
Just the way you are,
And it's jealousy,
They had for me,
Cause I shone bright like the moon & stars.