I'm too happy with you
To bleed
To ruin it all
For a blade
I miss the sting
Miss the relief desperatly
And though it's been months
I fight it each day
But I'm too happy
Too in love to bleed.

Yeah, maybe I'm too serious
and I take things too personally
and I feel things too deeply
but you have to remember
that you broke my heart
and I loved you through it all
and I never got angry;
only at myself
so now I have a chance
to be mad at you; livid, seething
and you have to realize
that it might be
the only thing
that will heal this

I've been thinking about him

"My father "

And I hate it
I hate how much
I was like him
How we both lived
Our double lives
Our kleptomania
Similar
Our sins
Nearly the same
I never once had a
Meaningful conversation with that man
And yet I had unknowingly become him
I had become the enemy
My father
The one person
I wanted nothing to do with
He'd never show interest
In his girl
my brothers
they don't even know how lucky they are
To be blind
To have him their whole childhood
I always wanted a father
But it took at least ten years
To realize that the father I wanted wasn't him
The father I wanted did not exist
He still remains a dream
I was in my biological fathers footsteps
Following him blindly
and it took his suffering
his true identity to be revealed for me to understand
that we're not right and this part of me
No matter how little
Says we both have the same genetics that
make us uncontrollable
Its not our faults
it something in our Dna
the blood we share
I, despite my dislike and lack of love for him
Still want him
Want us to have a legitimate reason for our wrongs
He's not my dad and he never will be
But we share blood
I cannot deny that fact
No matter how little I like it.