Tell her I know now what I should have said
But I took the words and wrote sad poems instead
I show them to strangers
But I’m always writing to her

You hate everything that surrounds you. You think the universe betrayed you in so many ways. You feel hate underneath your skin, and so you hated yourself more than anyone. But I won't let you, will you let me?

- karen, 08.04.17

Her French name means rare excellence and precious stone and I will tell you how she's the rarest of them all.
She's the "I know it will break your heart picking fresh flowers so I built this Lego sunflower for my love will die the moment they wither".
She's the "I know you're a better cook than me but I still make you cookies".
She's the morning walks, the deep talks, the laugh for corny jokes, the simp for anime boys, and the cry over Taylor Swift songs.

It feels amazing how things so little, so seemingly insignificant, could have such an impact.
It's comforting, reassuring, unwavering, safe, and compassionate.
It doesn't matter if I have known her 20 seconds or 20 years for her little things filled the gaps and with her kind and gentle heart - makes her my greatest love.

- karen, 02.18.2022

Your ocean is way too deep,
I don't want to dive in,
not because I'm scared of drowning,
but because I don't know how to swim.

- karen, 07/22/17

What if I tell you a word
that can describe a feeling
of abundant happiness
that's been bursting
inside my chest like fireworks?
What if the word is so simple,
I've been secretly saying to you
this whole time?

— karen, 01.02.18

I've read several proses and stories,
on what first kiss feels like
or how true a kiss from true love.
I've been there a lot of times
but I can't remember
what it actually feels like.
But then that one night,
that one night is everything.
I have felt everything,
those weird feelings I read in books,
the unexplainable spark,
the head above clouds,
stomach filled with butterflies.
I think the universe added too much spice
How suddenly it felt everything nice.
And I can see in her eyes, I can still feel her lips
And how in split seconds, I'm frozen like ice.

-— karen, 03.17.18

When did you decide it was a race?

How dare you say you're tired
when I just wanted to hold your hand while watching the sunset.
How dare you say you can't breathe
when I told you a thousand times to stop smoking cigarettes.
How dare you say I'm too fast
when I always follow you from behind.
How dare you say you're thirsty
when I pour to you everything that I have.
How dare you say you're falling apart when I always pick you up.

When did you decide to cut your race
without reaching the finish line?

— karen, 2021

I hope you fall in love
with a writer or a poet
because you'll be immortal
in their work before you know it.

I hope you find someone
as amazing as Dickinson or Poe
who's able to describe the beautiful
things about you from your head to your toes,
someone willing to write paragraphs
about how you drink your iced espresso,
or write an entire novel inspired by
your favorite crime documentary shows.

Fall in love with a writer or a poet
and whether you'll agree or object,
you'll learn that in that someone's eyes,
you're nothing less than perfect.

— karen, 02.18.22

our story was written
in an invisible ink,
in a blank page,
it’s already been ripped.
our story was untold
hidden in a careful fold.
we’re just a page,
a short prologue.

you're
a toxic in my heart,
a cancer in my body,
a torture in my brain
i think i should **** myself first
before you do .

I wish I could put the world in my hands.
I wish I could put you in my hands.

I hate traffic. It steals so much time before I finally see you.

Maybe the reason why I can't keep next to you is because, just like a gasoline crawling to a fire, when the time we touch each other, I will evaporate myself.

Have you ever feel so empty and heavy at the same time?
It amazes you when you see the rainbows but imagining what the world would be like in black & white
You laugh with your friends during hangouts but your eyes were tired from midnight cries
Time flies but you still miss, those memories stuck in a bliss

Future looks good
when I think of me and you

Pumatak na ang ulan,
Tumunog na ang kampana.
Sa hindi maipaliwanag na dahilan,
Sa gitna ng mga maninimba
Tumigil ang oras saiyong mga mata.
Hindi ko naman akalain na sa dinami-rami ng lugar na pwede kang makita, sa Plaza Miranda lang pala?

When you have those kind of feelings like you wanna peel your skin and rip your heart. You just want to be transparent and naked but it's really difficult. You want to look straight on their eyes. You want to be an open book and let them read your soul. You want to speak without trembling and pausing voice. You want to cry out all your tears. You want to laugh so hard until your stomach hurts. You want to feel alive. You want to live. Live in honesty. But you can't. Because you have guilt. You made wrong choices. You are insensitive and indecisive. You are selfish. You are heartless.

(03/11/16 — 1:09am)

Undress yourself and wear me, for you like to wear imperfections and yet make others fall for you.

I can see weapons in your eyes
You wish to cut so many ties
I must tell you so many times
To stop with all of your white lies
That you tend to internalise
Take a moment to realise
That this isn't change but surprise
And yet you still reach for the knives

No advice in love. It's experience
No advice in poetry. It's talent

I love you, in ways you've never been loved, for reasons you've never been told, for longer than you think you deserved and with more than you will ever know existed inside me.

I'm thinking of you
I wish you knew
I love you
This is true

I'm thinking of signs
How to make you mine
Be my only man
Is it fine?

I'm thinking of us
Let's forget the past
I hope you're my last
Yes, you must

As I look into your eyes
I see stars from the sky
Wrapped with the blanket of night
I see beauty even without a light
That draws me
to the darkest side of the world
And drowns me
to the deepest form of your soul
So bare with me as I hold
With my last words
and afterthoughts